“Yah-hoo!”
I high-fived Keiko-chan and Mirai-chan.
Both were female-type Zorks who used to be middle-aged men. They had fully leaned into their new appearances, using their beauty to work in security while moonlighting as idols.
It might have seemed like they were just messing around, but I’d scouted them both personally for their skill.
“Lord Grand Duke. We have successfully completed our escort mission.”
Mirai-chan, the Class President-type busty loli, spoke in a high-pitched but stoic tone. Beside her stood Keiko-chan, an energetic, busty loli with twintails.
Both had been men in their late forties before their Zork-ization. Unfortunately, they had both pulled the Kevin One-oh-one Type from the Zork-ization Gacha, resulting in their current forms.
The two of them had brought Karen-san to me. Her head was currently swimming.
It was fine; that reaction was perfectly normal. My own brain glitched out on occasion, too.
“You look exhausted. Please, take some time to rest first.”
“Y-Yes… there is just… so much information… I’m simply overwhelmed…”
I had a Court Lady guide her to a guest room for the time being. The interrogation could wait.
As soon as Karen-san left the room, a relentless barrage of communications flooded in via the Lepsitol hotline.
“This is Leo Kamishiro Chronos of the Grand Duchy of Chronos.”
The person on the other end was the Scaly Old Man.
“Do you intend for this to be a declaration of war?!”
“Not at all. I have received reports that a private company was merely fulfilling its duties for a Latarnia insurance company.”
“L-Latarnia insurance?! T-That Karen woman!”
I knew they would complain. That was why I threw another capitalist monster at them. You have to fight monsters with monsters!
“I plan to issue Administrative Guidance to Amada Security.”
Not that there were any penalties if they ignored it! Everyone involved knew how the game was played.
In the first place, there was no proof that I was the one who had staged the intervention. Of course, they could still use it as a pretext to start a war, but if they did, we would simply fight back.
Besides, while Parcion was the primary suspect for the Locust Terrorist Attack, there was a chance Lepsitol was the culprit. I wouldn’t mind picking a fight over that, either.
My reputation? I didn’t give a damn about that. As long as I could ensure the safety of the citizens of Chronos, that was enough. Even the rescue of Karen-san was a calculated move to secure the most reasonable negotiation partner available…
Or so I’d like to say, but it was mostly just intuition. Do your best, Intuition-chan.
Now then… even though Lepsitol had chewed me out, I had to focus on the pro-wrestling tournament for now. Time to head to the venue.
This was the fun part of the job, even if all I had to do was give a formal greeting.
“…Whoa.”
I’d heard the tickets had sold out in an instant, but seeing it was something else. This was a massive outdoor venue!
According to Claire’s report, a mountain of sponsors had signed on, and entertainment agencies had aggressively pushed their talent into the program. It had evolved into a series of concerts held during the match intervals.
…Well, whatever. Entertainment culture was still underdeveloped in these parts. I figured the talent wouldn’t be very refined yet—or so I thought.
“KYAAAAAAH!”
High-pitched cheers erupted from the crowd. It wasn’t just pro-wrestling fans; a massive number of idol fans had also swarmed the place.
The first ones up to sing were Keiko-chan and Mirai-chan.
Wait, I hadn't heard anything about this. When did this happen?!
I sat in the VIP seats, gaping like a fish at Wifey beside me. I couldn't find the words.
“Ah… Lord Groom. It is the Entertainment Department of the Kamishiro Group. They are promoting female-type Zorks as talents to help eliminate discrimination. Those two are their first major debut.”
I kept gaping.
“I know what thou art thinking. Since Kevin refused, the choice fell to those two.”
I was still gaping.
“Those two are quite popular, you know~.”
I pointed at them while still gaping.
“Indeed. It hath been made public that they were originally middle-aged men. However, they have received the mysterious praise of: ‘Because they were old men, they know Kawaii inside and out’…”
It was chaos. Pure chaos was encroaching upon the world.
Set-piece fireworks hissed and sprayed sparks into the air.
“Everyone! Thanks for the support! ♪”
They performed a perfect idol jump as fireworks exploded behind them. The live performance began.
What was this madness?! The stage presence was flawless. They embodied ‘Kawaii’ to the absolute limit. No, wait—why was a performance by two former middle-aged men so perfect?! I couldn't keep up with the mental gymnastics required to process this.
Wifey looked at me with a gentle, compassionate face.
“Lord Groom… just give up and enjoy thyself.”
“Ah, yeah. I guess I’ll do that.”
Once their song ended, the wrestling began. My brain was still fried, but the audience was having the time of their lives. Well, as long as they were happy, I suppose it was fine.
Just as I had reached a state of total acceptance, Lou-chan arrived at the VIP seats.
“Big brother!”
“Hello, Lou-chan! ♪”
I picked her up. Given Lou-chan’s physical age, I figured I was still allowed to hold her… probably. Lou-chan’s Mama arrived right behind her with a camera in hand. She wasn’t scolding me, so I was in the clear.
“Hello there, Lou-chan’s Mama.”
“Your Majesty, thank you as always. I’ll be conducting a brief interview.”
“Sure thing! ♪”
I babbled some platitudes about international friendship. The friendship part wasn't a lie, but the specific details were pure improvisation.
“We’ve heard that Chairman Karen of Lepsitol’s Mike & Hammer Co. is seeking asylum?”
“It seems corporate conflict in Lepsitol has turned violent, and Chairman Karen was nearly assassinated under suspicion of betraying her company. It is a tragedy, even if it is part of their culture. Our country is always open to accepting refugees…”
I said something along those lines. It would probably be edited down into a neat summary later. In short: I wasn’t officially blaming Lepsitol, but I was claiming Karen-san and her entire organization.
Idiots! I’m from a capitalist world! I’ll take the whole company—the data, the know-how, and the personnel!
I intended to gradually dismantle Lepsitol from the inside. Since we weren't officially enemies, I would just strip their information. If I knew what they were thinking, I could perform a perfect meta-analysis.
As these thoughts crossed my mind, I noticed Claire-san acting as the ring girl. Since she was the Grand Duchess of Chronos, she wasn't in a swimsuit, but she was wearing an idol-wrestler style outfit. As expected, she looked stunning. It really suited her.
“How did that happen?”
“I heard she was talked into it,” Wifey replied.
She seemed to be really getting into it. No, wait… that expression was the look of someone who was so embarrassed they had reached a state of total self-abandonment.
Surprised shouts of “It’s the Duchess!” rose from the crowd.
“Don’t we need to stop her?”
“It is what Claire desired.”
Well, if she’s okay with it. I gave her a ‘looking good’ thumbs-up.
Athletes from the Ogre God Nation and Chronos entered the ring. The first match was a single match.
By the way, Intuition-chan had been sounding its alarm this whole time…
I wonder what that’s about?