A short while after the startling debut of Sieg-san’s parents, Lunamaria-san was on her hands and knees before us, her body trembling in small, rapid intervals.
"...Um, please forgive me. It wasn’t that I intended any ill will, I just happened to forget to mention it..."
"..."
"No, really, it was purely by chance! When I sent a letter ahead of our visit to Rigforresia, they very graciously offered to act as our guides..."
"..."
Two swords were planted firmly in the ground right beside Lunamaria-san’s neck, and before them stood Sieg-san, looming like a wrathful guardian deity.
It seemed that while everyone else knew, Sieg-san had been kept completely in the dark about her parents being our guides. Well, considering Lilia-san had been informed properly, I was fairly certain this useless maid was a calculated offender.
"N-now, Sieg-chan. Luna-chan didn't mean any harm, so let’s leave it at that..."
"..."
"Hie!"
The red-haired woman—Sieg-san’s mother—tried to intervene, but she immediately shrunk back after Sieg-san shot her a sharp glare. It looked like it would be some time before Sieg-san’s anger cooled down.
"Miyama-sama! Please, help me!"
Hey, wait! Don't drag me into this, you useless maid!
I mean, even if you look at me with those pleading eyes, this time... well, every time, really... you brought this on yourself. It has nothing to do with me. I have no obligation or debt to help her, so I’ll just stay quiet and—stop looking at me like that, Lunamaria-san. I’m weak to those kinds of clingy, desperate eyes... Ugh, for heaven's sake!
"...U-Um, Sieg-san? Could you find it in your heart to forgive her now?"
"..."
"I mean, I understand how you feel, but I think Lunamaria-san has truly reflected on her actions. So, please."
"..."
Hearing my plea, Sieg-san looked somewhat dissatisfied, but she eventually nodded and pulled the swords from the ground. Lunamaria-san looked relieved from the bottom of her soul, but unfortunately, I didn't plan on letting her off scot-free.
If asked whose side I was on in this mess, I’d answer "Sieg-san" in a heartbeat. It was unfair to Sieg-san as things stood, so I decided to take a little preventative measure.
"Sieg-san. If Lunamaria-san does something strange again, please tell me. I have a plan."
"...Um, Miyama-sama? What exactly is this plan...?"
"I’ll ask Kuro to give you a stern talking-to."
"I am terribly sorry! Please, anything but that! Have mercy!"
The threat was incredibly effective against the Fanatic. Lunamaria-san slammed her head against the ground with enough force to make me wince. She was clearly more desperate now than when Sieg-san was actually threatening her with a blade, which made me wonder about her priorities.
At any rate, this seemed to restore Sieg-san’s mood to some extent, and we finally faced her parents properly.
"Now then, with that settled—welcome, everyone! I am Sieglinde’s father, Reijihart. Please, just call me Rei-san."
"And I’m Sieglinde’s mother, Sylphia. Call me Fia. It’s a pleasure to meet you~"
"""It’s a pleasure to meet you."""
Sieg-san’s parents introduced themselves with bright smiles. However, seeing them up close, they really did look young. They could easily pass for teenagers, let alone people in their twenties, but apparently, both were over two hundred years old. Elves really were something else.
"It has been a long time, Rei-san, Fia-san."
"Lilia-chan, you look well too. Tell me, have you found a husband yet?"
"Ah, no, well, about that..."
"Even with the Blessing of the Goddess of Love, it’s impossi—Gofah!?"
A textbook body blow slammed into the stomach of the maid who just couldn't help herself. This woman really never learned.
Apparently, Lilia-san was already acquainted with Sieg-san’s parents, and they exchanged very polite greetings. They were ready to show us around the city immediately, but Lunamaria-san announced she would check on our inn reservations and move our luggage first. Rei-san and Fia-san suggested we relax at their house until she returned, so we ended up heading to Sieg-san’s childhood home.
The two of them seemed to have very cheerful personalities, and they kept the conversation flowing as we walked.
"By the way, you’re Miyama-kun, right?"
"Eh? Ah, yes."
Suddenly, Rei-san turned to me with a dead-serious expression. With his refined features, that gravity gave him a somewhat sharp, piercing intensity.
"What do you think? Isn't my Sieg just the cutest!?"
"...Huh?"
"...!?"
What was this man talking about all of a sudden?
"No, even as her father, I have to say, Sieg has a perfect figure and is an absolute knockout!"
"H-Haha..."
"You’re a man, so you must recognize Sieg’s charms, right?"
"Ah, yes. Well, certainly."
In truth, Sieg-san was a stunning woman. Tall and slender, she possessed a face that combined dignity and sweetness, perfectly accented by her red hair and the long ears of the Elf Race. Her personality was gentle, she was skilled at cooking and baking, and she was genuinely kind. She was an incredibly attractive person.
But why was her own father asking me this now?
After hearing my response, Rei-san nodded as if satisfied, then leaned in close to my face, his eyes sparkling with excitement.
"Right? I knew it! So, how far have you two gotten?"
"...Excuse me?"
"~~~!?"
I'll ask again: what was this man talking about?
"Have you gone on a date? Or have you at least shared a kiss by now?"
"N-No, Sieg-san and I aren't in that kind of relationship..."
"What! Are you serious!? You’ve been living with Sieg for a month and haven't felt a spark of passion? Are you actually a man!?"
"...E-Er..."
I was a bit overwhelmed and couldn't keep up, but I suspected Rei-san was an outrageous doting parent. I could tell he loved Sieg-san very much, but there was something so incredibly... disappointing about his approach.
"You see, of course, as a father, it’s painful to think of my precious daughter with a boyfriend. However, I also want her to be happy! And today, for the first time in her life, Sieg has brought a man back to her parents' home! I was already prepared to swallow my tears and accept a marriage proposal!"
"..."
"And yet, you... This will not do! A man must sometimes strike like a predator! Fine, I’ll give you some spending money, so take Sieg on a date and—Buoh!?"
A fist hurtled through the air at terrifying speed, connecting squarely with Rei-san’s face as he was leaning in. The one who delivered the blow was, needless to say, Sieg-san. Her face was beet-red, and her clenched fist was visibly trembling. She was beyond furious.
"S-Sieg, c-calm down. Daddy was just thinking of your happiness—Buheh!?"
"..."
As Rei-san sat on the ground trying to explain himself, Sieg-san’s fist struck his face again. It seemed mercy was no longer on the menu; she continued to swing her fists down one after another before he could get another word out.
"Oh dear, I’m sorry~ It’s always so noisy around here."
"Eh? Ah, no... shouldn't you stop her?"
"It’s fine. He's the one in the wrong this time."
While watching her husband being subjected to extreme violence, Fia-san spoke to me in a casual, leisurely tone. I felt like I could see the daily life of the household right then and there. It seemed this cycle of Rei-san being a fool, Sieg-san getting angry, and Fia-san watching comfortably was the standard routine.
"He didn't mean any harm, really. It’s just that it’s so obvious Sieg-chan really likes you."
"Eh?"
"!?!?!?!"
At Fia-san’s nonchalant comment, the fists Sieg-san was using to pummel her father came to an abrupt halt.
"I mean, in every letter Sieg-chan has sent lately, she’s always writing about you—Mgu!?"
"~~"
"Sieg-san?"
Fia-san tried to finish her thought, but before she could, Sieg-san moved like a flash and covered her mother’s mouth. With a face like a ripe tomato, Sieg-san looked at me and shook her head desperately.
Hmm. I suspected Sieg-san probably just mentioned me in her letters because I was a rare Otherworlder, and Rei-san had jumped to the wrong conclusion. That would explain why she was panicking so much. After all, if your parents started saying crazy things because they completely misinterpreted what you wrote, you’d be pretty flustered too.
"Aoi-senpai. Even from my perspective, Sieg-san is being pretty obvious... Is Miyama-senpai just that dense?"
"I think his self-esteem is just so low that the possibility doesn't even enter his mind."
Dear Mother, Dear Father—Sieg-san’s parents were quite the handful, and it looked like she had a lot to deal with. But how should I put it? Watching their chaotic, energetic back-and-forth... it made me think of the days when you were both still alive. I remembered it well.