I was a human man.
My father, the King, fell on the battlefield, leaving me to inherit the throne of a tiny kingdom at the age of eighteen.
Ten years had passed since then. Those years had been a blur of constant conflict.
Our nation was small, but because most of it was fertile farmland, our neighbors were always circling like vultures. I tried telling them that this was no time for human squabbles—that we needed to unite against the threat of the Demon Kingdom—but they turned a deaf ear. They only ever hummed that tune once they had lost a war against us.
It was grating.
Fortunately—or perhaps unfortunately—I had talent.
It feels arrogant to say it myself, but I possessed great personal skill in the martial arts and even greater aptitude for commanding an army. I would not call myself undefeated, but I won almost every engagement.
One after another, I crushed the nations that struck us, expanding our borders until we were a reasonably sized kingdom.
Reasonably sized, I say. We were not yet a Great Nation. Those truly massive powers are in a league of their own. I knew I had to amass more strength if I ever wanted to stop dancing to their tune.
Today, I had wiped another country off the map.
"As expected of our King! A magnificent display!"
"Even the formidable Gozran Kingdom was like a babe in arms before your might."
"Truly, your martial prowess is fit for a Conqueror King! We must all strive to keep pace!"
At the victory banquet held in the royal castle, my generals praised me with wide smiles. These men acted like sycophants in my presence, but they were anything but. They were legends in their own right, known throughout the neighboring lands as war-demons who slaughtered enemies without mercy.
"It was a stroke of brilliance to capture not just the enemy King, but the Princes and Princesses on the battlefield as well. It made the annexation of their lands quite smooth."
That was true. I had captured them.
"So, how shall we dispose of them?"
"Dispose of them?" I asked.
"Yes. We were wondering what sort of honorable death you might grant them."
"Now, now. Don't bring such grim talk to a celebration."
"Quite right. This isn't the place for it. Isn't that so, my King?"
Hmph. They might have lost, but they had challenged me head-on. I had to give them that much credit.
"And so...?"
"If they can be of use to our country, I shall let them live and put them to work."
"Oh! Such magnanimity from our King!"
"Truly, truly!"
"Still, that Third Princess... she might be regretting her flight. She threw away a chance to serve our King."
"You mean the one who abandoned her post and fled before the first blow was even struck?"
"Someone that spineless is of no use to us. It would be easier if she just curled up and died in a ditch somewhere."
"Hahahaha! Ah, your cup is empty, Sire. Someone! Bring more sake!"
"My apologies. Here, Sire. It has already been tested for poison."
As I took the fresh cup, one of the generals raised a toast. I hoisted my cup in response, and the hall erupted in cheers.
"To the King!"
"Hahaha! Our nation is invincible!"
"Indeed! As long as our King leads us, we shall never know defeat!"
Hearing their praise, my heart almost softened. But I could not afford to be careless. Not for a moment.
Our situation had improved, but we were far from safe. I intended to rule with benevolence, but I had built this empire on the sword. I knew I was hated.
And then there was the Third Princess. A fair number of people had followed her when she fled. They were not powerful enough to take my head, but I could not let my guard down.
I would allow the men to revel tonight, but tomorrow, we would tighten our belts once more.
"Yes, Sire! For the glory of the kingdom!"
That night. Or rather, in the dead of night.
I made my way to a grand chamber illuminated by a forest of candles. There, in one fluid motion, I bowed. I dropped to my knees and pressed my forehead to the floor. Then, I offered a sincere, full-throated apology.
"I am terribly, terribly sorry!"
I remained frozen in that position, waiting for a response.
Silence.
Should I apologize again? Just as I opened my mouth to try once more, a voice finally cut through the air.
"My King."
"Yes. Here."
"Did you forget what I told you before this campaign began?"
"N-no, I did not forget. That is why I am here, begging for forgiveness..."
"What was the objective of this mission?"
"To secure the administrative staff of the Gozran Kingdom, specifically the Third Princess."
"Correct. And where is she?"
"She... she escaped."
"And the civil officials?"
"They fled with her."
"And yet, you destroyed the Gozran Kingdom anyway?"
"I did."
"Why?"
"Ah... well... it just sort of happened in the heat of the moment..."
"Why did you take the land then?! I told you again and again and again—we cannot handle any more territory! We are at our limit!"
The man I was currently prostrated before was a middle-aged fellow. His rank was merely that of a Baron. His profession: Civil Official. And this room was the heart of our domestic administration—the Internal Affairs Minister's Office.
The space was crammed to the ceiling with unprocessed documents and wooden ledgers. In what little room remained, his colleagues were working like men possessed. Their eyes were vacant, but their hands moved with mechanical speed.
"We were a backwater nation to begin with! We only have the infrastructure to rule a backwater! And yet you have quadrupled our borders in a decade... it is madness! We are insolvent!"
"Well, I would not say 'backwater.' We were a 'small' country—"
"Don't give me your pathetic euphemisms! Pride doesn't balance the books!"
"My apologies."
"How did it come to this?!"
"Because you people kept demanding civil officials who could actually do their jobs!"
"Yes, we did!"
"And when I looked around, it turned out the Third Princess of Gozran and her staff were the best in the region! You are the ones who said you wanted them!"
"So your solution was a war? I believe I suggested peaceful methods!"
"Look, I tried. But even I have my dignity. I could not exactly march up and say, 'Please help us, we are drowning in paperwork!'"
"Yes, you could! Throw your dignity in the trash!"
"There are some things a king simply cannot throw away! Anyway, I decided that since we just needed the Princess to come here, I’d send a formal request to take her as my wife. Not even a concubine—my legal queen! I sent the envoys, and for some reason, the Gozran Kingdom immediately mobilized for total war. I tried to talk them down, but they rejected every negotiation and attacked us! I had no choice!"
"..."
"What?"
"My King. I have one question. Answer me honestly."
"I will."
"How old are you?"
"I turn twenty-eight this year."
"And the Third Princess of Gozran?"
"Hmm? Wait. How old was she again? The First Prince is twenty-seven, a year younger than me. The Second Princess was twenty-five. So, the Third is... twenty?"
"She is seven."
"...What?"
"Seven! Asking for a seven-year-old as a bride is no different from demanding a hostage! Of course they attacked you!"
"What? Seven? But they said she was a genius at administration!"
"That is exactly why we wanted her!"
"Oh..."
"I thought that even if the territory grew, we would be fine as long as we had her and her staff to manage it... and yet you only brought home the land."
"I-I'm sorry. I really am. I should have checked her age."
"You did not kill the Gozran royalty, did you?"
"Of course not. If I killed them, I would never be able to negotiate with the Princess when she resurfaces."
"Then let them go."
"Eh?"
"Release them. Let the Gozran royals go. We will restore their kingdom. Yes, that is the only way. We have to act like this war never happened."
"Ah, well... about that..."
"What now?"
"I was worried about failing to catch the Princess, too. So on the way back, I intentionally thinned the guard detail several times to give them a chance to escape."
"And?"
"They would not leave. They just sat there, waiting to be served."
"Then go dump them in the wilderness! Surely they will wander home eventually!"
"I dumped them twice. They followed us back! It is not my fault!"
"It is entirely your fault! Aside from the Princess, the rest of them are just blockhead royals who could not balance a checkbook to save their lives! What are we supposed to do with them? They are dead weight!"
"They... they are useful in a fight. They were actually quite strong. The First Prince was shattering boulders with his sword."
"If he can shatter boulders into organized tax records, then by all means, put him to work! Seriously, what are you going to do?! If we leave this new land ungoverned, the Great Nations will come down on us like a ton of bricks!"
"Let them! I will crush any Great Nation that dares!"
"Sire, if we draw their ire, our economy will evaporate before a single sword is drawn. There won't even be a war to fight!"
"Uhh... oh! I know! Why don't I give the new land to my subordinates as rewards?"
"And who will manage it? Us! None of your men have ever governed anything. We were a tiny kingdom where the Royal Family handled everything because there wasn't enough land to go around!"
"I see. Then... it is time for the nuclear option."
"Oh? You actually have a plan?"
"We will do what Gozran did."
"?"
"We will pick a fight with a nation that has a strong administration, lose on purpose, and get ourselves annexed."
"Wait. If we are annexed... what happens to me?"
"Don't worry, Sire. I will petition them to give you a quick, painless execution."
"I will die! I will literally be dead! Stop! I don't want to die! I haven't even been married yet!"
"Then we are all resigning."
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Anything but that! I will give you titles! Estates!"
"We don't want them!"
I was a human man. Completely hopeless at internal affairs, yet feared as the Conqueror King.
Sane Civil Official: "Go on, go back to your country." Captured Royalty: "No thanks. We like the food here."
Sane Civil Official: "We did not need the land, just the talent..." Generals: "Kidnapping is a bit outside our specialty..."
Conqueror King: "What do you mean by 'peaceful methods'? How was I supposed to get her?" Sane Civil Official: "Lend out a few Generals to them in exchange for the Princess's help!" Conqueror King: "Lending people like library books...?" Sane Civil Official: "We could have returned her in ten years or so. Probably."