Akise finally spoke just as I drained the last of my coffee.
“……I’m sorry, Yanagida-kun. For letting you see me in such a pathetic state.”
“……No, don’t worry about it.”
I was so thrown by the fact that she even knew my name that my response caught in my throat.
The "Perfect Honor Student," the girl at the top of the social ladder… after what I’d just witnessed, those labels felt hollow. I shouldn’t even think of her that way anymore.
I stole a glance at the girl beside me.
She had lifted her face from her knees and was staring blankly ahead. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot—maybe just the orange glow of the sunset, but I knew better.
Suddenly, her gaze shifted toward me. Her wide eyes shimmered with a fragile uncertainty.
“Thank you for helping me. You really saved me. I was so… so scared that I couldn't even speak.”
“It was nothing… I just heard some shouting and came to see what the deal was.”
“I see. They were definitely making a scene, weren't they?”
The conversation died there.
It seemed Akise didn't remember passing me near the stairs. She had likely been summoned by a message or a photo threatening to expose her, and her mind must have been too occupied to notice anything else.
After a heavy silence, as if she were searching for the right words, Akise let out a deep sigh.
“……Did you hear what they were saying?”
I hesitated.
Should I lie and claim I hadn't heard a thing, or should I be honest? I thought about it for a second and decided to tell the truth.
I didn't think I could hide it from someone as sharp as Akise, and my hesitation had basically given her the answer anyway.
“……I was nearby from the moment Morita-san pulled out her phone. I wasn't sure if I should step in, so I just watched for a bit. I didn't mean to eavesdrop… I'm sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I don't… yeah, I don't really mind.”
Her voice told me she clearly did mind, but I wasn't about to point that out.
Seeing me fall silent, Akise gave a faint smile and tilted her head.
It was an adorable gesture that would usually have made my heart skip a beat, but the smile she wore now was far too painful to look at.
“If you already heard, then I guess it can’t be helped. ……Hey, Yanagida-kun. If you don’t mind… would you listen to my story for a minute?”
“……Are you sure you want it to be me? Wouldn't a closer friend be better? Someone like Mukai-san?”
I mentioned the girl who had been clinging to her after SHR, but Akise shook her head slowly.
“I can’t tell Miki-chan and the others. I never want them to know. ……I intended to keep it hidden forever.”
“…………”
“I’d appreciate it if you didn't go spreading what I'm about to tell you, though.”
“Well, I don't have any friends to tell. Besides, I doubt anyone would believe me if I started talking about you, so you're safe.”
“Ahaha, is that really something to say so proudly?”
A small laugh escaped her, sounding a bit more natural than before.
However, the mirth vanished instantly, replaced by a mask of deep resignation and sorrow. Her lips moved slightly as if searching for the right syllables. I focused, determined not to miss a single word.
“You see… back in my third year of middle school… I was bullied.”
The word "bullying" slipped from her mouth, and I felt as if the temperature around us had plummeted.
“In my class back then, there were these girls who were trouble. They’d be noisy during class, skip school, and there were rumors they hung out with delinquents from other schools. They’d mess with people’s studies as a prank or hide their things… yeah, it was bullying. There was one girl in particular they targeted… I found out later they were even extorting money from her.
I couldn’t just stand by. The girl they were targeting was so timid she couldn't possibly fight back… I guess I felt like I had to save her. Back then, I was just as shy and introverted as she was, you know? But I worked up my courage and called them out in front of everyone.
Since there were so many people around and a teacher was nearby, the girls backed down for the moment, but…”
“……Then they turned on you.”
“Yes. ……At first, it was just things being thrown at me during class or people shouting insults. I could handle that. But it escalated. They started spreading nasty rumors and throwing away my textbooks.”
“……That’s a crime. I don't know if I should ask, but… where were the teachers?”
“I don't think they noticed. My homeroom teacher was a rookie in her second year, filling in for a veteran on maternity leave. She was completely overwhelmed with the job… she couldn't really control those girls, so they just did whatever they wanted…”
And besides, Akise tried to continue, her voice trembling.
The realization of what came next hit me a second too late. Before I could say a word, Akise spoke with a voice that sounded like she was coughing up blood.
“……Everyone was walking on eggshells around them. ……No one helped me.”
“……!”
“I mean, it makes sense, right? No one wants to be the next target. Even my few friends drifted away. But… having the very girl I’d tried to protect pretend I didn't exist… that was the part that really hurt.”
She let out a dry, hollow laugh.
Seeing that agonizing smile sent a sharp pain through my chest. I wanted to scream. I couldn't sense any resentment toward the people who had abandoned her; there was only a hollow sense of resignation that made me want to look away.
“……You have such a scary look on your face. Why are you so angry, Yanagida-kun?”
“……Sorry. I know it’s none of my business, but……”
“……Thank you.”
I reflexively looked away from her grateful smile. My anger was misplaced and selfish. Since she herself wasn't holding a grudge, my indignation was nothing more than self-satisfaction.
“I didn't want to lose to people like them, and I felt so guilty toward my parents and teachers that I couldn't bring myself to ask for help… In the end, it lasted about two months. They'd pour water on me, or hit me while pretending it was an accident. Once it turned into physical harm… I finally broke. One morning, I woke up and realized I couldn't move, even though I was trying to get ready for school. That was the first time I told my parents and teachers the truth.”
“……They must have been devastated.”
“They were shocked, and I made them so sad. My mom and dad cried so much, and the teacher apologized to me over and over. After that, my dad and the school took action, and the girls were disciplined… though I didn't hear the details. But even after that, I couldn't go back to school. In the end, I didn't even attend the graduation ceremony.”
Akise spoke as if she were simply reciting facts, but her profile showed more guilt than sadness. A girl as kind as her—someone who was shy yet still found the courage to stand up to bullies—was now agonizing over the fact that her trauma had hurt the people she loved.
I, who had never experienced such brutal malice, could never claim to understand her. Surrounded by sickening cruelty, with no one to reach out a hand, and even having her kindness betrayed… she had simply endured until she was crushed. I couldn't even begin to imagine the despair she had felt.
……But.
“But you were able to bounce back, Akise-san.”
“It was only because of my parents and my teachers. They were so patient with me when I was too scared to even leave my room. They’d come to my house after school just to help me study. I’d already caused them so much trouble, so when they did all that for me… I had to live up to it, right?”
I almost reflexively said, “That’s not true,” but I caught myself.
Even if I didn't understand her feelings, I could guess how the people around her felt. I was certain they never saw her as a burden. They were thinking only of her. They likely blamed themselves for not noticing her pain. If there was anything they could do for her, they would have done it gladly.
……Then again, that was just my own speculation.
“That’s why I changed my hair, learned how to use makeup, and forced myself to get better at talking to people. I’ve worked so hard to become someone worthy of the name my parents gave me.”
So she wouldn't disappoint the people who believed in her. So she could become the "Haruka Akise" everyone expected her to be.
“I decided to start fresh in a new environment! I studied like crazy to get into a top school far away where no one knew me, I made lots of friends… I really, really tried my best. But, I guess……”
Akise forced a smile, but even I could tell it was a hollow mask. Her next words were thick with a sob.
“Sigh… I guess the bright, cheerful Haruka Akise ends here. Just when I was finally getting used to it. It’s been a little over a month since the entrance ceremony… the days felt so long, but so short at the same time.”
Even though she acted cheerful, there must have been an incredible amount of effort behind the scenes. Hiding a bitter past and playing the role of a perfect, socially gifted honor student—and doing it all for the sake of the people who supported her.
Maybe, deep down, she hadn't recovered at all.
“I don't know what to do tomorrow. Maybe it’s already spread on the Class LINE. ……I’m so scared. I hate this.”
The friends she had made, her reputation in class, the life she had built. The fear that everything she had desperately piled up could vanish in a heartbeat. For someone who had already lived through that nightmare, I couldn't imagine how terrifying it must be.
“……I think,”
I opened my mouth, but the words wouldn't come. What could I possibly say? We weren't even friends; we were just classmates. The only reason she was talking to me was because I’d happened to see her at her lowest point.
How could I support her? Any hollow words from someone who didn't truly understand her suffering would never reach her. I wasn't arrogant enough to think my encouragement meant anything to her, nor did I have the right.
In that case… I’d just tell her exactly what I felt after hearing her story.
“──I think you’re incredibly cool, Akise-san.”
“Eh?”
She looked at me blankly, her expression clearly stating she had no idea what I was talking about.
I started to feel intensely embarrassed, so I decided to just blurt out the rest.
“If I were in your shoes, I could never be like you. I’d just spend my life resenting the people who bullied me, and the help from everyone else would probably just feel like a heavy burden. But you were different. You found the strength to look forward, and in this new environment, you’re smiling for everyone. ──That’s not something just anyone can do.”
That’s why…
“I think you’re really cool for having that kind of strength… and I admire you. So, um, what I mean is… uh……”
I hit a wall. I’d come this far, but the words were failing me. In the end, what am I even trying to say? I’m saying “I think” too much. I’m being so vague.
In moments like this, I really hated my lack of social skills. Always overthinking, always hesitating, and ultimately doing nothing.
But I didn't want to use that as an excuse. I didn't want to look pathetic in front of such an impressive girl.
“I just wanted to say that there’s at least one person who looks at you and thinks you’re cool. If… if anyone says anything to you from now on, I just want you to remember that.”
……I wanted to end on a high note, but I faltered at the very end. What a mess—no coherence, no summary. Just a rambling, awkward mess.
Predictably, Akise didn't respond. She just stared at me with wide, confused eyes—and then…
Drip.
A single tear fell from her flaxen eyes, and my panic hit its limit.
“Ah, wait, uh—I’m sorry, Akise-san! A loner like me shouldn't have been so full of himself! You don't have to listen to me, I—”
“Sniff… that’s not it.”
“It’s pointless—wait, what?”
“That was so unfair! You can’t just say things like that…! Of course I’m going to cry…!”
Wiping away the tears that were now streaming down her face, Akise was smiling. Not the hollow, empty smile from before, but a genuine, radiant one.
“Thank you, Yanagida-kun. I’m so happy…!”
“……I’m glad.”
Up until now, I’d thought Haruka Akise was a cute girl, but it was like looking at an idol through a screen. But seeing the radiant smile on her face now—and knowing that smile was directed only at me—my heart was hit with an impact I had never felt before.
To put it bluntly, I was completely captivated.
My heart hammered against my ribs, and I could feel my face heating up. Every bit of my attention was fixed on the girl in front of me. I wanted to sear this image into my brain; I didn't even want to blink.
If only I could see this smile forever───
Ding-dong-dang-dong
“……!”
“Ah, the bell…? Is it that late already!?”
The sudden chime finally rebooted my frozen body. As Akise looked at her phone and yelped, I realized that was the bell signaling five minutes before the final school exit time. We didn't have much time left.
“Yanagida-kun! Is your bag in the classroom?”
“Eh? Yeah, it is.”
“Mine too! We have to hurry!”
“Right… wait, whoa!?”
While I was still dazed, a warm, soft sensation gripped my hand. I looked down to see Akise’s small, feminine hand clutching mine.
“Um, Akise-san? Why are you holding my hand…?”
“Come on! Move it!”
“Wait, wait! I can walk! I can walk on my own!”
She wasn't listening.
Ignoring my flustered protests, Akise dragged me along. I could have pulled away if I really tried, but I was afraid of hurting her, and—truth be told—it didn't feel bad. I let her lead me.
Still holding hands, we swapped our shoes at the lockers and sprinted toward the classroom. Two people running through a deserted school building while holding hands… we must have looked like a bizarre sight to anyone watching. Or maybe… no, that was definitely wishful thinking.
“Ahaha! This is actually kind of fun!”
“I’m glad you think so… but is this okay? If someone sees us……”
“I don’t care! Or… do you hate it, Yanagida-kun?”
She looked up at me with eyes still wet from tears, and I reflexively shook my head. That was a foul play if I ever saw one. Someone call a ref.
……She might not care, but this was definitely bad for her. Holding hands with a loner like me would ruin her image. Maybe she was just caught up in the moment? That would explain the weirdly high energy.
Just as we reached the top of the stairs and headed for the classroom, we ran into someone.
“Hey, you two, it’s time to go home. Get a move on… and…… wait……”
“Ah, Mr. Azuma……”
“Heeey! Sorry, we’re going!”
Mr. Azuma’s jaw dropped as he looked at us—specifically, at our joined hands. I felt incredibly awkward, but Akise just waved energetically. We hurried past the frozen teacher.
“Well, I’ll be. ……In just one hour, the kid didn't just make a friend, he got himself a girlfriend.”
“No, that’s not it—!”
I wasn't given a chance to argue with his impressed voice as we ran off.