I was Alraune, a plant-monster girl who loved water.
Standing before me was an adventurer serving as my very own Water Dragon Armor Drink Bar. He had equipped himself in magnificent magical armor just to present me with a gift of delicious water. The leader of the Crystal of Dragon Water, enveloped in a massive globule of liquid, looked succulent and incredibly appetizing.
"Greetings, human water mage. Or rather, should I call you Mr. Drink Bar? I am deeply grateful to you for inviting me to this all-you-can-drink party."
It seemed he intended to welcome me immediately, as Mr. Drink Bar approached in a fluid motion. He was generating water currents beneath his feet to boost his movement speed. Since he wasn't launching any water at me, I assumed this all-you-can-drink session was self-service. It felt like a kind consideration on his part—an invitation to help myself to as much as I liked.
Since my throat was feeling dry, I decided to take him up on the offer. I directed about ten briars toward him, and soon heard the muffled splash of my vines hitting the water. They were blocked by the thick layer of magical armor. Mr. Drink Bar proceeded to slash through the briars wriggling in the water, one after another, with his lance.
The lachrymatory substance of my onions was water-soluble. Because of that, my onion attacks were neutralized by the layer of water enveloping his body. As I suspected, that armor was going to be a nuisance. As long as he was protected by that liquid barrier, my briars, onion chemicals, and sleeping powder would never reach him.
"Now it’s my turn!"
Leveling his lance, the adventurer charged. With the water currents beneath his feet, he glided toward me. It was actually convenient for me to have him close. I intended to get a proper drink this time.
I summoned a thick, long root from the earth. Yes—my taproot!
Since I usually kept it hidden underground, exposing it to public view was quite embarrassing. It felt as if I were flashing what was under my skirt. Ugh, as I thought, this was incredibly shameful... A gentleman had just laid eyes on a part of my lower body that should never be seen. And in its barest state, no less. I might never be able to get married now.
Look, my flower had even turned bright red from the sheer embarrassment. (I had a feeling it was red from the start, but please don't let that bother you.) I didn't think I could endure any more of this humiliation, so I decided to end things quickly.
I plunged my taproot into Mr. Drink Bar’s water armor.
"The Alraune’s human half is beautiful, but an attack using a mud-caked root is hardly elegant. It’s useless against me!"
Mr. Drink Bar, please do not misunderstand. I wasn't attacking; I had simply come to sample the juice at your drink bar.
My taproot began to rapidly absorb the moisture from the armor. Like a bathtub with the plug pulled, the water began to vanish. I could feel the vessels inside my body pulling up the liquid in rapid succession. The water was delicious!
"W-What?!"
The absorption power I had cultivated during last year's drought was not just for show. During that hellish heatwave, where I had struggled to suck every last drop of moisture from the parched earth, my roots had become masters of the craft. Thanks to that, Mr. Drink Bar’s water armor vanished completely.
Thank you for the feast.
"...I didn't expect you to suck the armor dry, but a mere plant root is no problem if I just cut it down!"
Mr. Drink Bar lunged, trying to pierce my taproot with his lance. But I wasn't about to let that happen.
Zupopopopopopon!
Now that the water armor was gone, it was the perfect chance for target practice. Hit by the Teppou-uri Machine Gun, Mr. Drink Bar was sent flying backward. However, thanks to the defense-boosting support magic provided by his allies' earth magic, the seeds failed to pierce his skin.
Even so, he was flinching. It should have been the perfect opening, but I had a problem of my own.
—Ugh.
I might have overindulged. I felt like I was going to get root rot. Even for a plant monster of my size, there was a limit to how much water I could absorb at once. I felt nauseous from being so full. If my roots rotted from the excess liquid, I would wither away. This was bad—a true emergency!
I had to regulate my internal water levels immediately. And so, it was time for transpiration.
Usually, I released excess water from my body through my leaves. The process of a plant emitting moisture as vapor through the stomata is called transpiration. It’s essentially the same physiological phenomenon as a human sweating. By doing this, I could discharge the extra water and eventually draw up more from my roots.
I began to release the moisture from the stomata on the undersides of my leaves. A thick cloud of vapor billowed out. Because I had swallowed such an absurd amount of water, the sheer volume of the transpiration was staggering. A dense mist began to roll off me.
"Mist? What is the Alraune doing now?" Mr. Drink Bar asked, sounding bewildered.
But in the next instant, he clutched his eyes and collapsed. "M-My eyes! Argh, it burns!!"
Just like the knights before him, Mr. Drink Bar began rolling around on the ground. You see, while I was transpiring, I decided to release my onion lachrymatory substance along with the vapor. Because of that, my "sweat" had effectively turned into tear gas. Even with hard armor, there was no way to block vapor in the air. If he had still been wearing his water armor, it might have been a different story, but I had already finished that off.
"Leader, are you okay?!" "We'll help you—Gah! My eyes!" "W-What is this?!"
His three companions who rushed to help also fell victim to the tear gas. Soon, all four were rolling on the ground in a miserable huddle.
"To think... that I, of all people... would be beaten by a mere plant monster...!"
I presented the writhing members of the Crystal of Dragon Water with a gift of hypnotic seeds. It was my way of saying thanks for the all-you-can-drink water.
"Please, have a nice rest."
Once the hypnotic seeds struck home, the four of them drifted off peacefully to the land of dreams.
Looking at him now, I thought I might actually want to keep this Mr. Drink Bar. He was much more practical and convenient than the "flower vase" commander I’d made earlier. Maybe I should install him in the forest.
Don't worry, Mr. Drink Bar. If you're an all-you-can-drink station, then I am the Forest Salad Bar. I can produce all the vegetables we could ever need. As a drink bar and a salad bar, we're practically kindred spirits. Let's work hard together from now on.
—Phew.
I suppose that was another job well done. Neutralizing humans without killing them was quite the chore. Since they were trying to kill me, I suppose I had every right to retaliate in kind. However, if I were to actually eat a human after they called me a "man-eater," I would only be proving them right. So, as always, I intended to return the humans to the city politely.
Though I might make an exception for Mr. Drink Bar.
I assumed the subjugation squad was finally finished, but then I felt a gaze. Looking closely, I saw two humans still standing. One was a man who looked like an adventurer, and the other was an Apprentice Saint. Unlike the man, who looked paralyzed with fear, the girl had a troubled expression, as if she were wrestling with deep confusion.
As the mist from my tear gas cleared, the Apprentice Saint took a step toward me. She stopped once we were close enough to see each other’s faces clearly. Our eyes met, locking onto one another.
I definitely recognized her. Her most striking feature was her eyes, which held a powerful aura of light. They were special, looking as though they had been blessed by the Goddess of Light herself. If I recalled correctly, her name was...
"...Lady Iris."
The Apprentice Saint whispered the name. It was my name. A nostalgic name that hadn't been spoken by a human in a very long time. For her to call me that meant she recognized me. Hearing her voice brought the memory back—the memory of the younger Apprentice Saint with those special eyes.
This girl was Nina.
How nostalgic. She had grown so much since I last saw her. But I had more pressing concerns. If she was calling me Iris, it meant she had seen the "me" inside this monster.
"Lady Iris... No, it's impossible for you to be her."
Nina's expression hardened with resolve, and she raised her voice with sudden strength.
"You, the Alraune with Lady Iris's face. Tell me—what have you done to her?!"
(Note: If you put a plant in a plastic bag, the inside will fog up with water vapor. This is a visual way to observe a plant's transpiration process.)
Next time: The Saint-eating Alraune and the Vengeful Apprentice Saint.