It was roughly a ten-minute bus ride from my family home. My mother’s grave was in a cemetery at a temple situated near the base of a hill.
After picking up some offering flowers at a nearby florist, Haruka and I headed for the temple, carrying the cleaning supplies we’d brought from the house.
As we made our way toward the Main Hall, I caught the eye of the head priest, who was busy sweeping the grounds.
"It’s been a long time, Father Nagai. I’ve come for my annual visit."
"Oh, it’s been a while indeed, Tatsumi-kun. Have you grown even taller?"
I felt like I’d been told the same thing repeatedly since yesterday, but since it was our first meeting in a year, I took the words at face value.
Father Nagai had known our family since my grandparents' generation. He had watched over my father and me ever since my mother passed away when I was young.
"I’m at that age where I’m still growing... though it feels like only my body has gotten bigger, while my maturity hasn't quite caught up yet."
"There’s no need to be so humble. I can tell from the way you carry yourself that you’ve changed for the better. I’m sure your parents are very proud. ...By the way, who is this young lady?"
As the priest turned his gaze toward her, Haruka, who had been standing politely behind me, bowed deeply.
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Chief Priest. My name is Haruka Akise. I am dating Tatsumi-kun. It’s an honor to meet you."
"My, how polite. I am Nagai, the head priest. Hehe, I see. So Tatsumi-kun has reached that age already."
I felt a slight sense of awkwardness under the priest’s warm, knowing gaze. There was a strange kind of embarrassment that came with having someone outside the family—someone who had looked after me since childhood—comment on my romantic life.
"Since you’ve brought her along, I take it you're here to introduce her to your mother?"
"Yes. Besides that... there are several other things I want to report to her."
"I see, I see. I’m sure she’ll be delighted. The pails and ladles are in the usual place."
"Thank you very much."
After offering a proper thank you, we parted ways. I filled a pail with water from the tap near the Administration Office, then, carrying the pail, the ladle, and a broom, the two of us walked down the narrow path through the cemetery.
The Yanagida family grave sat at the back of its section, marked by a solitary, relatively tall stone monument. From a distance, it had looked fine, but up close, it was covered in fallen leaves, moss, and mildew.
"Let’s start with the cleaning. I’ll wash the headstone, so could you help me by clearing the leaves around it?"
"Got it."
Nodding at my instructions, Haruka began sweeping the area around the grave. Watching her out of the corner of my eye, I pulled on my work gloves and grabbed an old cloth.
I lightly brushed the sand off the headstone by hand and wiped it down before scooping water from the pail and pouring it over the stone. As the water flowed, the dust and dirt washed away, and the stone’s original color began to emerge.
Next, I used the cloth to carefully scrub the headstone from top to bottom. The earthy scent of the moss rose as I rubbed it away. I was particularly meticulous with the front where our name was engraved.
Once I finished wiping it down, I poured water over it one last time. Just then, it seemed Haruka had finished her sweeping. She gathered the leaves into a plastic bag we’d brought, set it aside, and then we both started on the detailed cleaning.
"I’ll scrub the dirt off the flower stands and the incense tray, then refill the water. Should I put the flowers in now?"
"Yeah, please. I’ll polish the characters and the recessed parts of the water basin. If you finish early, come help me."
"Okay, will do!"
As I expected, I felt that I, as her son, should be the one to handle the headstone itself.
I traced the grooves of the engravings with firm strokes of a soft-bristled brush. As I repeatedly rinsed and polished, the blackened grime began to lift... and I found myself actually starting to enjoy it.
As I lost myself in the work, the midsummer humidity and the sun made sweat pour off me. The refreshing breeze that had been cooling us down seemed to have simultaneously chased away the clouds that had been blocking the sun. On balance, it was probably a net negative.
Sweat trickling down my forehead nearly got into my eye, forcing me to squint. Just as I was about to wipe it with my sleeve, a towel was gently pressed against my face.
"Thanks, Haruka. That helped."
"You’re welcome. It really is hot, isn't it? Do you need a drink?"
"I’ll have some once I finish this character."
I thanked Haruka as she gave me a bright smile, and then I faced the headstone once more.
Once I had cleaned the character for 'no,' I decided to take a break. While sipping a sports drink from my thermos, I watched Haruka as she washed the flower stands.
After scrubbing the insides and giving them a quick rinse, she trimmed the stems of the bouquet, shook off the excess water, and placed them into the stands. She’d told me she had never visited a grave like this before because her family was Catholic, but thanks to her expert domestic skills, she seemed far more efficient than I was, even though I’d done this dozens of times.
"Phew... Alright."
I wiped my brow again, stood up, and picked up the brush.
Dividing the work between the two of us, we spent about ten minutes scrubbing the surface of the stone and the grooves of the water basin and incense burner. After a final rinse, we returned the flower stands and incense tray to their places. The cleaning was complete.
"...Alright, that’s perfect. Thank you so much for the help, Haruka. It was a huge help."
"I’m glad I could be useful. It was my first time cleaning a grave, but the work was simple enough."
We exchanged smiles of accomplishment, wiped away our sweat, and finished hydrating.
Before we offered our prayers, I thought it best to wash our hands. There was a sink for that next to the Administration Office.
After tidying ourselves up, we faced the grave once more and laid out the offerings. We had brought some yokan from a local confectionery—my mother’s favorite—along with one more thing: a container of Haruka’s homemade kinpira gobo.
Haruka had been hesitant about it, but I was sure my mother would be happy. She had loved cooking and perfecting recipes. She would have been delighted to try something made by her son’s girlfriend.
I lit the incense. A small flame flickered before an elegant, clean fragrance wafted up.
"If you're okay with it, Haruka... would you like to pray with me?"
"Eh? But, shouldn't the family go first...?"
"It doesn't matter. ...It's just a matter of who goes sooner or later anyway."
"Oh..."
She looked at me with a startled expression, and I had to turn away, unable to maintain eye contact.
Damn it. I tried to say it like it was nothing, but I really shouldn't try to spout cheesy lines on a whim.
As I stood there with a red face, Haruka stared at me intently before giving a happy, bashful smile.
"Ehehe... Hey, Tatsumi-kun. Does that mean what I think it means?"
"...Just forget the line for a moment. But yeah, that’s how I feel."
"Hehe, okay. I’ll take you up on that and offer my greetings, too."
"Yeah. I'm sure my mom would say, 'If you're going to introduce her, make sure you show your faces together properly.'"
Haruka let out a small giggle.
"Was your mother a very strict person?"
"No, she was actually quite gentle. She never once raised her voice at me. But... well, she was someone who placed great importance on manners and responsibility."
Since I was a child, she had told me many times to take responsibility for my words and actions. And to always treat others with respect. No matter who they were, or how small the matter.
"...To be honest, I'm not entirely confident I've lived up to those words."
"I don't think that's true. I'm sure your mother is proud of you, Tatsumi-kun."
"You think so?"
"Yes. If you're worried, why don't you try asking her?"
"...Right."
Haruka and I knelt before the grave, folded our hands, and closed our eyes.
I wondered where I should even start.
The last time I came here was on the anniversary of her death, about four months ago. So much had happened in those four months. There was a mountain of things I wanted to tell her.
Various memories surfaced and vanished... and then, a scene vividly appeared in my mind.
I didn't know exactly when it was from; likely because it had been such a mundane, everyday occurrence. It was me as a child, following my mother around as she did chores, talking incessantly about whatever came to mind. She never found my rambling annoying, and she listened until I had nothing left to say.
Sometimes Dad would listen along with her... I had loved those moments.
...Mom. I want you to listen to me, just like back then. I might jump from topic to topic or fail to explain things well, but all of it is important to me.
First... yeah, I guess the biggest thing is—I got a girlfriend.
She’s beautiful, cute, smart... and a very strong person. I’m sure you two would have gotten along great. I’m working hard so I can stay by her side... ah, no. I should save that for later and introduce her properly first.
Her name is Haruka Akise. She is the woman I love... the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.