Until quite recently, I was a king.
However, I was forced to abdicate following a rebellion led by my own son. I had prepared myself for death, but it seemed I was destined only for house arrest. I took no joy in this, however.
I had inherited the throne at the age of ten and had protected it for over thirty years. To think it would end in a coup. I wanted nothing more than to beat that foolish son of mine to a pulp.
But even more than him, I wanted to direct my fury toward my vassals. I had no idea what their circumstances were, but for them to support that idiot boy... what had all my years of hardship been for?
It was infuriating.
Yet, after three months of living in confinement, my anger began to fade. Though it was called "imprisonment," I was simply forbidden from leaving the mansion; inside, I was reasonably free. Furthermore, though it could not be made public, there were those who still felt indebted to me and sent provisions, so I lacked for neither money nor food.
The only thing I could not obtain was information.
I had absolutely no idea what my son was doing. Having held the most current information in the palm of my hand as king for so long, the sense of loss was profound.
But I eventually grew used to that as well. Before I knew it, my chronic lack of sleep and exercise had been resolved, and my physical condition was better than ever. In a way, having the weight of the crown removed might not have been such a bad thing.
That was how I began to think.
Yes. Perhaps I simply wasn't suited to be a king. It was a comforting thought.
If that was the case, then what was I suited for?
...In order to find the answer to that, I couldn't afford to remain locked away.
"Very well," I decided. "I shall escape."
I had five companions. There was the old man who had looked after me since childhood, a single knight to serve as a guard, and three ladies-in-waiting. All five were people who had chosen me over my son. When I informed them of my plan to escape, they didn't even flinch; they simply bowed and began preparations.
They were incredibly reliable.
Under normal circumstances, I would have wanted my wife to accompany us, but I anticipated a grueling journey. Regrettably, I decided it was best to part ways. I intended for her to stay behind and maneuver things so that those remaining would not be punished. Given the power of her family, I doubted our son would dare lay a hand on her. In fact, it was hard to imagine that foolish boy being able to do anything against his mother at all.
When I explained this to my wife and asked her to stay, she punched me.
Apparently, a wife’s place is by her husband’s side. It was a heartwarming sentiment, but...
With my wife joining the fray, our group of companions swelled to about fifty people. It occurred to me then that my wife might possess significantly more personal charisma than I did. N-No, I had only kept my numbers low because I was trying to be "discreet." I decided to stop thinking about it.
For now, we would head for another country. Staying within our own borders would be a headache. Similarly, any country where my face was well-known would also be a nuisance. Thus, we set our sights on a nation far across the map.
Our line of carriages was quite a sight. We even chartered an entire ship. We stood out immensely.
As expected, pursuers eventually caught up to us. I did wonder if my group was being a bit too ruthless in their counterattacks. Technically, the soldiers were just following my son's orders, and they were, after all, my own countrymen.
Then again, I had no desire to return to a life of house arrest. And if I were taken back now, execution was a very real possibility.
"Fine," I said. "Counterattack. But aim for their limbs whenever possible."
While shaking off our pursuers, we eventually arrived in the Demon Kingdom. Even the most persistent hunters wouldn't follow us here. After all, they were currently at war with the Fullhart Kingdom, the reigning powerhouse of the continent.
A request for support from the Fullhart Kingdom had reached my country as well. I had ignored the request, but that didn't mean I had officially sided with the Demon Kingdom either. I figured it would be fine. Or rather, I wanted to believe it would be fine. I certainly hoped it would be.
"Alright," I declared. "First, let's secure an inn. Do we have enough funds?"
When I asked, I was told we had enough to build a palatial estate if we so desired. I left the logistics to them.
As for food, apparently there was a very popular spot. My wife had gathered that information before I even knew we were staying. She was truly a force to be reckoned with.
—The Prince’s Side—
How on earth did things come to this?
Was my coup d'état not a resounding success? I had removed my father, who did nothing but spout annoying logic, and taken the throne for myself. The vassals had been pleased. Everything was going well up to that point.
So where did it go wrong?
Ah, right. It started then.
"Bring me the list of nobles who rebelled against me," I had ordered.
"Pardon?" my aide had replied, looking troubled.
"Hey now, where is your usual efficiency? I expected you to have it ready. Has the success of the coup gone to your head?"
"No, um... Prince? Exactly what kind of nobles are you referring to when you say 'nobles who rebelled'?"
"Isn't it obvious? The ones who got in my way when I tried to take the throne."
"In that case, there aren't any."
"What?"
"You are the First Prince, correct?"
"W-Well, yes."
"And there are no other princes?"
"That's right."
"Therefore, it is only natural for you to inherit the throne. The vast majority of the nobility viewed this entire affair as a family feud—a father-son spat—and maintained a stance of watchful waiting."
"Wait, wait! I was resisted by the army at the royal castle!"
"Well, that tends to happen when you lead an armed force to attack the castle without permission. Besides, that declaration of war you made was... something else."
"What do you mean 'something else'? I thought it was quite dashing."
"How you managed to insult your own father that much is beyond me. Everyone was frankly disgusted."
"Wait... I thought it was cool."
"It contained so many groundless accusations that people began to doubt your sanity, you know."
"...By any chance, has my reputation dropped?"
"Rest assured. You didn't have enough of one for it to drop any further."
"Did you think I’d be happy to hear that?!"
"Yelling doesn't make you look any more dignified. Anyway, to summarize: the nobles mostly stayed out of it. Those who resisted at the castle were merely being faithful to their duties; they weren't rebelling against you. In a sense, it was you who was rebelling, so it's a bit rich to complain that they didn't immediately follow your lead."
"Sorry, that's too complicated. Put it in simple terms."
"They weren't being hostile toward you; they were simply responding correctly to your actions."
"So you're saying nobody is opposing me?"
"Correct. Or would you prefer it if everyone bowed and scraped just because it was you doing it? That's a bit much to ask of the people charged with protecting the King."
"M-Mm."
"I appreciate your understanding."
"I'm not convinced, but fine... Then give me the other list. The one of the nobles who have been committing malpractice."
"Certainly."
"Oh, you actually had this one ready. ...Wait, this is the list of nobles who supported me! Are you so tired you're making mistakes?"
"I haven't made a mistake."
"...Eh?"
"It's not 'Eh?'. The only people who stand to benefit from a change in kingship are obviously those kinds of people."
"……"
Father had always said the national budget was in a state of crisis. But I had a solution: squeeze the nobility. Or rather, crush them and confiscate their assets. I wasn't a fool; I wouldn't crush innocent nobles. I'd target the guilty ones. I had proposed this to my father many times, but he never listened. He just laughed at me. That was why I staged the coup.
"Um... what does the current national balance of payments look like?"
"Right here."
A pile of documents high enough to make me physically ill was placed before me.
"You're joking, right?"
"I'm quite serious. I even narrowed them down for you."
"......P-Please, just give it to me in one word."
"The finances are agonizing. We are all counting on your skill, Prince."
Since then, I have been buried in paperwork. I thought paper was supposed to be a precious commodity? Looking at this mountain, it's hard to believe... but it is. And they're using all that precious paper to demand my signature. Every single page represents an urgent matter.
So, I work. But no matter how many I finish, more documents arrive than I can process. What is this? Is this some sort of lingering curse from my father?
"The Former King used to handle these with ease," the aide remarked.
...Kuh.
"I thought that once I became king, I could just go to parties every day and enjoy myself."
"There's no way that was ever going to happen... though there are parties you are required to attend. Please finish this mountain of documents by then."
"Gunununu."
"No signing without reading. I've slipped several test documents in there to check if you're paying attention."
"Hey! Are you trying to sabotage my work?!"
"No, that's just my vacation request form. I plan to take about a year off, so I look forward to your approval."
"Wait, you... if you leave now..."
"You can do it! If it's you, Prince, you can do it!"
"No I can't! Also, if you actually take a break, I'll kill you!"
"Hahahaha!"
Kuh. My own aide is bullying me. I wonder if my father had to deal with this too.
"Wait, what did you just say?"
"The Former King has vanished from his place of confinement."
"What were the guards doing?! What about Mother?"
"Well... fifty-two people in total, including the Former King and the Former Queen, vanished from the estate all at once."
...! By any chance, was it like that rumored incident at the Village of the Sword Saint?
"No, it was different. He left a note. It said they were leaving for the sake of freedom and that he's leaving the rest to you."
"Is it Father's handwriting?"
"Yes. There is no doubt. How shall we proceed?"
"......Pursue them."
"Pardon?"
"Pursue and bring them back! I won't allow my father to be the only one who gets to be free!"
"The Former King's group has already entered the Demon Kingdom. We judged that military pursuit was impossible, so we sent in spies instead. This information is already a month old."
"Kuh. Why such a troublesome place?"
"It is the perfect place to escape your reach. As expected of the Undefeated King."
"Don't call him that. He's just a coward who refuses to fight."
"Yes, yes. I understand. Anyway, regarding the report from our spies... it seems the Former King and his group have set up a base in Shashato City."
"That's the city famous for its delicious food lately, isn't it?"
"Indeed. And there... well, he joined the Tiger Demon King's Army."
"He joined the Demon King's Army?!"
"No, apparently it's a team for a ball game called 'baseball'."
"A ball game?"
"Yes. It's a game played with nine people per team. It's so popular in Shashato City that many teams have been formed. The Tiger Demon King's Army is one of them."
"I see."
"In that team, the Former King is the catcher and the fourth batter."
"...Is that supposed to be impressive?"
"The catcher is essentially the pivot of the defense. As for the fourth batter... he is the cornerstone of the offense. He's reportedly been a star player in every match."
"So he's just playing games?"
"I wouldn't say that. The manager of the team is the Demon King himself."
"...What?"
"The Demon King is busy with state affairs, so he only participates about once every ten days, but he is the manager."
"And a manager is... what, exactly?"
"The one who commands the team."
"I don't understand any of this."
"Neither do I. Additionally, the presence of many 'retired' figures from other countries has been confirmed."
"Retired figures?"
"Kings who were forcibly deposed like your father, or princes who lost succession struggles. That sort of thing."
"And those people are on the Demon King's team?"
"No, most of them seem to be on other teams. There are quite a few in the 'Seafood Curry Army' and the 'Supreme Pizza Army'."
"……"
"Oh, and the Former Queen... she's apparently obsessed with the stage."
"The stage? Now that you mention it, Mother did love the theater. Is she sponsoring a troupe?"
"No, she's performing in the plays herself. Mingling with the local ladies..."
"……"
"So, what will you do?"
"What do you mean, 'what will I do'?"
"Well, shall we continue the surveillance?"
"Of course. And I want this letter delivered."
"A letter? What's in it?"
"My sincere apology, and a desperate plea for him to return to the throne."
"The Former King isn't so naive that he'd come back for that... he'll probably just think it's a trap."
"Even if it's a one-in-a-million shot, I have to bet on it! Otherwise, this country... the country won't survive!"
"The King just needs to work harder at his job. Come now, get to it!"
"Ugugu... That's it! I have a son! He should be ten this year!"
"...You can't be serious."
"I heard Father took the throne at that age too. Hehehe."
"The King has lost his mind! Guards, punch him until he stops! Don't hold back. That's it—right hook, right hook! Now follow up with a left!"
"Don't underestimate me! Ugh—impossible—fugu—guheeeh!"
"Yes. Good work, guards. You're dismissed. Now, King. Regrettably, you'll have to keep at this for at least another ten years."
"Uuuh... they really didn't hold back. Even though I'm the King."
"You are the King. Please don't try to dump your work on a child."
"...By any chance, are you still mad that I didn't consult you before the coup?"
"Haha. Well, I was only told on the day it happened. If the Former King hadn't bowed his head and personally asked me to look after things, I wouldn't even be here."
"Father did that?"
"He did. That's why I'm here. So, please, do your best."
"Just out of curiosity... what would you have done if I had consulted you beforehand?"
"I would have run straight to the Former King and snitched on you. I knew exactly how this would turn out."
"I see. So that's why the other nobles told me not to talk to you."
"Please try to see through the true intentions of people giving you advice before you follow it. Also, I'm going on vacation starting next week. I'm going to pay my respects to the Former King, so I'll deliver your apology letter myself."
"Wait, vacation...?!"
"Thank you for the signature. Don't worry, it's only for a month."
"Wait, wait, wait! I was wrong! Please don't leave me—!"