Katori-sensei readied his katana.
I followed suit.
From here on out, I was facing an enemy more formidable than any warship.
...Talk about a glitch in my reasoning.
Katori-sensei’s exclusive machine was the armored warrior Butterfly’s Dream, a design heavily influenced by the Ogre God Nation.
The way he wielded those dual longswords was already way too menacing.
As expected of a state-of-the-art machine, the engineering was incredibly refined.
It even came equipped with the latest piloting assists.
In contrast, my machine was a simple build designed for easy parts replacement, anticipating the reckless maneuvers I put it through.
Piloting assist? Never heard of it. Mine was a manual machine. It was a nightmare to handle.
I lunged forward with my blade.
Counter-initiative? Ultimate secrets? As if I’d know any of that crap!
Victory goes to whoever strikes first, you old geezer!
He flicked my katana upward from below.
I’d anticipated that much.
I threw my entire weight into a downward crush.
When it comes to raw power in simple movements, a single blade is superior!
I'll flatten him right here, swords and all!
Katori-sensei tried to shift our momentum, but I refused to let him.
"You think you can take me down that easily?!"
Katori-sensei’s counter-offensive began.
He pushed back from below with pure mechanical brawn.
Slowly but surely, we locked blades.
When things devolved into a contest of technique, Katori-sensei held the upper hand.
Gunu-nu-nu-nu!
His blade was inching toward Massacre Night’s neck... N-no! Stop!
At this rate, those dual blades were going to shear through me from both sides!
"Well, what’s the matter?! Try and defeat me!"
I had no choice but to break the lock and dodge to the side.
Ideally, by evading cleanly, the opposing forces would vanish, causing the Butterfly’s Dream—which was still exerting forward pressure—to lose its balance... but of course, it wasn't that simple.
Katori-sensei swung through the empty space and lunged, trying to crush me anyway.
Even as I moved laterally, I tried to use my inertia to break away... but he closed the distance instantly!
"Time to end this!"
A dual-wielded eight-directional strike rained down on me simultaneously.
No, it wasn't simultaneous. He was just moving so fast it looked that way.
I can't afford a half-hearted dodge here!
My individual strikes are heavier!
"Uwooooooooooooooo!"
I unleashed a thrust.
If I could just land one solid stab, I could force some distance.
Thud. My blade struck his torso... but there was no resistance!
He had evaded by retreating a half-step—a mere half-step.
He had my range completely read!
Katori-sensei’s arm snaked around mine... He was going for a grapple!
Verniers to full throttle! Dodge! Dodge! Dodge!
I delivered a kick to shove him off, pulled my arm free, and retreated.
I needed to reset.
...Except Katori-sensei wasn't the type to let a reset happen!
He was already mid-charge with a lethal lunge.
His twin blades were leveled directly at Massacre Night’s head.
"Uwooooooooooooooo!"
If that hits me, I'm dead!
"Funga!"
I threw the machine into a desperate tailspin.
Thud! The machine rocked violently.
I’d been clipped by the Runaway Express Katori.
But I’d managed to avoid the lethal thrust.
I maintained the tailspin to gain distance.
You bastard! I’m not playing nice anymore!
I drew my rifle while still in the spin.
"Ha! You think you can shoot in that state?!"
Katori-sensei kept charging.
...Don't you dare underestimate a professional soldier!
I took aim... Focus!
Spinning wildly... I timed the rotation and fired!
"Guh!"
A direct hit on Katori-sensei’s shoulder!
I shot clean through it. Hell yeah!
Katori-sensei’s machine dropped one of its katanas.
"What?! You actually hit me?! You monster!"
"You're the one who's a monster!"
Finally succeeding in posture control, I began raining fire on Katori-sensei.
"You’re the freak who can fight at any range, you idiot!"
Katori-sensei swatted the beams aside with his one remaining hand.
"The guy who cuts through beams is way more of a monster!"
I holstered the rifle and drew my sword.
He only had one hand left... but how do I win... what’s the play...?
I unleashed a heavy blow.
...But there was no way a conventional strategy would work on him.
I slashed again and again, only to be parried every time.
Even with one of his arms out of commission, he was still this good?!
He’s too much of a freak!
My rhythm was being picked apart bit by bit.
And then...
"Dieeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
A finishing blow swept toward Massacre Night.
But I had been waiting for exactly that.
In my hand, I gripped a pistol.
The weapon with the fastest draw speed in my arsenal!
I had predicted the whole thing.
And I’d remembered my roots.
I’m a soldier. I’m not a swordsman.
That means I’ll use every dirty trick and weapon I have.
I emptied the magazine.
A rapid-fire burst so intense it drained the entire energy cartridge.
Even so, Katori-sensei kept coming.
His armor battered and dented, the Runaway Express Katori lunged at me with everything it had left.
But that was exactly what I wanted.
The pistol was nothing more than a feint!
I snatched the arm he used for the thrust.
I tripped his machine and opened the verniers to full throttle.
I grappled him, pinning his arm behind his back as we accelerated.
"Ha! You think I’ll let you snap it?! This acceleration won't do you any good!"
"Oh, it’ll do me plenty of good! It’s my win!"
I declared my victory in a bright, cheerful voice.
"Huh?"
The moment Katori-sensei let out a confused grunt, we saw it—floating debris. A meteorite made of massive rock.
I’d been aiming for this the whole time!
While snapping the Butterfly’s Dream’s arm and plunging my katana into its back, I slammed us both into the meteorite.
Massacre Night’s legs shattered under the impact.
The sound of crunching metal echoed as fragments flew into the void.
But that was a necessary sacrifice.
I had pinned the Butterfly’s Dream to the meteorite, my blade driven deep through its frame and into the rock.
Katori-sensei's machine was wrecked.
Hardly surprising. This is what happens when you play chicken with debris.
Even for a machine like the Butterfly’s Dream, it was surely inoperable now.
"It’s my win."
"Dammit... I lose."
Both machines were little more than scrap metal.
Despite the conclusion of the match, there was only silence.
Huh? That’s weird. I can’t hear the commentator.
Then, a moment later, a roar of excitement erupted.
"U-uwoooooooooo! The King won!"
"T-that was incredible! They’re both freaking monsters!"
"Long live the King!"
Man, I thought I was a goner.
This was way too hardcore for an exhibition match.
As I sat there gasping for air, a communication came in from Wifey.
"Well done, Lord Groom! A victory beyond reproach!"
"Wifey... please let me sit the next one out..."
"That will not be possible."
"Whyyyyy?"
"Formal challenges are flooding in from every corner of the galaxy."
"I’m done! I’m so tireeeeeeed! I just want to flirt with my Wifeyyyyyyy!"
Wifey gave a sweet, knowing smile.
"Now, now, Lord Groom... um... this transmission is still being broadcast to the public."
"Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
And so, the Lonely Hero Jester was burdened with yet another piece of dark history.
Fine! Whatever! We’re a happy couple! I don’t care!
Thus, I officially claimed the title of the Strongest in the Universe.
...By the way, what ever happened to that ship we captured?