When I first laid eyes on you, what welled up in my heart was a sense of profound sympathy.
I thought you were a pitiful soul, suddenly thrust into this strange world without a single friend or acquaintance to rely on. I simply felt sorry for you.
My first impression was that you seemed somewhat fragile and unreliable. You appeared to have no agency of your own, as if you were being tossed about by your circumstances—and yet, it felt as though you had resigned yourself to your fate before you had even tried to change it.
You likely didn't realize it, but I have been watching over you since the moment you arrived.
Naturally, I could not follow you when you were with the Underworld King or the Death King, nor could I enter the inner sanctum of the Temple, but whenever you walked the streets, I was there, acting as your guard.
Shadow—in the jargon of the knights, the term refers to one whose role is to protect a target while remaining hidden.
When you all arrived in this world, Lilia assigned a Shadow to each of you. I was the one chosen to watch over you.
The reason for my selection was simple: I was one of the few who did not harbor an aversion toward men.
It wasn't as if Lilia intended it to be so, but the Ducal House of Albert had gradually developed an atmosphere that was almost entirely female. Many of the servants who had worked there for years held views that bordered on prejudice.
Even though Lilia had warned them to behave, I'm sure it must have been an uncomfortable place for you at first.
As the Shadow assigned to you, I committed a massive blunder on the very first day when I lost sight of you.
Lilia told me it couldn't be helped since your companion was likely a High-ranking Demon, but for me, that wasn't the end of the matter. I reprimanded myself, vowing to put even more effort into your protection, and from then on, I watched your every move more closely than ever before.
I believe you began to change right around the time the New Year's celebrations wound down.
As if a weight had been lifted from your shoulders, you—who had previously been so hesitant to interact with others—suddenly began to actively engage with the people around you.
Perhaps it was a change as trivial as offering a greeting to those you had never spoken to before, but that small spark caused the world around you to change dramatically.
"I'm sorry, Miyama-san. You're our guest, and yet I've let you do this..."
"Don't worry about it. It's already been two weeks, and I'd feel bad if I just let everyone wait on me forever. I'm happy to help out with things like this anytime."
I remember seeing you carrying a basket overflowing with laundry, walking down the hallway side-by-side with one of the maids. I began to see sights like that frequently about two weeks after your arrival.
When you first came to us, the servants of the Ducal House of Albert were split into three main groups.
There were those like Lilia and Luna who welcomed you warmly. Then there were those who didn't particularly care for otherworlders, mostly because some of the past individuals in the Hero-role had grown arrogant due to their status as national guests.
Finally, there were those who held a prejudice against you simply because you were a man—a side effect of many servants having served Lilia since she was still a princess.
When you put them all together, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that nearly eighty percent of the household held a poor opinion of you.
You might not have noticed it, but the environment surrounding you has shifted completely.
Of that initial eighty percent, nearly half have already revised their opinion of you. Since their original feelings were born of foolish prejudice, it was perhaps only natural that their hearts would change once they actually took the time to look at you for who you are.
The true you is a kind, sociable man who wears a soft smile better than anyone...
As I continued to watch you, I began to think you were truly incredible from the bottom of my heart.
You were changing your world through your own actions. To someone like me, who was too afraid of failure to ever move forward, you appeared dazzling—and more than anything, you seemed so much larger than life.
Acting to change your own reality... it is a simple thing to say, but executing it is a monumental task.
How could you be so strong? Were you not afraid of making things worse? Did you not fear failure?
I compared myself to you and wondered.
Fortunately, you often spoke to me despite my inability to use my voice, and you treated me with a kindness that eventually grew into a friendship shared over tea.
Do you remember what you said when I finally worked up the nerve to ask you those questions?
"Well, of course I'm afraid of failure. Honestly, until recently, I was always worrying about risks and consequences, looking at the negatives until I was too paralyzed to act."
"..."
"And now? Well, I had a bit of a change of heart. I’ve started trying to think more positively, even if it’s only a little. I realized that if I could manage something by working hard, it would be a 'waste' to just give up without trying..."
"..."
"Ah, well, I'm actually just repeating someone else's advice. But since I started thinking that way, the weight I've been carrying has felt so much lighter. It makes me feel like I can try again—that I want to keep trying."
The expression on your face as you spoke was so radiant... it was truly wonderful.
Yes, I will confess it. Even though you are younger than me, I respect you with all my heart. Watching you strive so earnestly gave me courage, and it filled me with a strange sense of happiness.
I think that was when your presence in my life began to grow into something more.
Do you know?
Do you know that many of those who once disliked you now look forward to your greetings?
The truth is, you've become quite popular among the servants.
Have you noticed?
Have you noticed the subtle changes in your daily life? The cook who once treated you poorly now occasionally uses higher-quality ingredients for your meals. There is even a maid who specifically requests the duty of making your bed every morning.
By my estimation, there are more than a few people who would develop romantic feelings for you given the slightest provocation.
Do you know?
Do you know just how much you have come to mean to me?
When I felt you were in danger, my heart felt as though it would burst from the sheer anxiety.
Have you noticed?
Have you noticed that the moment I nearly lost you, my respect for you transformed into love?
You probably haven't. You are a kind and wonderful man, but you have a troublesome habit of undervaluing yourself.
It is quite inconvenient being unable to tell you how I feel with my own voice... but for now, I think this is enough. I still don't have the courage to tell you clearly.
So, for now, I will be a little selfish. I will continue to watch over you as you work hard, and I will keep borrowing a little bit of your courage for myself.
And when that courage finally takes root in me and I am ready to take a step forward, I will tell you everything.
It seems I'll have plenty of rivals to contend with, but to borrow your own words: it would be a waste to give up without even trying.
So, from now on, I think I'll try a little harder, too.
I want to get just a little bit closer to the man I admire so much.