When I opened the temple doors, I found myself in a hanging garden.
I wasn’t making a joke. I stepped through the entrance and immediately saw a lush garden floating in the sky, completely devoid of other people. To make matters worse, the door I had just walked through vanished into thin air behind me.
I honestly couldn't process it. Was this really the waiting room? Is this just how things worked here and I was the only one who didn't know? No, that was impossible. It wasn't even a room!
"..."
"Eh?"
Then, she was just there—so abruptly and naturally that she seemed to have materialized from the air itself.
By the time I noticed her, she was standing just a few meters away. She hadn't made a sound or given off even a hint of a presence. She was a woman... or rather, an unidentified "something."
She was a peerless beauty; no other description could suffice. Her hair was a lustrous silver-white, straight and long enough to reach her knees, shimmering as if it held its own light. Her eyes were a shade of gold so pure they lacked even a speck of cloudiness.
She stood nearly five-foot-seven, clad in white ritual robes. Her proportions were so perfect they felt like the manifestation of the golden ratio—and that was precisely why she was so eerie.
When I first met Kuro, her silhouette against the sunset had looked like a masterpiece, but the woman before me wasn't just a metaphor. She was literally a work of art. Everything about her was so flawlessly finished that she projected an overwhelming sense of being an alien object.
Even though she was right in front of me, she felt unreal, like a masterwork painting. My instincts screamed that the being before me existed on a completely different dimension.
Was this... a God?
"Nice to meet you, Kaito Miyama. You are the human from another world who caught Kuromueina's eye. I am Shallow Vernal. It is a pleasure."
"..."
The woman spoke, and a cold shiver raced down my spine. Her voice was beautiful enough to be a divine gospel, yet it carried an intense, wordless wrongness.
I realized the source of my discomfort immediately. I simply couldn't believe those words had actually come from the woman in front of me.
"I imagine you are surprised. I have brought you here at Kuromueina's request. It is said that the heart finds peace in pleasant scenery."
"..."
The words themselves were perfectly fine, but her voice had no inflection at all. Despite how lovely it sounded, every syllable was delivered with the exact same volume, speed, and intensity. There wasn't a trace of emotion. It sounded like a synthetic voice—no, a computer's text-to-speech program would have sounded more human than she did.
Her expression didn't change either, as if the very concept of emotion hadn't existed within her from the start. I couldn't even tell if those golden eyes were looking at me or simply staring through me at the background.
They say humans fear what they cannot understand, and that was exactly why my skin was crawling.
"You seem quite confused. Are you alright?"
"Eh? Ah, y-yes... I'm sorry."
"There is no need to apologize. It is I who am at fault for calling you here so suddenly."
I desperately forced my frozen brain to work so I could respond to Shallow Vernal-sama, who continued to speak without the slightest shift in her expression or tone.
"I-I'm Kaito Miyama. I-It's a pleasure to meet you. Um, Shallow Vernal-sama..."
"You may call me 'Shiro.' Kuromueina—Kuro—calls me that."
"N-No, but, um..."
"You may call me Shiro. Kuro calls me that."
"Um... Shiro-sama?"
"The 'sama' is also unnecessary."
"No, I really can't..."
"The 'sama' is also unnecessary."
"I can't just—"
"The 'sama' is also unnecessary."
"Ah, okay... Shiro-san."
"It is a pleasure."
The conversation finally moved forward! She wouldn't budge an inch! Was that an infinite loop?
I’ll do whatever you want, just please stop that repetitive, recording-like voice. It’s terrifying.
Honestly, I felt a lot of resistance calling a being from another dimension by such a casual name, but after having her repeat the same line over and over with that vacant stare, I gave up and surrendered.
"T-Then, once again... Shiro-san. You said you were doing this for Kuro, but... why did you bring me here?"
"A reasonable question. I shall now perform the blessing."
"Eh? Huh?"
Wait, something was wrong. This person wasn't listening to a word I said. She acknowledged my question was reasonable and then just skipped the explanation!
Without any inflection in her voice, Shiro-san ignored my confusion and reached out toward me.
"A blessing upon you."
"!?"
At those short, hollow words, my body seemed to glow for a fleeting second. But there were no other changes, and the light vanished instantly. Wait, was that it?
"Now, shall we have tea?"
"Pardon?"
Wait a minute, please! Just explain the situation! I have no idea what is happening. What did Kuro ask you to do? Is the blessing over? Why are we having tea? Just a simple explanation, please!
"Kuro requested that I bestow a blessing upon you. The blessing is complete. Since it will take some time for your companions' blessings to finish, let us have tea together to deepen our friendship."
"Ah, okay."
And just like that, she gave me a perfectly concise explanation. I really didn't get this person. Is this just how Gods are?
I wanted to clutch my head and sink to the floor, but a garden table and chairs had appeared out of nowhere, and Shiro-san was already seated. I felt like if I didn't sit down, we’d end up in another infinite loop, so I took a seat in the simple, elegant white chair across from her.
An amber liquid was already waiting in a cup before me.
"..."
"..."
This was awkward. The combination of total silence and an expressionless face was excruciating. I had to say something. Anything.
It was fine. I’d experienced a lot since coming to this world. Even if I was a loner back home, my social skills had to have improved a little. I just needed a conversation starter.
We sat across from each other, but the silence stretched on. Panicking, I took a sip of the tea to buy time—and it was incredible. What kind of tea was this? Even a novice like me could tell it was world-class. I guess that was to be expected from a God. Okay, I’ll start with the tea.
"T-This is delicious tea."
"I am glad it is to your liking."
"..."
"..."
The conversation died instantly! Even when I tried to keep it going, the lack of facial expression and that monotone voice made it impossible to find a follow-up.
I guess I had just hallucinated the idea that my social skills had leveled up. Reality was cruel. Besides, I was the type of person who waited for others to lead the conversation. During my years as a loner, I had learned how to adapt to what others said. I was a reactive conversationalist.
That worked well with most people, especially someone like Kuro who constantly threw out new topics. But that style had one fatal flaw: it was useless when facing another reactive person. Sitting here in silence with Shiro-san was the perfect storm.
If she were a normal person, I could try to push through, but I couldn't tell what she was thinking. She was the ultimate boss of awkward silences. Shiro-san, please, say anything!
"I have a question. What are 'social skills'?"
"...It’s the ability to communicate and carry out conversations smoothly."
"I see. Then what is a 'loner'?"
"It’s... well, someone who is usually by themselves. Wait, Shiro-san, can you read my mind?"
"I can."
"Oh. Okay."
She admitted it so casually! That meant she had been reading everything I was just thinking. That was incredibly embarrassing. In that case, I really should just let her take the lead.
"Ah, I must also provide snacks."
"..."
I’d been thinking this for a while, but was this woman just completely operating on her own wavelength? Does she even care about what's happening around her?
Without any regard for my state of mind, Shiro-san changed the subject in that same flat voice. I suppose the legends were true: Gods don't actually understand the human heart.
"Please, help yourself."
"...Shiro-san, you too?"
I had a bad feeling the moment I realized she knew Kuro, and there it was. It appeared on the table as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The food I had seen more than any other since arriving in this world: a baby castella.
I didn't even have the energy to complain. I picked up the familiar snack, popped it into my mouth, and—
"!!?!!?!!?"
I nearly died.
The moment I bit down, a piercing, nasal-clearing heat exploded in my mouth. It didn't just burn my tongue; it felt like it was stabbing my sinuses.
Was this... wasabi!?
Why? Why was there wasabi inside a baby castella? Was this a prank? This was a culinary crime. These two things should never have met.
The grotesque mismatch of sweetness and sharp heat was so revolting that I had to fight the urge to gag, desperately washing it down with the tea.
I turned to look at the culprit who had served me this traumatic snack, but Shiro-san was calmly eating one herself without a single change in her expression.
Why are you eating that so normally? Was this not a prank? Did she actually think this was a good snack? This woman... it wasn't just her existence that was weird; her sense of taste was broken.
"S-Shiro-san?"
"What is it?"
"Is... is that delicious to you?"
"No. It tastes so foul I believe eating mud would be a preferable experience."
"..."
Then show it! Put a little of that feeling into your voice or your face! And more importantly, why would you make this and serve it to someone!?
"Previously, Kuro gave these to me. She said, 'I tried making these, but they were unbelievably gross, so here you go.'"
"...And your own impression was that they were gross?"
"Yes. I wondered if such a horrific food was even allowed to exist in this world."
"...Then why on earth did you serve them to me?"
"Kuro told me that 'baby castellas are the best thing to have with tea.' Since I am attempting to deepen our friendship, I served the item I was told was the best as a gesture of welcome."
"...And your opinion on the taste again?"
"It is so terrible that its very existence feels like a sin."
"..."
I finally understood this woman. Her face and voice were still as robotic as ever, but I knew the truth. This woman was... an incredible airhead.
An emotionless, expressionless airhead was the most dangerous kind. I wanted her to give back the sense of divine awe I had felt toward her just a few minutes ago. All of it.
"Since that is not a physical object, it would be difficult to return it."
"...It was a metaphor."
Dear Mother, Father—I met a God. She was eerily expressionless, and her lack of emotion gave me the chills. But as it turns out... she’s a total airhead.