A dozen nights later, Anze returned to the village on the return leg of her pilgrimage, exactly as planned.
Forgetting even to rest, she immediately began searching for Wolka.
In the two weeks since they had last met, Anze had devoted herself to her journey with a renewed spirit, pushing herself as hard as she could. Of course, compared to his blood-soaked resolve, the efforts of a sheltered girl who had only just learned the meaning of persistence likely paled in comparison. Even so, she had felt that if she were to speak with him again, she needed to change as well.
Surely he was still pushing himself through that grueling training, likely covered in new wounds. She wanted him to let her heal those injuries once more. And this time, she wanted to talk about other things—about Wolka, about herself, and about the future. If he wished for it, she had even dared to hope that one day he might become a knight at the Cathedral.
"…?"
But Wolka was nowhere to be found. No matter how much she searched the village or peeked over the fence of his home, she could not find the boy covered in scars.
Unable to help herself, she asked a villager, and the middle-aged man’s expression immediately twisted with grief.
"Are you a friend of his, little lady? Oh, how tragic…"
"…Has something happened? Where is Wolka-sama?"
Something was wrong.
A terrible premonition took hold. Her fingertips trembled, and it felt as if her heart were freezing solid.
"It seems the boy… went outside the village alone about a week ago. That was the last anyone saw of him."
"—"
"The men from the village went looking for him… but they found a broken sword and bloodstains near the edge of a cliff quite a way from here. He must have been attacked by a monster."
Outside the village. Attacked by a monster. A broken sword and bloodstains. A cliffside. He hadn't returned for an entire week.
"…Eh? Wh-what…? That’s a lie… isn’t it…?"
No.
Anze’s instincts desperately refused to process anything further. It had to be a lie. When Anze had left the village, he had been energetically arguing with that old man. In his quest to embody his ideal sword, he had been overflowing with a vitality stronger than anyone Anze had ever known. She had felt that even if he faced a sheer, jagged precipice, he would surely climb to the top.
To think that such a person could be gone after only two weeks apart…
"It’s a pity, truly… but for a child to go out alone and stay missing for seven days… he’s surely…"
"——!!"
To think he would simply vanish from her life.
In her travels, Anze had learned the truth of the world. She knew that dangerous monsters lived beyond the city walls and that humans had to take up arms to face them. That was why knights existed, why adventurers existed, and why swords and magic were necessary.
That was why, even though the man spoke vaguely, she understood.
She understood with devastating clarity that there was no way a child who hadn't even reached ten years of age could survive with nothing but a single sword.
"Ugh… ah… aah… aaaaaah!!"
The strength left her body, and Anze collapsed where she stood, her eyes hollow.
Just what should she have done?
She was instantly swallowed by a torrential flood of regret. Should she have forced him to stop? Should she have trampled on his resolve and sought help from the adults of the Church? Even if it meant being loathed by him, should she have denied the path he was trying to take?
"I told them! I said that insane training was absolutely wrong! But that old man, and that boy too…!"
Anze had thought the same. But she had been overwhelmed by Wolka's extraordinary resolve; she had felt ashamed of her own lack of effort and had given up, believing she had no right to hold him back.
If she had truly intended to stop him, there would have been any number of ways.
A voice echoed inside her head.
Then is this the same as me leaving him to die?
Her memories of what followed were a blur.
She could only faintly recall being held by her tutor, the Old Butler, as she wailed at the top of her lungs.
To Anze, Wolka was the first person in her life to ever disappear. It left an immeasurably deep, cruel scar on her immature heart. Consumed by regret and despair, Anze became withdrawn, unable to eat, and was eventually forced to abandon her pilgrimage.
It took many months before she could truly stand on her own again.
She had been forced to realize that a boy she met by chance in a Frontier Village had somehow become a massive presence within her soul. He was the one who had shattered her ignorant worldview and forced her to face herself. Though their time together had been brief, he was the person who had literally changed her life.
That was why… oh, that was why.
"I am the leader of Silvery Grey, Lieselalte. We might be a party of youths, but we’re many times more capable than the rest! Come on, you stupid disciple, introduce yourself."
This happened two or three years after Anze had attained her current rank.
Traveling to the Royal Capital on official business, Anze had hidden her identity and recruited several parties of adventurers to supplement her knight escorts. These adventurers were closely involved with the daily lives of the people through their work. Thus, hiring them as guards while engaging in conversation was a precious opportunity to hear the voices of the common people more clearly.
Among the parties that had accepted the request…
"I’m Wolka. Er… nice to meet you."
"…………!!"
When she saw that figure…
When she heard that name…
Anze could not describe how much her heart was saved in that single moment.
He had grown significantly since that time, but she did not mistake him for a second. The grey hair tied at the nape of his neck, his blunt way of speaking, his slightly unapproachable air, and his palms—completely covered in scars from relentless training.
He was alive.
He had survived.
He lived, and he had met Anze once more.
She could have done something. Because she hadn't, it was the same as letting him die—those feelings of regret that had haunted her for years surged up all at once, and it took everything she had to endure the heart-rending pain in her chest.
Feeling tears begin to well, she pressed both hands to her mouth and looked down.
"Wh-what’s wrong…?"
He did not realize that Anze was the young girl from all those years ago. It was only natural; back then, she had mostly hidden her face. Now, she had grown her hair long and had learned to carry herself with the dignity of her station. It would be stranger for him to recognize her as the weak child from his past.
In truth, she wanted to scream right then and there. Do you remember me? It’s me! I’m so glad you’re safe, I’m so glad you’re alive, I’m sorry I couldn't do anything! She wanted to let the floodgates burst.
However…
"Hm? Ah—I bet you scared her because you're so unfriendly. Here, smile! Smile!"
"Tsk, hey, Master, cut it out."
"Wait, we’re in front of people, Liesel-san!"
"Something seems fun. Let me join in too."
"Atri-san, you too! S-s-sorry, I’m so sorry! Um, well, even so, everyone here is very strong! We’ll guard you properly!"
Watching him surrounded by his comrades, Anze felt the feelings that had been about to overflow slowly unravel and settle.
It was a realization that felt like waking from a dream.
Ah—surely, he had found them.
Unlike Anze, who could do nothing, he had found people who truly helped one another, believed in one another, and would do anything for each other… irreplaceable "someones."
That made her uncontrollably happy.
————————————————And yet, it hurt just a little.
"…I am sorry, it is nothing. The sunlight was simply a bit bright."
She quickly wiped her eyes and looked up, swallowing the words that had been welling within her. In truth, she wanted him to remember her. She wanted to be allowed to cry. But to him now—surrounded by irreplaceable comrades—she felt that she, who had been unable to do anything for him back then, had no right to disclose her feelings after all this time.
Ah, I see.
The small pang in the corner of her chest was surely jealousy. She was envious of those girls who could stand by Wolka’s side as his equals. She couldn't help but wonder if things had been different, if she would have been the one in that place.
This was surely the punishment given to Anze.
…Even so, it didn't matter. Even if he didn't remember, even if he never recalled the past.
As a woman who was no longer ashamed to face him, this time, she would become an essential presence in his life.
"It is a pleasure to meet you all."
The name she would use was already decided. Whenever she interacted with others as a mere Sister, Anze had resolved to always use this name.
After all, it was a precious name given to her by an irreplaceable person.
"I am Anze. Please… call me Anze."