In a spacious kitchen within the Ducal House of Albert, a setting befitting a high-ranking noble, Lilia and Sieglinde were hard at work.
With Valentine’s Day arriving tomorrow, Lilia was determined to give handmade chocolates to her lover, Kaito.
While Lilia was hailed as a genius throughout the Kingdom of Sinfonia—and indeed, the entire Human Realm—she had one profound weakness: she was utterly hopeless in the kitchen.
Ever since a disastrous attempt during a trip with Kaito, she had been taking occasional cooking lessons from her close friend, Sieg. However, she had shown very few signs of improvement.
"For now, processing the beans would be far too difficult for you, Lili, so I’ve prepared the chocolate base myself," Sieglinde said.
"T-Thank you. That’s a huge help."
"Right. First, we need to break this chocolate into pieces so we can melt it in a double boiler."
"Yes!"
Lilia nodded, her expression stiff with resolve. Following Sieg's instructions, she proceeded to pulverize the chocolate with a thunderous crash.
"……Ah."
"Lili," Sieglinde said, her voice flat. "Who told you to crush the cutting board along with the chocolate? And please, deactivate your Physical Enhancement Magic immediately."
"Ugh, I’m so sorry."
"Regardless, you are to follow my instructions to the letter today. Is that clear?"
"I-I understand."
"Good. Then, first things first... please take the ingredients you brought and return them to where they came from. Immediately."
"……Eh?"
Sieglinde was painfully aware of Lilia’s lack of culinary talent. She understood the sheer absence of sense her friend possessed. Thus, her first order of business was to clear away the items Lilia had smuggled into the kitchen.
"I’ve provided everything we need. Please put those away."
"……B-But……"
"Lili, we are making chocolate. What on earth did you plan to do with fish and meat?"
"I thought they might work as... a personal touch……"
"Listen to me, Lili. Today, personal touches are strictly forbidden."
"What? But then it won’t have any individuality—"
"Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?"
"Yes! U-Understood!!"
Sieg projected a staggering aura of intimidation as she hammered the point home. Lilia, who had somehow thought meat and fish belonged in chocolate, shrunk back.
There are several distinct categories of bad cooks. There is the type who refuses to follow a recipe, the type who simply has no sense of taste... and the type who insists on adding unnecessary arrangements. Lilia fell firmly into the latter category.
"I have no intention of letting Kaito-san eat hazardous materials," Sieg continued. "I will be giving you minute instructions throughout the entire process."
"I-I see…… By the way, Sieg, your ingredients look different from mine."
"Yes, I’m making Fondant au Chocolat. Kaito-san mentioned he liked it once before."
"Then maybe I should try that too—"
"Regrettably, Lili, I do not possess the teaching ability required to help you master a Fondant au Chocolat in a single day. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to settle for a standard chocolate bar."
No matter how skilled a cook Sieglinde was, she wasn't a miracle worker. Guiding Lilia—who was currently breaking kitchen equipment just by touching chocolate—through a complex recipe like Fondant au Chocolat was impossible. More importantly, if she tried, she would never have time to finish her own gift.
Sieg eventually managed to convince Lilia to stick to the basics. After a significant amount of time, the chocolate was finally finished. Sieg took a small bite to test the result, and her face immediately paled with horror.
"Lili…… I’m…… I’m actually afraid of you. How did you follow the recipe and still produce something that tastes this disastrous?"
"Could you maybe be a little more encouraging!?"
"But all you did was melt it and let it harden! How did it come to this? Lili, did you use the correct measurements?"
The slightly lumpy chocolate Lilia had produced possessed a truly bizarre flavor, despite containing no special ingredients. Sieglinde asked the question while fighting the urge to give up entirely.
Lilia nodded solemnly and offered a response that made Sieg’s head throb.
"Yes, of course. Well, I realized I’d accidentally added too much sugar, but I neutralized it with salt, so it should be fine."
"……"
"Eh? Sieg? Why are you making that terrifying face……?"
Sieg felt a vein pulse in her forehead as she listened to Lilia explain the kind of cooking logic that only the truly hopeless could invent. Lilia, however, remained genuinely confused, shrinking away from her friend's sudden, sharp gaze.
"Sigh…… Lili, we’re starting over. And for the record, salt does not neutralize sugar."
"I-Is that so!? Then what should I have added to neutralize it?"
"My head is starting to hurt. Please, just stop trying to neutralize things……"
Rubbing her temples, Sieglinde prepared a fresh set of ingredients. This time, she watched Lilia’s every move with hawk-like intensity.
"Let’s see, the cream…… for this amount…… maybe about three tilts of the carton should do it……"
"Use the measuring cup!!"
"Hyeep!?"
Sieg barked the order the moment Lilia tried to eyeball the measurements, forcing her to do it properly before continuing.
"Right, time to heat it. For Fire Magic…… maybe a Crimson Flare would work……"
"Use the Heating Magic Tool! That’s what it’s for!!"
"Y-Y-Yes, ma’am!?"
Sieglinde frantically shoved the proper kitchen tool toward Lilia, who had been seconds away from using high-level offensive magic to warm up the cream.
"……Mix it without letting air in? How do I…… I know! If I stir it at high speeds, the air won't have time to get in!"
"Stir it slowly and gently. Gently……"
"O-Oh, I see……"
Sieglinde continued to teach with saint-like patience, despite Lilia's constant, baffling blunders that made her wonder if this was all some elaborate prank.
After several more failures, Lilia’s chocolate finally turned out with a respectable flavor.
"There. This will do. We’ve finally finished it."
"I-I’m so sorry for being such a bother."
"All that’s left is the decoration. I’ve prepared some white chocolate cream, so draw whatever pattern you like on top."
"I understand!"
Relieved that Lilia’s portion was finally under control, Sieglinde let out a long sigh and hurried to finish her own gift, which was now significantly behind schedule.
As she worked with practiced efficiency, she heard Lilia declare she was finished and turned to look.
"……Lili, what is this? Is it…… a frog?"
"What? No, it’s a dragon."
"……I see……"
Apparently, the Duchess hailed as a genius was not only lacking in culinary talent, but was also completely devoid of any artistic sense.