I was born from half of the Creator God, Shallow Vernal—the other half of Shiro.
An existence that was Shiro, yet also not Shiro... there was something I had desired from the very moment of my birth.
It wasn't anything particularly special. It was something so simple that I assumed I would obtain it easily.
When I met Ein, Liliwood, Magnawell, Isis, Megiddo, and Shaltier, I believed I had finally found it. I was truly happy... and yet, somewhere deep inside, I felt that it wasn't quite what I had been searching for.
Perhaps I was asking for too much, or perhaps I simply needed to compromise. Regardless, the tiny thorn lodged in my heart only grew larger with every passing day.
I had lived alongside this world, and I truly loved it.
The lives that blossomed here, the scenery they showed me, and the way they gradually matured and changed... I found it all so incredibly precious.
I wondered when it began? The era when we started being called the Six Kings within the Demon Realm... without my even noticing, the title had taken root and spread. Everyone began to address me as the Underworld King.
I hated it more than I could say.
Every time someone called me that, it felt like they were reminding me that I was a superior existence. A small pang of pain would tighten my chest, making it difficult to breathe.
And then, I finally realized my true desire.
I loved the world. I never once considered anyone beneath me; I believed we were all equal and treated everyone as such.
However... no one viewed me as an equal in return. No one would stand beside me.
I had a precious family, but they treated me as their pinnacle. I had beloved fledglings, but in the end, they would all bow their heads to me.
Why? For what reason? I only wanted someone to stay by my side. They didn't need to possess power like mine. If they simply wouldn't look at me as a superior—if they would just laugh with me as a peer—that would have been enough.
I wanted someone to interact with as an equal. I wanted a partner to stand beside me. Once I became conscious of that wish, the world became more painful than it had ever been.
Shiro was... different. Shiro was me, and I was Shiro; I could never see her as that kind of partner.
The first person to notice my quiet distress was Shaltier.
"Kuro-san, I think I have some idea of what's bothering you," she said.
"Shaltier... That’s right. If it’s you..."
"I'm sorry. It's impossible. I can't be the person you're looking for."
"But... why?"
Shaltier was a strange girl. She had come from another world, and despite her mature spirit, she was initially unable to handle her own power properly. I taught her how to use it, and we became family.
"It’s likely because I possess power myself," Shaltier explained. "In my heart, I've already recognized you as a superior. I can't imagine ever being your equal."
"But I don't feel that way at all..."
"Even if you don't, the fact remains that I see myself as beneath you, Kuro-san. That recognition won't go away. Sure, I could put on a front and act however I wanted on the surface, but if I did that... you'd only end up more hurt than you are now."
Her words pierced my heart like ice.
I knew Shaltier didn't mean to be cruel. She spoke out of genuine concern for me. But it felt as if she were telling me that no one would ever be able to interact with me as a true equal. It felt like a declaration that no one would ever appear who could stand beside me without being overwhelmed by my power.
Even so, I tried to tell myself it was fine. I had a wonderful family, and my days were filled with happiness. There was no need to wish for more. If I could just be satisfied with what I had...
Long, truly long years passed, and the number of people around me grew larger than ever. Precious family, beloved fledglings... it should have been enough, yet I couldn't cast my wish aside.
Whenever I found a fledgling who resembled my former self, the hope that "this time might be different" would reflexively surface. I thought that if I raised someone like my old self, they might stand beside me. But that hope never bore fruit.
Even though I was surrounded by beloved children, and even though I should have been happy, I often felt a cold, harrowing sensation—as if no one were truly there with me. The more children I took in, and the harder I tried to convince myself I was happy, the more that chill froze the depths of my soul.
And then, one of my beloved fledglings stood before me, spreading dark wings.
She had seen the lonely expressions I occasionally wore and had interpreted them in the worst possible way.
"Chrome-sama, it is you who should stand at the pinnacle of the world! Not the gods of the God Realm—it should be you!"
"Fia... I..."
"It isn't Shallow Vernal who should rule! You are the one who truly belongs at the world's summit! I—we—will surely make you the World's Conqueror!"
"No... that's not it! That isn't what I want!"
The words she spoke were the furthest thing from my desire.
The World's Conqueror? If I became that, I knew I would never be able to fulfill my true wish.
Perhaps I had been bottling up my suffering without even realizing it. By the time I noticed, an incredible surge of magic power was overflowing from me. Many of the children present were knocked unconscious by the sheer pressure.
"Chrome... sama..."
"I'm sorry, Fia. But you mustn't. You can't cause trouble for the others, okay? You don't have to do anything like that."
"But... I... your obstacles... I didn't want any shadow over your face..."
"I'm sorry, but it's really nothing. It's not something for you to worry about, Fia."
I still look back on that day with regret. If I had honestly explained my wish—if I had properly told Fia that my desire was nothing like that—then she never would have called herself the Demon King and invaded the Human Realm.
After the incident with Fia, I decided to give up on my wish entirely. If my sadness caused people to misunderstand me like she had, then I would force myself to keep smiling.
It was fine. I loved this world, and that feeling was genuine. It didn't matter if no one stood beside me, as long as I had my beloved children around me.
That was what I told myself. I thought I had given up. I thought I had come to terms with it.
Then came the Hero Festival—the world's greatest celebration, held once every ten years to invite a Hero-role from Hikari-chan's hometown. Shortly after it began, my lingering regrets started to surface once more.
I liked the people in the Hero-role... I liked otherworlders, because they didn't know who I was.
When I approached them while hiding my identity, they spoke to me as an equal. Those words made me happier than anything else. In those moments, I felt truly blessed. But once those children grew accustomed to the world and learned my true identity—once they saw my power—they would invariably fall to their knees.
Because the time spent before that realization was so happy, the moment it ended was devastatingly painful.
As I repeated this cycle of fleeting happiness and crushing disappointment, my wish grew until I could no longer suppress it. I wanted to talk with the otherworlders longer. I wanted to hear more words spoken as peers. But those in the Hero-role were always busy; I could only have brief conversations while hiding my name.
In the end, the feelings I couldn't abandon drove me to act.
I tampered with the magic circle for the Hero Summoning so that multiple people would be summoned. I thought that if there were others besides the Hero, I would be able to spend more time with them.
I ended up causing trouble for Shaltier, and I promised myself that would be the end of it. I decided that this would be my final attempt, and after this, I would cast away my impossible dream. I poured my lingering desire into the magic and caused the Summoning Magic Circle to go out of control.
And then, I met you.
At first, I didn't think much of it. Even my decision to look after you was mostly for your own sake. But you were a truly unusual person.
Every previous Hero-role had, upon seeing even a fraction of my power, gradually become afraid of me. But you were different. You always welcomed me with the same unchanging warmth.
And then, you far exceeded my expectations. When I learned that Shiro—the other me—had taken an interest in you, I was stunned. Shiro had only ever been interested in Shaltier and Hikari-chan.
I thought that if you had won Shiro's interest—if you could remain composed even when facing her—then perhaps there was a chance. So, I decided to tell you the truth.
I acted as if I were fine, but in reality, I was terrified. I was scared that if you learned who I was, you would leave me. I was afraid that our happy, wonderful days together would vanish.
When I went to Lilia-chan's mansion, my heart felt like it was going to burst until you spoke to me. I was trembling, terrified that you might start using formal language or apologize for how you had treated me before.
"So, Kuro... you were the Underworld King all along..."
Hearing that slightly exasperated voice made me so happy I wanted to cry. Even after learning the truth, you still spoke to me as an equal. I was overjoyed.
There had never been anyone like you. Not a single person. No one had ever said, "It feels like that doesn't match your image at all" to my face.
I think it was then that my feelings for you truly deepened. Talking with you became more enjoyable than anything else, and seeing you smile made me feel like the happiest person in existence.
For the first time in my life, I fell in love.
But as my love for you grew, a heavy weight began to press down on my heart. Once the Hero Festival ended, you would return to your original world. You would disappear from my life.
I understood. You had people you cared about back home—your uncle and aunt who had raised you. If I truly cared for you, I had to let these feelings go. You belonged in your own world.
I had become far too good at lying to myself over the years. In truth, I was just afraid. I knew that if I let these feelings show, there would be no going back. I would reach a point where I couldn't live without you... and that terrified me.
I should have distanced myself the moment I realized that, but the time we spent together was so precious that I couldn't even manage that much.
And step by step, you steadily drew closer to me.
When you held out the Golden Fruit, my heart shook. I was so incredibly happy, but I knew that if I accepted it, I was committed.
So, I rejected you. I pushed you away with everything I had, even masking my feelings with genuine killing intent. I couldn't pull away from you myself, so I tried to make you leave me.
Of course, I never intended to actually hurt you. Since I understood your Sympathy Magic perfectly, I carefully increased my killing intent bit by bit, trying to plant fear in your heart.
But... you didn't leave.
"Kuro... thank you... for everything."
Even then, you wouldn't let go of me. You wouldn't let go of my heart.
And so, for the first time in my existence, I lost. I became certain that you were the person I had been searching for all these thousands of years.
I thanked Kaito-kun again for listening to my long story.
It was already late, so as Kaito-kun began preparing for bed, I only pretended to leave. I hid myself and waited. Once he had fallen asleep, I slipped back into his room and crawled into the blankets beside him.
I pressed close to him, feeling his warmth with my entire body. I closed my eyes, enveloped in a sense of absolute peace and comfort. I buried my face in his chest, holding on to my precious Kaito.
Kaito... I love you so much.
I won't ask what you'll do when the festival ends. It doesn't matter anymore. If you stay in this world, I'll be happy. But even if you choose to return home... I'm going with you.
Even if I have to leave behind the world I've loved for so long, I want to be the one standing by your side.