Rikochi was actually wearing a dress.
Predictably, it didn't have a plunging neckline or anything, but it certainly looked like an expensive piece.
Even her hairstyle was remarkably high-effort.
I wondered if she had misunderstood the situation and thought this was for marriage hunting.
"You look beautiful."
I was tormented by an indescribable sense of dread, but I complimented her nonetheless.
I was in a black suit.
Hmm. My visual went beyond "new employee" and landed squarely in "Yakuza" territory.
The golden wristwatch that served as my Proof of a Ninja Squad High-ranking Ninja only added to the criminal vibe.
For Rikochi, the watch attached to her designer bag functioned as her Ninja Squad Identification.
We were currently attending the Commemorative Party for the Merger of Mikoshi Trading Co. Group into Mike & Hammer Co.
It was a merger between two massive conglomerates.
Lepsitol, a planet governed by corporations, was in an absolute uproar over it.
Moreover, Mike & Hammer Co. had once been decimated, only to be resurrected as a Chronos corporation. From there, it had proceeded to swallow up Mikoshi Trading Co.
The media was giving Karen-san’s magnificent comeback heavy coverage.
Karen-san was a female hero who had led Mike & Hammer Co. since she was young.
She handled the interviews with poise, nonchalantly hiding the fact that I was the one backing her.
Because of that, Mike & Hammer Co. was currently the most talked-about entity in all of Lepsitol.
And this was that company's Victory Commemorative Party.
A massive media presence was also in attendance.
Karen-san gave a greeting from the stage.
We, the Ninja Squad, were acting as Karen-san’s bodyguards.
Karen-san was wearing a dress with a very generous neckline. Her chest was incredible.
...Which meant... the chests of Kevin and One-oh-one, which made their presence known despite being hidden, were... No, let's stop thinking about that.
"Hello there."
The Captain greeted me with his usual sleazy grin.
"You sold me out, didn't you?"
I addressed him in perfect Lepsitol Language through my translator.
"Ah, you! So you really do have a proper translator after all!"
"I don't kno~w what you're talking about! Anyway, do you have any idea how much trouble I'm in now that it's leaked to all the executives?"
Exactly two hours after I had introduced myself to the Captain as the Auditor, my information had been broadcast across the internal SNS.
There was no other traitor but this guy.
"Now, now, don't be like that, Auditor-dono~"
I’m going to kill this bastard.
"By the way, Auditor-dono. Who is the lady?"
"She is my subordinate, Riko."
"I'm Riko♪"
Don't act all coy!
Then, Rikochi leaned in to whisper to me.
"Oh, stop it! The Captain definitely likes me~"
"He doesn't."
"Leo-kun, stop being so jealous! You're so silly~!"
"That's not it either."
When I retorted with a flat expression, Rikochi’s face shifted into that of an Ogre.
"Leo-kun, I'm the only one who can't even get a marriage interview, let alone a fiancé..."
"O-Oh..."
"Even Papa and Mama look at me with those pitying eyes and say, 'Ah, yes, Riko-chan, you don't have to push yourself. Your younger brother will inherit the family estate. Riko-chan, you should just be free. We can just let your younger brother's children inherit Riko-chan's territory too'..."
Oops, I stepped on a landmine.
I tried to make eye contact with the Captain to seek help.
Instead, the Captain just gave me a thumbs up, mouthed "Good luck♪," and beat a hasty retreat.
No, not that!
Rikochi’s head snapped to the side at a worrying angle.
"Listen well... I don't have time. If I don't find a groom soon, I'll have no place left in my parents' home..."
You're terrifying!
I get that you're troubled, okay!
But I didn't have any connections I could introduce to Rikochi.
"Uh... I'll contact Wifey... Um, Wifey... Rikochi says she wants to get married."
A reply came back from Wifey immediately.
"Lord Groom should just take her. There is nothing even I can do!"
Uwaah... Rikochi... You must have done something truly awful.
Even Wifey sounded angry.
"I get it... I'll introduce someone on this side... If I ask Amada-kyun..."
"I already did that."
"Isn't the situation completely hopeless then!"
So much for that farce.
Since Wifey cut the Correspondence Course, the two of us went back to our security detail.
We were professional soldiers.
Furthermore, Rikochi was Military Police.
We were naturally good at this kind of work.
After guarding the interior for a while, we swapped positions.
It wasn't a break; we moved to the main entrance.
We stood guard over the reception desk.
After a short while, a massive Lepsitolian arrived.
Lepsitolians were generally a large people, but he was among the biggest I'd seen.
He was enormous in both height and girth.
He might have been three meters tall.
He was accompanied by a retinue, and they were all massive as well.
"I'm told he's an Ozeki of Lepsitol Sumo."
"Gocchan desu."
The Ozeki even offered us a greeting.
Ah, this man is a proper gentleman. I could tell instantly.
The reception lady handled his credentials, and he headed inside.
Next, another Rikishi approached from behind.
"This one is a Yokozuna-san."
He didn't even acknowledge our existence.
I see... So that was the standard attitude for them.
I felt like playing a little prank.
I projected a faint sliver of killing intent.
"Ngh!"
He immediately started looking around restlessly.
Oh my. This man was actually strong.
His attendants were hovering, asking, "Yokozuna, what's wrong?"
These guys were useless.
"Leo-kun, you mustn't play pranks. Bad!"
Rikochi scolded me.
The Yokozuna finished his check-in with a look of lingering doubt and went inside.
Then, two more groups arrived.
Another Ozeki and another Yokozuna.
Before I had even done anything, both of them fixed me with a glare.
"Good work, sirs."
"Thank you very much."
I replied with a deep, respectful bow.
They had greeted me in return.
Hmm. This was too perfect.
They weren't martial artists; they were either assassins or professional soldiers.
Once I confirmed the Rikishi had entered the venue, I hailed the Captain.
"Captain, the Rikishi who just entered are suspicious. They noticed me."
"What kind of logic is that...?"
But I knew I wasn't wrong.
"Understood. We'll mark them on this end, so please stay quiet, Auditor-dono."
"Oka~y."
Suddenly, the heavy doors were blown off their hinges with a thunderous bang.
"W-What!?"
Even Rikochi was caught off guard.
When we rushed inside, the Yokozuna and Ozeki from moments ago were in the middle of a rampage.
However, their bodies had been grotesquely modified with machinery.
"It's the Armored Rikishi! Bring the rocket launchers!"
The Captain’s scream echoed through the hall.
Hey now, that's a bit of an overreaction.
"Rikochi, you take the Ozeki."
"Oka~y."
I stepped into the path of the rampaging Rikishi.
The gentlemanly Ozeki who had first greeted us had apparently been attacked and was lying unconscious on the floor.
"Excuse me, customer. Troubling the other guests is—"
"HAKEYOI!"
He wasn't listening.
The Yokozuna, with Vernier thrusters protruding from his back, charged straight at me.
I caught his massive frame head-on.
"Nnuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"
I didn't budge an inch.
"Come on, Yokozuna. Put a little more spirit into it."
"Nnuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!"
Whoop!
I performed a simple leg sweep.
I spun his entire weight around and drove him head-first into the ground.
The Yokozuna ended up stuck vertically into the floor.
When I looked back, Rikochi was performing a Gassho-hineri... or rather, she had seized the other Ozeki in a Double-handed Iron Claw, twisted his neck until he fainted, and then bodily hurled him across the room.
"A-Are those two monsters...?"
I was being showered with insults even by my own allies.
...Can I go home now?