It was the twenty-fifth day of the Month of Wind. I sat at the desk in my room, drafting a reply to a letter I had received from Noin-san.
While Anima handled the bulk of my correspondence, she only filtered out the letters from people I didn't know personally. Messages from friends like Noin-san and Chris-san were delivered directly to me.
Noin-san, in particular, was quite the diligent writer; we exchanged letters with surprising frequency. The contents were usually lighthearted and casual—this time, she had written in her elegant script about how Raz-san had been in wonderful spirits lately and described some of the seasonal dishes they had enjoyed.
As I reread her letter and worked on my response, a knock sounded at the door before Eta and Theta entered.
"Master. We have come to collect your laundry."
"Thanks. The clothes are over there..."
These red-haired twin Demons had once served under Megiddo-san, but now they worked tirelessly as maids in this mansion. Despite being twins, their personalities and specialties were distinct, and they split the household chores accordingly.
Eta, who kept her long hair tied back in a ponytail, was the picture of a serious, capable professional with a knight-like demeanor. She handled the cleaning and laundry, meaning she was the one responsible for keeping my daily wardrobe fresh.
"Master, I have brought your tea... sir."
"Thank you, Theta."
Theta was slightly shorter than her sister and kept her hair cut in a neat bob. She was quiet and composed, though she seemed to struggle with formal speech, often trailing her sentences with a rhythmic, polite beat after a short pause. She focused primarily on the kitchen, and I always appreciated her knack for bringing me tea and snacks at the perfect moment.
As I watched the two of them, who had settled so naturally into life here, my mind drifted back to my outing with Anima yesterday. It occurred to me that I might simply be unaware of how hard Eta and Theta were pushing themselves. I had just resolved to be more attentive to the well-being of those around me, so since they were both here, I decided to check in.
"...Come to think of it, how has work been lately? Are you two running into any trouble?"
"Thank you for your concern, Master. I have encountered no issues whatsoever," Eta replied.
"I am also... doing fine," Theta added.
"I see. But you’re both still training on top of your mansion duties, right? Just make sure you aren't overdoing it."
Looking at them, I didn't sense the same desperate anxiety I had seen in Anima. They had originally insisted on serving me as maids rather than guards, and because they were both so level-headed, they seemed to be balancing their responsibilities well.
"Understood! Your kindness is appreciated. However, to ensure I can protect you in your hour of need, Master, I will continue to hone my martial prowess," Eta said, her posture straightening with a look of quiet pride.
But just as I felt relieved that they seemed okay, a low murmur reached my ears.
"...When the time comes, I am the one who will protect Master... Guarding is impossible for Eta."
"...What was that, Theta?" Eta’s voice dropped an octave.
"...Eta is a muscle-brain... You should just swing your spear and charge the enemy... I will be the one to keep Master safe."
"Ho? Brave words for a gloomy shut-in whose only talent is hiding behind a shield... Do you truly believe you can protect Master by simply huddling like a turtle?"
"Wait, you two—?"
Theta’s muttered comment had clearly struck a nerve. Eta’s brow twitched, and as they traded barbs, the air between them grew sharp and heavy with tension.
"...A single-celled organism that does nothing but hop about like a monkey wouldn't understand the importance of defense."
"And you clearly haven't heard the saying that offense is the greatest defense. Though I doubt a sluggish tortoise like yourself could ever put such a philosophy into practice."
"..."
"..."
I could have sworn I saw literal sparks fly between them. Their eyes went cold and fixed, and seemingly out of thin air, they produced a Great Spear and a Great Shield.
"...Step outside, Theta. I’ll pierce that rotten attitude of yours until you learn to respect your older sister."
"...Don't act like a big sister just because you were born a few minutes earlier... Fine by me... I'll swat you down like a common gnat."
"Hey! Listen to me!"
Ignoring my protests entirely, they exchanged one last icy glare and marched out of the room. I was left speechless. Did they actually hate each other? No, maybe it was because they were so close that they felt comfortable clashing like this. Either way, this had turned into a mess. And since the root of the argument was about who could protect me better, it felt incredibly awkward for me to intervene.
"Honestly, Kaito-san has me, and I can handle both offense and defense on my own, so it's not really an issue anyway~"
"...Wait, why are you eating my cookies as if you live here?"
"Call it poison testing! It would be a tragedy if anything happened to you, Kaito-san. Hmm, crunchy and buttery... these are dangerous. For safety reasons, I should eat them all—ow!?"
After a brief, ridiculous exchange with Alice, I headed outside, worried about the twins. I found them almost immediately.
As for how their battle ended... well, it seemed there was no victor. I knew this because both of them were currently kneeling formally on the grass, side-by-side, with massive, identical bumps swelling on their heads.
"Honestly! What were you two thinking?!" Anima stood before them, her arms crossed and her voice vibrating with fury. "Abandoning your duties to hold a duel? Have you no shame?! Realize that such behavior brings disgrace upon our Master's name!"
"W-We are deeply sorry," Eta stammered.
"...My apologies," Theta whispered.
Anima continued to lecture them with terrifying intensity. I could see where the lawn had been gouged out—they must have traded a few heavy blows before Anima caught them and delivered a pair of swift disciplinary strikes.
"If you wish to test your strength, do it at the training grounds! Damaging the mansion garden is unacceptable! You two lack the proper awareness required of Master's attendants!"
"Ugh... Yes, ma'am."
"I have no excuse... sir."
Watching her, I realized Anima had truly grown into her role as the Attendant Captain. Perhaps yesterday’s events had finally allowed her to find her footing, because she looked incredibly reliable.
Still, it looked like this lecture was going to last for hours. While they were definitely in the wrong, knowing they had fought over me made me feel a bit responsible. I decided to throw them a lifeline.
"Anima, maybe that's enough for now? Can you let them off the hook?"
"M-Master?!"
"I'm sure they've both learned their lesson."
"I... If that is your wish, Master..."
When I spoke up, Anima backed down immediately. I felt it was my responsibility to step in; after all, I was technically the master of all three of them. I couldn't just leave everything to Anima; I had to give them a proper warning myself.
"Eta, Theta."
"Yes, sir!" they replied in unison.
"I’m honestly happy that you both want to protect me so much. The truth is, I’m weak and there are more things I can’t do than things I can, so I know I’ll be relying on you both in the future. But you can't go around fighting like this."
I knew they were actually quite close, as they were almost always together.
"Both of you have different strengths. Eta has her qualities, and Theta has hers. I want you to respect each other's roles."
"...Yes. Eta... I'm sorry. I think I was just jealous of how bright and strong you are."
"No, I should be the one to apologize. I want to take back what I said earlier. I understand your strength better than anyone. Let’s continue to protect Master together."
"Yes."
The two of them truly did care for each other. They each admitted their faults, apologized, and reconciled with a firm handshake.
And with that, the matter was settled peace—
"As I was saying, I'm really all you need anyway—waugh!?"
"You. Come with me for a second."
"Huh? Wait, Kaito-san, your eyes are terrifying—gyaaah!"
Dear Mother, Father—Eta and Theta might be twins, but they are unique individuals, and both have become indispensable to me. Regardless, now that the nuisance who only exists to mock the situation has been dealt with, I can say it again—the matter has been settled peacefully.