I administered No. 13.
While other antidotes were automated, this one wasn't—mostly because it was a prototype developed late in the game. No. 13 was specifically designed for Zork and Ghouls, possessing a potent detoxifying effect on the toxins found in Zork meat.
Wait... that crab was Zork? I'd eaten it a little while ago... Ah, right, the toxins accumulate. Did this mean most of Lepsitol’s seafood was off-limits?
I joined up with the Ninja Squad and touched base with Cap'n-san.
‐Cap'n-san.‐
‐Auditor, please just speak normally.‐
That captain bastard... he was starting to treat me with less and less respect.
‐Captain, I've got a toxin reaction. It's Zork toxin.‐
‐W-What?!‐
‐Don't panic. It's the kind that accumulates. We'll run tests at the lab tomorrow. Have the Ninja Squad get checked out there. All employees need an emergency health checkup too.‐
Bad Feeling-chan was acting up. Intuition-chan was screaming at me. I had a nagging suspicion that the Ghoul contamination in Taikyoku and the Locust Terrorist Attack in Chronos were all about to converge.
Rikochi and I were hauled off to the lab for a detailed examination.
Things had become serious. Zork toxin plus Ghouls—it was a full-blown combo. Treatment was straightforward enough thanks to the antidote and Tatiana's barrier, but the implications were grim.
We tested Karen-san as well. Sure enough, she was a carrier! Apparently, Lepsitolians possessed some level of resistance, which is why the simplified tests didn't flag them as positive. The current testing methods were just that imprecise.
In other words...
‐The source of infection is the California roll!‐
‐It's the raw fish inside it, you idiot,‐ Rikochi retorted.
So, why were we the only ones showing symptoms? Because we'd eaten too much crab. It turned out those were Crabs Using Zork Genes! It appeared that people from the Galactic Empire had a much lower resistance to Zork toxin than the locals.
Rikochi and I ended up with liver values that looked like a train wreck. Alcohol was strictly forbidden for the time being. We only survived because the military nanomachines did their job and purified us.
Now, here was the truly terrifying part. Lepsitol seafood was widely distributed. They'd been testing it, sure, but who would have thought Zork and Ghoul toxins were being blended in just at the threshold of detectability?
The Kamishiro Group had been considering exports to the Galactic Empire, but they immediately halted the production of all frozen goods. Before being discarded, the stock would be studied as research samples.
Kevin was in surgery, so he was safe. He was let off with just having to look after patients from other departments. Meanwhile, the Internal Medicine and Food Hygiene Former Graduate Student Group plunged headfirst into a Screaming Agony Death March Hell. Tatiana was running herself ragged too.
By the way, I wondered why my symptoms were so flashy...
‐Is it the shiny fish?‐
Small fish, blue-skinned fish... in other words, biomagnification. It wasn't the green onions! The green onions were innocent! I finally understood why Lepsitolians stuck to California rolls—they were instinctively choosing the safe option. Furthermore, our inari sushi was perfectly safe, which explained why its popularity had exploded.
On top of that, consider Parcion cuisine, which even Lepsitolians wouldn't touch... No matter how you looked at it, that stuff was biological hazard tier.
Taikyoku immediately suspended all imports. Latarnia agreed to deliver the currently promised batches but banned imports starting from the next lot. Chronos also suspended trade for the time being, though they were mostly self-sufficient anyway. However, the government made a public appeal for all citizens to get tested.
The Ogre God Nation was spared simply because they were too far away. They had no real relations with Lepsitol to begin with. Those guys always luck out. Their luck parameter must be through the roof.
Mike & Hammer Co., including the Ninja Squad, switched over to Latarnia-made frozen foods.
Now... the real problem was how to handle the news.
‘The Grand Duke, Sovereign of the great Grand Duchy of Chronos, snuck into another country for a family punishment game and got food poisoning from eating too much crab.’
We couldn't let that pathetic story out. We had to cover it up. While the news of the food poisoning outbreak was released, we made no mention of where it occurred or what specific foods were eaten. However, the emergency suspension of Lepsitol seafood and the national appeal for testing told the story better than any headline could.
As for me, perhaps because everyone truly believed I was immortal, no one seemed worried. That was a little sad in its own way, but it was better than causing a panic. However...
‐Wifey... please forgive me already...‐
‐Absolutely not!‐
That was Wifey.
‐Honestly! Leo, you're just too greedy!‐
That was Claire.
‐Ahahahaha! I knew you'd screw up the moment I heard you were going to Lepsitol!‐
That was Melissa, cackling her head off.
‐My Lord. That is why I told you so many times I should accompany you...‐
Ren also joined in, lamenting theatrically.
‐Ren, you have work to do at the Chronos Palace!‐
‐But I wanted to go on a trip with My Lord!‐
I was getting scolded from every possible direction. Isono was also lecturing the boys.
‐Look, it was supposed to be new employee training! Nobody could have predicted we'd become ninjas and get crab-poisoned!‐
Exactly! No one could have predicted this.
To make matters worse, I've been banned from entering Chronos for a while. Because of the Zork-Ghoul cocktail, I was considered a quarantine risk. I was exiled from my own country until I was fully cured.
After the endless lecturing, it was at least decided that I didn't need to be hospitalized. I was under follow-up observation. I set up a simple barrier at home; that should be enough to kill off the Ghoul toxins.
A completely disgruntled Rikochi was huddling in the kotatsu.
‐Leo-kun... they said we can only eat frozen foods...‐
‐They said instant ramen and freeze-dried stuff is okay.‐
‐Crab...‐
‐It's got Zork genes in it, remember?‐
That said, we were used to genetically modified food. We didn't have much of an aversion to it, provided it wasn't Zork or Ghoul-based.
‐I want to drink alcohol...‐
‐Banned until our livers are repaired.‐
‐Sashimi.‐
‐Absolutely not. They said even Vegetable Sushi is a risk because the hygiene can't be guaranteed... You want some udon?‐
They were noodles imported from Chronos.
‐I'll eat...‐
Even the tap water was banned; we were using Kamishiro Group mineral water. I prepared the udon nabeyaki-style, topping it with some Frozen Fried Tofu that I knew was safe.
Rikochi and I sat there together, slurping our nabeyaki kitsune udon.
Who could have guessed that this was the opening act of the Lepsitol Upheaval? Most people wouldn't have a clue.