I explained Crowden's situation to the Ramen Queen, only for her to give me a look of pure bewilderment.
"Even if he learns how to make the ramen he craves, it won’t do him any good once he returns home," she said. "The ingredients simply aren’t available there."
...Wait, what? Really? As if sensing my doubt, she turned to Crowden.
"The ingredients here—could you actually source them in your country?"
She pointed toward the various items I’d prepared specifically to recreate the bowl Crowden wanted.
...Crowden’s face went pale with despair. I took that as a "no." That was my mistake. Securing a supply chain is the most basic of the basics. I’d been careless. But if he couldn't get the ingredients, what were we supposed to do?
"Leave it to me," the Ramen Queen said, her face lit with a confident smile.
Three days later. In a corner at the foot of Village Five, the Ramen Queen and Crowden sat cross-legged, eyes closed in deep meditation.
I didn't realize the culture of zazen existed in this world. As I stood there marveling at the sight, the two of them opened their eyes in perfect unison. Then, the Ramen Queen stood up and took a stylized stance.
"Ramen is Heart!" she cried.
Crowden took a matching stance. "Ramen is Love!"
...The two of them remained frozen like that for a long moment. Just as I started to wonder what was going on, Crowden dropped to his knees.
"Kuh... I’m still far too green."
"Accepting one's own inadequacy is the first step toward mastery. You are doing well," she replied.
"Master..."
"Now, let us partake."
"Yes, ma'am!"
I didn't understand. I didn't understand a single thing, except for the fact that the Ramen Queen had effectively usurped my title of "Master."
"Oh, Grandmaster, would you care to join us?"
Wait, I was wrong. Somewhere along the line, I’d been promoted to "Grandmaster." Was that supposed to be a good thing? Regardless, while I appreciated the offer, I really didn't want any more ramen. I’d eaten nothing but ramen for days on end. I wanted something—anything—else.
Did I say something so strange it deserved those looks? Apparently, the Ramen Queen was teaching Crowden how to manifest ramen within his own heart. Right, okay. Even after she explained it to me five times, I still didn't get it.
"The Grandmaster is already one with ramen, so perhaps he perceives it from a different height altogether?"
"I see. As expected of him."
What exactly was "as expected"? No, I decided not to press the issue. I had a feeling that pursuing it would only drag me into something bizarre. And for the record, please stop worshipping me. Don't start a new religion, either. Put that sign away. Look, people are already starting to gather! I mean, why would you want to join a religion where the primary doctrine is "thou shalt eat ramen once a day"? That sounds like a physical ordeal.
I tried to drive the potential converts away, but a few of them managed to convince the Ramen Queen with their sheer fervor and were allowed to study alongside Crowden.
...This has nothing to do with me, right? At this point, wouldn't it be better if she just became the Founder?
"Since you are the one who birthed ramen, you are its god."
No, I didn't birth it. I just recreated a dish from my home— It was no use. She wouldn't listen. Whatever. Let's just put the religious stuff aside. The important thing was Crowden. If he could truly manifest ramen within his heart like she said, would he finally go home?
"Since ramen will always reside within his heart, he will be able to endure long periods without eating it," the Ramen Queen explained.
"Yes! I can already handle the lack of that Large-portion Ramen!" Crowden added. "Now it’s just a matter of the distance... I wonder if I can bear being so far from the shop..."
"When ramen is in your heart, distance is equivalent to nothingness."
"I will continue my devotion!"
I didn't quite follow the logic, but I decided to trust them. So, Beezel, can I have just a little more time? They promised that once the "Ramen of the Heart" was complete, he’d go home. I think waiting a bit longer is the right move. "You'll wrap it up in five days?" I decided to put my faith in the Ramen Queen’s reassuring words.
Five days later. The Ramen Queen, Crowden, Beezel, and I stood at the port in Shashato City.
"Master, Grandmaster... thank you for everything."
"Whenever the urge becomes unbearable, meditate," the queen advised. "Ramen is always with you."
"Yes!"
Two days ago, Crowden had successfully managed to go an entire twenty-four hours without eating ramen. Then, yesterday, he’d indulged in a "ramen triple-header" for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Perhaps because of that, his expression was remarkably serene.
"When I return to my country, I will urge my father to strengthen trade with the Demon Kingdom. When that happens, may I use my Master’s name?"
"I lack the standing for international trade," she replied. "Perhaps the Grandmaster can assist?"
Don't look at me. When I turned to Beezel, he let out a sigh and handed Crowden a wooden tag.
"This lists the name and location of a company I am involved with. If you mention the name of the Chrome family there, they will listen to you. We should decide on a passphrase to prevent any misuse."
"How about 'Ramen'?" Crowden suggested.
"Ideally, something a bit less common," Beezel countered.
"How about 'Extra Large Vegetable Topping'?"
"I don't really understand, but that’s still ramen-related, isn't it? Can we step away from ramen for just a moment?"
"Step away from ramen..."
Crowden fell into a long, pensive silence. I asked Beezel if a ramen-related phrase was really that bad.
"It’s not that it's forbidden, but it needs to be longer. A single word or common phrase might be used accidentally."
That made sense. In that case, what if we used the alias Crowden had been using? I offered a suggestion, and they adopted it immediately.
"The passphrase is: 'A Bowl of Large-portion Ramen for Kurattan.' I have it. I will never forget it."
With those parting words, Crowden boarded his ship. It would have been faster if Beezel had sent him via teleportation magic, but the Demon King had strictly forbidden it. He didn't want to show off the strategic utility of teleportation to a foreign power. It was a fair point—displaying too much power would only make them wary. At worst, if a kidnapping occurred over there, Beezel might get blamed for it. Not sending him was the right call.
Once we confirmed the ship had left the port, the ordeal was finally over. I felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
"Grandmaster. You seem relieved, but I suspect Crowden will be back in about six months."
Wait, what?
"His training was brief," the Ramen Queen said. "The Ramen of the Heart can only sustain a person for half a year at most."
Factoring in the travel time... I wonder if Crowden can even manage three months in his own country?
"Also, this is the 'nuisance fee' from Crowden."
The Ramen Queen handed me a bundle of parchment. What was this?
"It's a list of all the spies Crowden identified lurking in Village Five and Shashato City. I hope you find it useful."
...I tried to hand the bundle to Beezel, but he refused to touch it. He said he smelled trouble. What a coincidence. So did I.
"Village Head. Give that to the Civil Official Girls back at the village. They should be the ones managing that kind of information."
Is that so? Now that he mentioned it, I felt like we’d discussed something like that before.
"I would prefer to receive the report indirectly from the girls later," Beezel added.
Fair enough. Regardless, I was exhausted, so I decided to head home. The Ramen Queen had been a huge help. I promised her that I’d let her know the next time I was running the ramen stall as a reward.
"Thank you very much. Please, call on me again if you ever have any more ramen-related troubles."
I returned to the village and took it easy. The harvest was still a little way off. If it hadn't been, I probably wouldn't have been able to get so involved with Crowden’s mess. After eating nothing but ramen for so long, I really wanted something different. I know. I'll have pizza.
"Fairy Queen, I know you want dessert pizza, but stop putting whipped cream on the dough before it's baked."
I mean, baked cream wasn't necessarily bad, but I had a feeling it wasn't going to turn out the way she expected.