It was summer.
I had joined Inferno Wolf Corp as a mid-career hire.
I will skip the details of how I ended up being recruited, but suffice it to say, I was currently in a major bind.
Four women had proposed to me.
I understood that, on paper, this was an incredibly enviable position to be in. I understood that, and yet I continued to turn them all down.
"Hey, Newcomer. What exactly are you dissatisfied with? Not to sing their praises too loudly, but those four are some of the most highly regarded women in the entire company."
One of my seniors asked me this as we sat in the breakroom. It was rare for him to invite me here, and I figured this was exactly what he wanted to talk about. Well, it wasn't as if I was trying to keep it a secret.
The problem was that all four of them were "highly educated," "athletic polymaths," "model-tier beauties," and "daughters of prestigious families."
"What's there to complain about?" my senior pressed.
"For starters, all of them hold higher positions than I do."
"Is having a boss as a wife a dealbreaker?"
"It’s not that they’re bosses; it’s just that they’re so perfect it’s intimidating. If they had at least one domestic flaw—like not being able to cook—I might find them a bit more approachable. But apparently, their cooking, cleaning, and laundry skills are all flawless."
To top it off, they even spent their free time looking after the neighborhood children, meaning there were zero concerns about their parenting skills.
"I see. It’s true that those four are exceptionally talented. However, just about every single woman at Inferno Wolf Corp is like that."
"That’s exactly why, if possible, I’d prefer to find a wife from outside the company..."
"A mid-career hire looking for an outsider?"
"Is that a problem?"
"It’s not a 'problem' per se, but Inferno Wolf Corp is an insular, family-run business. If you marry outside the fold, your corporate standing will be incredibly weak."
"I don't care about standing or status."
"I see. If you’re really okay with that, then I’ll root for you."
"Senior..."
"So, if those four are no good, what exactly is your type?"
"It’s not really about a specific type... I just want someone ordinary."
"Ordinary?"
"Ordinary education, ordinary reflexes, an ordinary family... they don't even have to be beautiful. Ordinary is enough. Do you follow me?"
"......I follow you."
"Eh?"
"I understand all too well."
As he spoke, my senior began to tear up. He tried to continue, but his body suddenly froze. When I looked closer, I saw a finger pressed firmly against his side.
"Is a perfect wife like me not to your liking?"
It was my senior's wife.
"Hahaha! What are you talking about, honey? There's no way I'd ever complain about having such a talented wife."
My senior did a complete, shameless about-face. I didn't blame him, though. His wife was a beauty who could easily rival the four women hounding me... wait.
I’d seen her somewhere before.
"Ah... one of those four is your younger sister?"
So that was it.
"No, it’s not particularly a bother... I'm sorry, it actually is a bother. Yes, if you could please warn her as her older sister, I would appreciate it. Thank you so much. Ye-yes, my senior has been teaching me the ropes... though his constant bragging about his wife is a bit much. It’s true, I swear! Hahaha. Eh? To your house? Thank you. I’ll be sure to visit when it isn't an inconvenience. Yes, have a good evening."
I bowed to the back of my senior's wife as she walked away.
......
Phew. I was glad she was at least someone who would listen to reason.
"Sorry. You saved my skin there."
"Don't worry about it. I sensed your struggle immediately, Senior."
"I see. ......Well, it's not all bad, I suppose. Anyway... look. As thanks for the save, I’ll give it to you straight. It is impossible to escape those four."
"Where is this coming from all of a sudden?"
"Think about it. Do you really think those four are just going to sit back and watch while you look for a wife outside the company?"
"......"
"It’s impossible, right? Which means the real question is which one of the four you’re going to pick."
"I-is that really my only option?"
"Yeah. Look, as your future brother-in-law, I’d love to push for my sister, but don’t let that influence you. Your—"
"......Senior? What’s wrong? Senior!"
A needle was sticking out of my senior's neck. Was that... a tranquilizer?
I whipped my head around to scan the area. Kugh. I couldn't even sense a presence. But I knew. It was them. The fact that they resorted to things like this was exactly why I was so reluctant.
After hauling my senior to the infirmary, I thought about the situation while walking back to my desk. It was probably true that I couldn't escape them. If I had to make a massive concession and marry one of them...
No, I still couldn't do it.
"Why not?"
Standing before me was the wife of my boss's boss. Her name was Alice-san, if I recalled correctly. I had greeted her when I first started.
"What is the matter?"
"N-no, my apologies."
"So, why is it that you refuse to marry any of those four? I may be biased because they’re family, but I don’t think they’re bad catches at all."
"That may be so, but if I choose just one, won't I be resented by the other three?"
"......True. I can't guarantee they wouldn't harbor a grudge."
"Right? Besides, we haven't known each other long, but those four are close, aren't they? Choosing one would destroy their friendship. I just can't bring myself to make a choice like that..."
"So, you would rather choose the path of being resented by all four of them at once?"
"Yes."
"I’m glad to see you can make such a firm judgment. You truly are someone the Chairman recruited personally."
The Chairman. He was the head of Inferno Wolf Corp. He was also the President of Hiraku Shop, the center of the Great Tree Group that our company belonged to. I had only managed to join this company because the President himself had scouted me... but I hadn't realized that "a workplace with a family-like atmosphere" meant a workplace run entirely by one giant, literal family.
Well, the food in the cafeteria was incredible, so I had no regrets about joining. The grilled fish set was a literal godsend.
"However..." Alice-san continued.
"Yes?"
"I assume you've been told that finding an outside wife will be difficult?"
"Yes, my senior mentioned it."
"In that case, if you don't choose one of those four... you'll be single for the rest of your life. Are you okay with that?"
"I'm prepared for it. Long live bachelorhood. If being single makes it hard to stay at the headquarters, then please, feel free to transfer me to a branch office. I’ll even take a secondment."
"I understand your resolve. However, you were brought here by the Chairman himself. We can't simply ship you off to a branch. A secondment is also out of the question. For now, you’ll be staying here at the main office."
"I see..."
"Yes. But it will be a problem for the business if those four continue to hound you and disrupt your work. So, why don't you set a condition for them?"
"A condition?"
"Yes. Announce that you’ve set an impossible condition, and that you’ll marry whoever manages to clear it. If you do that, they’ll stop hounding you constantly. Their focus will shift from you to the condition itself."
"I-I see... That’s brilliant."
"Just be careful with the condition you choose. A clearly impossible one won't work. It has to be something that sounds like it might be possible, but actually isn't. You have to find that sweet spot."
"You're right."
"That’s the best advice I can give you. Good luck with everything—including your work."
"Thank you very much!"
Hmm. That was excellent advice. Setting a condition and declaring I’d marry the winner was a solid move. It would also serve as a shield if anyone else decided to propose.
But the condition itself... just like Alice-san said, that was the hard part. I had to think this through.
The next day.
I ended up getting married to all four of them.
......How did this happen? Where did I go wrong?
I knew the answer. The condition was a disaster.
"I can't possibly choose just one of you. Therefore, I will marry whoever clears this condition."
That was what I told them. I had spent all night thinking. If I asked for a rare object, they might actually find it. After all, they were elite employees and were on good terms with the Chairman. If they asked him, I felt like he could procure literally anything in the world. So, objects were out. Bringing a specific person was out for the same reason.
So, what was left? I needed an unthinkable condition. And then, it hit me.
"Please bring me a man who has three or more wives."
In my world, monogamy was the absolute norm. Having multiple wives was unthinkable. Even the President of Inferno Wolf Corp only had one wife. Even my boss's boss, Executive Director Kuroichi, only had Alice-san. That was common sense. A person with multiple wives shouldn't even exist. I thought maybe I should say two, but I went with three just to be safe. I thought it was a perfect, impossible condition.
However, in this company, common sense didn't apply.
"This is Manager Masayuki. He has three wives."
......
They introduced him to me, and all four of them were standing there together. I hadn't specified what would happen if they cleared it simultaneously. Furthermore, by setting that specific condition, I had inadvertently signaled that I was perfectly fine with the idea of a harem.
Manager Masayuki looked at me with incredibly sympathetic eyes.
"This company is huge, kid. Most conditions get cleared eventually. We even have senior guys—'Aniki' types—who got married at branch offices after trying to escape."
I really wish my senior had told me that sooner.
"You idiot," my senior said, suddenly appearing. "I'm not your senior anymore. I'm your brother-in-law."
"Brother-in-law..."
"Also, sorry about this."
"About what?"
"I didn't get to finish telling you about Alice-san."
"?"
"All four of the women you just married are Alice-san's grandchildren or great-grandchildren."
"......"
"So, you are now officially and inextricably part of the Executive Director Kuroichi Faction. I'm in the same boat, so don't sweat it. Oh, and Alice-san is technically your grand-mother-in-law now, but listen to me: always call her Alice-'san.' Use any other title and you’ll wish you were dead."
"......"
"Ah, Manager Masayuki is part of the Executive Director Kuroni Faction, but you're free to hang out with him. Anyway, good luck."
......
............
I’ll do my best.