Between the bathroom mishap and the mess Lunamaria-san had stirred up, Lilia-san and I were trapped in a stiflingly awkward silence.
She hadn't gone so far as to lock herself away in her room, but she was curled up at the edge of the living room, hiding her face in her hands. I hadn't a clue how to even begin talking to her.
I could easily imagine what she was feeling. Lilia-san had summoned every shred of her courage to suggest mixed bathing, hoping to become a couple with me in the truest sense—only to realize it was all based on a misunderstanding. Or rather, a lie planted by the Source of All Evil. Now, she was likely paralyzed by a shame so profound she didn't know what to do with herself.
It would have been better if the realization had hit before things went too far. A bit of damage control would have shifted her focus, and her fury would have simply reduced Lunamaria-san to ash. However, Lilia-san had suffered a critical fainting spell right at the worst moment. I had seen her completely naked, and now she was enduring a level of mortification that made her want to crawl into a hole and die.
Because of that, her embarrassment at having been seen naked far outweighed her anger at the maid who gave her the misinformation. She just sat there, her face buried, a blush so deep it stained even her ears.
It might have been easier if she had just called me a pervert or blamed me for the situation, but Lilia-san understood that what happened was unavoidable. She wasn't the type to lash out at others to vent her own frustrations, which meant her emotions were simply trapped inside with nowhere to go.
"U-Um... Lilia-san?"
"Eep?! W-Wha-Wha-Wha-What is it?!"
We weren't going to get anywhere at this rate, so I tried to find an opening to start a conversation. Lilia-san practically jumped out of her skin, her voice trembling as she answered, though she still refused to look at me.
"Well, er... even if it was out of our control, I'm really sorry. If I had thought it through more, maybe I could have handled it better... This whole thing is my responsibility."
"N-No, it isn't! Kaito-san, you didn't do anything wrong! In the end, it was because I took Luna’s words at face value... and did something so... so... scandalous..."
She still wouldn't turn around, but her shoulders were shaking. I felt as though she was afraid of something. Judging by the atmosphere, she wasn't afraid of me. If that was the case, then what was it?
"Do you... do you hate me now?"
"Eh? For what?"
"For being... so sheltered... and pathetic... such a hopeless woman..."
"..."
Hearing those words spoken in such a small, fearful voice, I finally understood what she was truly afraid of. Due to past events that bordered on trauma, Lilia-san had a tendency to be terrified of being disliked or seen as a burden. Her strong sense of responsibility only made it worse, leading her to believe that if things went wrong, it was because she was a failure.
To Lilia-san, I was her very first lover—someone who held a place deeper in her heart than a mere friend. That was exactly why she was so desperate not to be hated. She wanted to be a proper partner, which was why she had forced herself to try mixed bathing. Now, she was likely trembling with the fear that I would be disillusioned by her gullibility.
Realizing the heartbreaking sincerity behind her actions made my own heart feel lighter, and my thoughts finally cleared. Once I understood what I needed to do, I acted immediately. I slowly approached Lilia-san and embraced her from behind as she sat there.
"Hyaaah?! K-Ka-Ka-Kaito-san?! What on earth are you—"
"That’s my line. What are you even talking about? There’s no way I’d ever hate you over something like this, Lilia-san."
"...Eh?"
The most important thing I could do for her right now was to provide reassurance. I still didn't quite know the "right" way for a lover to behave, but I intended to at least have enough backbone to hold her while she was shaking.
"The fact that you thought so much about me and summoned your courage... that makes me truly happy. But you don't need to be in such a rush, okay?"
"Kaito... -san?"
When it came to romance, Lilia-san was a total amateur. Normally, we would have needed to take things slowly, dismantling the walls around her heart one step at a time. But out of impatience and fear, she had tried to leap over them and stumbled. What she needed now was a sense of security and the best show of support I could offer.
"I’m not going anywhere. I won’t rush you, either. I’ll wait as long as it takes... It’s okay to take things bit by bit."
"..."
"I don't really know what's normal for other couples, but I think we should go at our own pace."
"...Yes."
As I spoke as gently and calmly as I could, the tension gradually began to leave her body.
"You don't need to scramble and shoulder everything alone. We're a couple, so let’s think about things together and figure it out as we go."
"Kaito-san..."
"Our own pace is fine. Let's just build up memories one by one... and get closer to each other, one step at a time. Okay?"
"Yes..."
Lilia-san finally took her hands away from her face and gently rested them over mine, which were still wrapped around her.
"Kaito-san, are you really sure? I’m a coward, so it might take a very long time. I’m sure I’ll make you wait quite a while."
"Of course I’m sure. That’s just part of who you are. I fell in love with you, after all... Waiting for you isn't a burden at all."
I answered her question firmly and clearly. Her grip on my arms tightened slightly. After a long silence, she whispered.
"I really am a lucky woman."
"You think so?"
"Yes... because for someone as spineless as me, there is a wonderful man who tells me I don't need to rush and that he’ll wait forever... and that man is my lover."
"Lilia-san..."
She sounded so genuinely happy that it made me feel warm and peaceful just listening to her. Then, Lilia-san intertwined her fingers with mine, holding my hand in a lover's hand-holding style, and continued with unwavering affection.
"I'm sure it will take time. But I’ll do my best too... so that I can hold my head high and say that I’m Kaito-san’s lover."
"Yeah. I feel the same way."
"Thank you... One day, when I finally have confidence in myself... when I have the courage to stand right by your side... at that time... will you... take all of me?"
"I will. With pleasure."
Dear Mother, Father—the ground hardens after the rain... or something like that. Thanks to the mishap, I feel like I've learned another side of Lilia-san. Since everything is new to both of us, it might be hard to always stay in sync, but I know we'll be okay. From here on out, we don't need to rush. We can go at our own pace and just keep building up memories like this.
Serious-senpai: "Why the hell are you guys being even more lovey-dovey than usual just because it's Christmas Eve in the real world?!"