The throne room.
In a hall so magnificent it deserved no other name, a slender man in his early thirties stood waiting for us.
"Mwahahaha! You have done well to reach this place, you fools! ...Wait, hang on. My back just cramped up because I haven't moved my arms in ages. Roberto, give me a massage. Pat it down. Right there, just below the shoulder blade. I did do my warm-ups, I swear. Ah, a little higher. Yes, right there."
So, it turned out the vampire’s name was Roberto. And then there was this "Master" person. Was he a vampire too? Their relationship was clearly master and servant, but...
I glanced at Urza-san to see how she was reading the situation, only to find her and the Ice Monsters looking pointedly in the other direction. Ah, I see. This was a "don't look" moment. Since he’d clearly messed up, they were going to pretend the mistake never happened so he could try again.
I followed her lead, but... Urza-san, you’re awfully used to this, aren't you? Do you know people like this? No? Is it some kind of "noble speak"? If I had to translate his earlier outburst, it probably meant something like, "Welcome, you are most invited."
The culture of the Demon Kingdom truly was a mystery to me.
"Mwahahaha! You have done well to reach this place, you fools!"
This was his third attempt, by the way. He’d stumbled over his lines during the second try, so we were pretending that one didn't happen either. He managed to get it out perfectly the third time. He was so impressive... no, wait, I mean, that was good.
How was I supposed to respond? Not knowing the etiquette, I decided to leave it to Urza-san. Yes, please, after you. I gestured for her to take the lead.
Urza-san looked like she’d rather be doing anything else, but she eventually relented and borrowed a cloth from the Kurokuro-san—actually, it was a mantle. She draped it over herself and flourished the hem with one arm.
"So, you are the King of this Labyrinth of Illusion! Tell me, why do you seek to harm us?!"
Upon hearing Urza-san’s line, the Master... began celebrating with Roberto. They looked like they’d finally found someone who spoke their language—like they’d discovered a fellow enthusiast with the exact same niche hobby.
"Roberto, she’s a natural!"
"Indeed, Master. I sensed a certain aura about her from the start."
Please don't say that out loud. Urza-san is waiting for your next line.
"Ahem. Forgive me. Mwahahaha! What use is that knowledge to you? You shall meet your end in this place!"
Seriously, if you’re so worried about whether your meaning is getting across that you have to check, why not just talk normally?
"Have you become drunk on your own power? Then try to crush us with that power if you can!"
Well, good for them. It seemed they were communicating perfectly with Urza-san. Hey, don't look so obviously pleased with yourselves. Keep it going.
For the record, not a single bit of this made sense to me. I’d have to ask for a translation later. It felt like watching a piece of improvisational theater. It was impressive that they could have such an intense back-and-forth without any rehearsal.
Since I’d given up on actually understanding the words, only phrases like "the pitch-black darkness that crawls the earth," "the Sword of Lightning Tearing the Heavens," "pitiful succubus," and "the piercing spear of death" stuck in my mind.
Judging solely by the atmosphere, I assumed the conversation went something like: "Hey, are you mocking me, you punk?" "Which of us is the punk? I'll kill you." "Go ahead and try." "Then drop dead." It felt like we were seconds away from a life-or-death battle.
Naturally, my interpretation was completely wrong. Once the dialogue finished, we found ourselves in a luxurious tea room, sipping tea.
The Kurokuro-san had prepared everything. They even provided for the Fire Monsters. Thank you very much.
"Man, I haven't had that much fun in ages!"
The Master was in high spirits as he offered us tea snacks. He was speaking normally now, which was a relief. I really wish he’d done that from the start. Oh, these snacks are delicious. They weren't just sweet; they had a refined, elegant flavor that paired perfectly with the tea.
As we chatted over our tea, I learned from the Master and Urza-san that their strange exchange wasn't "Demon Kingdom culture," but specifically "Vampire culture." The Master said he’d been influenced by Roberto and took it up as a hobby. I wondered where Urza-san had picked it up. She had the face of someone who’d rather not have this particular skill set, though.
Urza-san abruptly changed the subject. I decided not to press her on it.
The Master’s name was Gienel. After he introduced himself properly, he explained the situation. This place was an ancient castle that had been swallowed by the earth. He wanted to keep its location a secret, so as long as we promised not to tell anyone, he was willing to let us go home.
...I thought that was a rather long conversation back there, but was that really the only point of it? Also, if he’d just said that at the beginning, we wouldn't have had to wander aimlessly through the labyrinth—I mean, the castle.
"What was that Teleportation Trap that brought us here?" Urza-san asked.
"I think it was a gate for entering and exiting the castle. I thought I’d disabled most of them, but I don't have a perfect grasp on all of them yet. My apologies. I’ll look into it and shut it down properly."
"Please do. Also, what about the traps that moved us around inside the castle?"
"Those are the defense systems that were originally built into this place. Like I said, this is an old castle."
Apparently, it dated back one or two thousand years. I see—the age of magic. I’d heard that teleportation magic was a part of daily life back then. It’s a rare sight these days, though.
"Isn't it inconvenient to live with?"
"I don't actually know how to stop them. Besides, there are shortcuts, so it isn't that bad."
I wondered if the path to the outhouse was one of those shortcuts.
"Well, if the resident says it’s fine, then I suppose it is. Has anyone else come here besides us?"
"No. You’re the first guests in a hundred years."
"I see. In that case, we won't tell anyone about this place. Can we go now? People are probably worried."
"Yes, it’s best not to keep them waiting. I’m sad to see you go so soon, but I won't hold you back. Though it seems Roberto and his crew would prefer you stay."
The vampire looked genuinely disappointed. He muttered something about how it would be fine if we stayed for just fifty years or so, but our senses of time were too far apart to even consider it.
Oh, and the Fire Monsters... it seemed they were going to follow Urza-san. Well then, let's head home together.
...Wait, Master. Why are these monsters so attached to Urza-san?
"I'm not entirely sure. The teleportation magic that summons monsters was another defense system, but as for the summoning conditions... Roberto, did you tinker with it?"
"Ah, yes, I did. I used the Hero Queen's Relics."
"Relics?! Hey! Don't tell me you took them from my collection! Those are worth a fortune!"
"I only set them up as catalysts, Master. I didn't chip or consume them."
"That’s not the point! There was no need to use those, was there?"
"I disagree. I have heard that this castle has a deep connection to the Hero Queen. If so, using them was the most aesthetically pleasing choice."
"Ngh..."
"However, when I tested the summons, only weak monsters appeared. I should investigate that further."
When we asked the Fire Monsters, they said they’d just been living peaceful lives in various regions when they were suddenly teleported here. That was certainly a stroke of bad luck.
...Oh? Urza-san, what's wrong? Her face paled after hearing the Ice Monster's story. Was there a chance the Ice Monster had caused trouble near Urza-san's house before it was caught in the trap?
That won't do. Ice Monster, you’ll have to go and apologize later. I’m sure Urza-san will put in a good word for you. Urza-san, don't just stand there saying we need to "verify the situation" first!
Anyway, I shouldn't keep chatting while we’re trying to leave. Urza-san, let's head back.
Wait, the Master is going to guide us all the way to the exit? Thank you very much.