Alice spoke, and before I could even process her words, she hurried on with her story. It was as if she didn't want me to linger on her last statement quite yet.
"I mentioned this a little before, didn't I? In the world I came from, the name Shaltier meant 'A Fragment of Illusion.'"
"An illusion..."
"Yes. My heart was shattered, and I was no longer anyone. All that remained of me was a wish that had gone unfulfilled for countless years. That illusion was my only reason for living."
"I see."
A fragment of illusion... I could only imagine the staggering amount of time Alice had spent before arriving in this world. To her, the hope of fulfilling her best friend’s wish must have felt like a distant, unreachable dream—a true illusion.
"When I first arrived in this world, I had such high expectations. Starting with Kuro-san, there are so many immortal beings here. I truly thought that here, I might finally be able to fulfill her final wish."
"But you haven't been able to, until now?"
"No. Looking back, it makes sense. I was so obsessed with fulfilling her wish that I was trying to force myself to fall in love. I realize now that love isn't something you can find with that kind of mindset."
Alice gave a self-deprecating smile and took a sip of her tea, which had long since gone cold.
"Eventually, they started calling me the Phantasm King No Face... the Faceless King. It was fitting, really. Ever since I lost everyone, I’ve been empty inside. I drifted through life changing my form, working from the shadows, playing whatever 'character' I needed to be. I was an existence with no fixed shape."
"Alice..."
"To tell you the truth, this person you know as 'Alice' was meant to vanish after I kidnapped you."
"What?"
She looked me straight in the eye. Her blue gaze was so steady and honest that I knew she wasn't lying. Alice was supposed to disappear after the kidnapping? What did that even mean?
Seeing me tilt my head in confusion, Alice gave a wry, bittersweet smile.
"I didn't approach you because I wanted to fall in love. I contacted you to evaluate your character—partly as a favor to Kuro-san. Perhaps it worked out because I wasn't overthinking things? Good job, past me!"
"U-Uhh..."
"Jokes aside... I intended for our relationship to be much shallower. I certainly never planned on traveling to the Arclesia Empire with you."
"So your plans changed?"
"It was more of an unexpected turn of events. And for that, I owe you an apology. I'm so sorry, Kaito-san."
"Wait, why are you apologizing all of a sudden?"
She bowed her head deeply. I sat there, bewildered, unable to fathom what she could possibly be apologizing for. After a long moment, she slowly looked up and explained.
"It was during our second meeting, I think. When you scolded me... you looked exactly like my best friend."
"The friend you mentioned earlier?"
"Yes. Doing something stupid and getting yelled at by her was just our normal routine. She’d finish being angry, and then she’d give me this exasperated smile. It was a warm, weary look that seemed to say I was a hopeless case... and I loved it."
"..."
"When you sighed and gave me that same wry smile after finishing your lecture, it was so similar to hers. It felt like I’d gone back to those old days. It made me so happy."
Her expression drifted off as she reminisced, but then it shifted into a look of deep unease. Her eyes darted around as she struggled to find the right words, her face eventually casting downward.
"I was projecting her onto you. I’d act like an idiot just so you’d scold me... I was using you as a replacement for her."
"I see."
"B-But it's different now! I don't see you as a substitute for her at all!"
"I know. You don't have to panic. It’s okay."
"Oh..."
Seeing my calm reaction, Alice seemed to deflate, her frantic explanation cut short. I wasn't particularly bothered by her confession; I was more focused on her earlier comment about "Alice" disappearing.
When I told her that, she let out a long sigh of relief and continued.
"Like I said, at first, I only stayed close to you because you reminded me of her. But the more we talked, the more that image began to blur—in a good way. I stopped seeing her in you and started realizing that I enjoyed being with you because you were you."
"..."
"But the 'Alice' character was still supposed to betray you and vanish. It was your Fourth Trial—a test to see if you would lose your ability to trust others after a betrayal. I had subordinates hidden nearby to make sure you didn't actually get hurt, of course. Once the trial was over, I was going to drop the act and serve you as No Face, a mere subordinate."
"But you saved me instead."
"Yes. That was my greatest miscalculation... and the most wonderful miracle of my life."
The wry smile Alice gave then was surprisingly gentle. It was full of trust, and it made my chest feel warm. It made me realize that this—this kind of connection—was exactly what she had been searching for all along.
"When I betrayed you as planned and said goodbye, you smiled at me. Even though you knew I’d turned on you, you just gave me that 'it can't be helped' look. In that moment, the overlap finally broke. You weren't a replacement for anyone. You were just you—someone unique and irreplaceable."
"..."
"Before I knew it, I was tearing down the door I had locked myself. I walked back onto the stage I’d walked off of. Not as Shaltier, and not as No Face, but as 'Alice'—the person who was supposed to disappear. From that moment on, Alice wasn't just a role I was playing. It became my new name."
The girl before me had transformed so many times—from a human girl to a hero, from a hero to a fragment of illusion, from an illusion to the Faceless King, and finally, from that king to the girl I knew as Alice.
Hearing her say that made me feel a profound sense of relief. I finally understood that the Alice standing before me wasn't a mask. She was herself.
"And so, I fell in love with you... but I'm pathetic. I suddenly became terrified."
"Terrified of what?"
"I was afraid that if you found out I’d been using you as a replacement, you’d hate me. Even more than that, I started to doubt myself. Did I really love you for who you are? Or was I just using you to fulfill my best friend's wish? I spent so much time wondering which of those feelings was real."
"..."
I understood now. At her core, Alice was still driven by the wish her friend had left her: to find love. She had been stuck in a loop, wondering if her love for me was genuine or just a byproduct of her obsession with that wish. That was why she always ran away whenever I tried to reciprocate her teasing.
"Then that God appeared, and for a moment, I thought you were going to die. I was gripped by a terror I can't even describe. I realized that if you died, I would never be able to stand up again. I would never smile again. That realization was so overwhelming that I’ve been acting strange ever since."
"..."
"I'm sorry for being so roundabout. I felt so guilty toward you. I was so scared that our happy relationship would change if the truth came out. I have a thousand excuses, but the truth is just that I was a coward. I couldn't bring myself to tell you who I really was."
Alice trailed off and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she looked straight at me, her voice steady as she reached the end.
"That's my whole story. You can think of me however you like now. I’ve steeled myself for whatever comes next. If you think I'm pathetic, or if you call me a monster, I'll accept it. If you hate me, I suppose it's only... Eh?"
I didn't even realize I’d moved until I was standing up, pulling her small body into a hug.
My head was still spinning from everything she’d told me. I didn't have the perfect words ready, and I knew I couldn't give her a clever answer. But even so, I had an overflowing desire to tell her something.
"Thank you, Alice. Thank you for telling me everything, even though it was hard."
"Kaito... san?"
"I might not be able to say it perfectly, but... could you stay like this for a little longer and listen to me?"
"Yes... for as long as you want. To be honest, I think I'm about to cry..."
Dear Mother, Father—I listened to the pain and the burden Alice had carried in her heart for so long. I didn't need flowery words to answer her. What mattered most was the feeling swelling inside me—the simple, honest desire to accept everything she is.