It was hard to tell through the monitor, but Camila-san seemed to be a very large person.
Not in terms of her chest, but her height.
She had to be over two meters tall.
I was able to compare her to the mineral water bottles Latarnia exported, which were visible on the conference screen.
When I asked the Latarnians, they told me their men were even larger.
In terms of volume, her chest was actually larger than Kevin’s, who was slender but big.
No, this isn't some perverted tangent!
When dealing with different species, these kinds of comparisons are vital data points!
Latarnia confirmed they were a large race.
Close-quarters combat might be a disadvantage.
Not that it will necessarily come to war, of course.
But accumulating information like this is essential.
Anyway, we’d had a bit of a spat over chests, but Wifey eventually cheered up.
I presented a Dream Pudding à la Mode overflowing with whipped cream as a bribe...
I managed to smooth things over through the power of love.
As for me, I spent my time cleaning the shrine.
Just because the great powers were at war didn't mean we had to abandon our daily lives.
Everyone gathered to pick up fallen leaves and start a bonfire...
The turnout of volunteers was huge!
Initially, the followers of the Chronos Religion had been terrified by Shinto—a mysterious religion that had arrived from outer space—but they changed their tune once they saw the typical, laid-back religious attitude of the Japanese-descended people.
Nowadays, we were on such good terms that they even sent people to participate in the leaf-raking and general cleaning organized by the shrine.
It wasn't an aggressive religion, after all.
Because of that, a foundation had been laid that made it easy for Chronosians to volunteer.
As a result, the crowd was a mix of neighborhood residents, people who just wanted a glimpse of me or Wifey, employees ordered to help by their companies, and the hardcore devotees of Divine Tree-chan and Zashiki-warashi-chan.
I had planned to roast sweet potatoes, but we didn't have enough, so we switched to dango.
We piled the leaves high to make a tower and roasted the dango as if it were a Dondo-yaki festival.
Kinako, anko, mitarashi, zunda, sesame, and nori with soy sauce...
Once again, the ugly conflict between the regional factions erupted.
"Is there no Fuchagi!?"
"Yeah! I want Sasage Mochi!"
The men began demanding their favorite local rice cake sweets.
"Make it yourselves!"
In the first place, those aren't things you eat at a Dondo-yaki!
You guys just want to eat sweets!
"Hey, Leo. Are there no Yomogi Dango?"
"I couldn't get any. Besides, they're a pain to make."
"Guh!"
Honestly... you guys should be able to make them yourselves if you have the recipe!
Most military academy graduates can handle basic cooking, after all.
"Hey, hey, what about the three-colored Suama..."
"I couldn't get any!"
"Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
And so, I simply set out a self-service spread of store-bought anko, mitarashi, soy sauce, kinako, brown sugar syrup, and nori.
Eat them however you want!
Claire went with mitarashi.
Melissa chose soy sauce and nori.
Wifey took the anko and smothered it with the whipped cream she’d brought from home.
Tatiana, One-oh-one, and Shiyun all went with anko.
They even got some whipped cream from Wifey.
Wifey... what a terrifyingly clever girl!
Most of the men were in the brown sugar syrup and mitarashi camps.
The women, meanwhile, went into a full berserker rage over the extra whipped cream and cut fruit provided by Kevin and Nina-san.
They were practically snarling at each other to keep their distance... I didn't even want to know.
Why does our domestic life always seem on the verge of total collapse?
I pondered this while munching on soy sauce and nori, followed by some mitarashi.
Note: I am choosing to ignore the possibility that they all simply assumed I would cook for them if they asked.
The citizens were also enjoying their dango as they pleased.
Once the fun event was over and I was relaxing with some tea, a message arrived from Parcion.
It was a bizarre Statement of Condemnation.
[As the Great Leader of the Pirate Guild, we demand that you immediately cease all criminal activities within Parcion territory. Should you ignore this demand, we shall burn your nation to the ground!]
We haven't done anything, though.
I’d checked with the Pirate Guild before, and it seemed they had completely pulled out of things like drug trafficking.
What they were doing in Parcion was strictly legal: transport, security, bars, and the adult entertainment industry.
The adult entertainment side ranged from bars with hostesses or hosts to various erotic shops and even production companies creating adult content.
Oh, and they had real estate and investment firms too.
They were quite the conglomerate.
When I took over the Pirate Guild, I legalized all the various sub-organizations.
We signed agreements with Latarnia, Taikyoku Nation, Chronos, the Ogre God Nation, and at the Battle Dome, deciding that past sins would be forgiven as long as they weren't major crimes like drugs or murder.
Simply put, it was impossible to round them all up one by one.
They were incorporated as companies under local laws.
They became clean organizations that paid their taxes properly.
Those who didn't like the new way of doing things split off to continue as independent pirates.
On the local planets, the guild even acted as the police force, so to oppose them... are they just stupid?
Parcion was trying to pin the crimes of those independent rogues on me.
It’s pretty annoying, right?
So, I sent a reply: "They have nothing to do with me. Do as you please."
This was likely just their way of justifying an assassination or capture attempt—a so-called Decapitation Operation.
Go ahead and try it.
I think you'll just end up embarrassing yourselves again.
Next, I contacted the Pirate Guild.
"Great Leader. How may we serve you today?"
"Parcion is making up excuses to attack. Tell the guild members in Parcion to prepare to vanish overnight."
"Understood."
"What about the insurance?"
"We have it covered, just as you advised, Great Leader."
Excellent.
The insurance wasn't a metaphor; it was actual business insurance from Latarnia Insurance.
The merits of legalizing the Pirate Guild were immense.
It was at a level where it was worth using tax money to guarantee the business.
That was why I’d arranged for them to be covered by private insurance backed by the state.
It was better to involve a private company than to pump government funds directly into the guild.
If they were seen as a state-owned enterprise, there was no telling what Parcion or Lepsitol would try to do to them.
Just like this situation.
That was why I’d gone to such lengths to maintain the appearance of a private entity.
Even now, the Pirate Guild was faithfully paying its insurance premiums.
"Understood. And the women?"
"Provide legal severance packages for those who stay behind. Make sure to be generous."
"Understood."
"Submit the damage calculation reports to the insurance company once you're done."
"We will leave that to the accountants and lawyers, sir."
"Good. You're starting to get the hang of this!"
"Yes, sir. It is all thanks to you, Great Leader."
In short, I made sure to build the "box" of the company properly.
As long as the box functions correctly, the organization will handle the earning part on its own.
Everything must be done legally. Ha ha ha!
All that’s left is to withdraw.
I think the folks in Parcion are going to be stunned.
They probably never expected a perfectly legal, clean withdrawal.