The missiles were incoming.
Maybe I should explain.
"Katori-sensei... regarding evading those missiles..."
"Hyah-ha!"
Katori-sensei was busy slashing them apart. He didn't even bother dodging. He didn't let them explode, either; he just charged straight ahead and cut them down from the front.
...Ugh, terrifying.
Just as I was marveling at that, I was locked on. A hail of missiles came down like falling rice crackers.
Geez, I hated this!
I focused on evasion. Watching closely... and I dodged just as they accelerated!
Whoop! There!
I wasn't about to get caught in an explosion. No matter how many missiles they threw at me, I'd dodge them all. They were slower than beam weapons, after all. There was no way a missile was going to hit me!
"You damn pervert!"
Katori-sensei bellowed.
"Why am I the one getting yelled at!?" I shot back.
"No one but you can dodge at that speed!"
"Hahaha, you're the one who raised me, sensei! Right, Master?"
"I never taught you that!"
Next came a rifle volley. Those weren't going to hit me either!
I mean, the moment you fire with auto-aim, it’s completely obvious where you're aiming. They should try manual deflection shooting. Otherwise, they'd never hit me!
I knew exactly where they were aiming, so I just had to avoid that spot. If I couldn't dodge, I’d trust the shield, but their reaction speed was just too slow.
I closed the distance and—Cleaving in Two!
Easy now, easy now, so I don't kill them.
"This is Isaac! None of this is helpful as a reference!"
"I'll let you in on the secret, Isaac. It’s auto-mode, but Parcion-chan really wants me dead. That means they're all aiming for the cockpit. After that, it's just about timing."
"I don't think I can replicate that just by hearing it!"
"It's fine. You can do it."
"You just said that totally half-heartedly, didn't you?"
"Go play with Katori-sensei for a bit. You'll get the hang of it eventually."
"Yeah, come shake my hand at the dojo!"
Isaac-kun made a sour face, clearly unconvinced. Hahaha. Welcome to my world.
Now, trying to kill me was already a foul, but it was still just a minor one—like punching the back of the head in boxing, or rubbing an opponent's eyes during a clinch. An Elbow Strike disguised as a hook... well, you're a moron if you fall for that. Either way, it lacked impact.
I really needed something bigger, like using a throw in a Title Match or a second jumping in to punch an athlete.
The Parcion Army continued to mass. Then, finally, an inexcusable foul arrived.
It was a Warship.
"Here we go, here we go, here we go!"
I was grinning now.
"Katori-sensei, let's finish this! Are you ready for the hunt?"
"You know damn well I am!"
The battleship began scattering mines and fired off Energy Torpedoes.
Hahaha! Idiots!
Bringing a Warship against a target as small as a Humanoid Fighter was pointless! I'd just dodge every Torpedo and mine!
If they were serious, they should have turned every battery on me for an omnidirectional attack. People might wonder how they got something this big into the arena... but it was obviously intentional.
I’d leaked info through the Pirate Guild to the Anti-Great Leader Leo Inauguration Faction—rumors about gaps in the Security Plan for a last-minute event. Parcion had their suspicions, but things just went too well. Before they knew it, they'd been lured to the point of no return. I'd set the stage perfectly, and they likely never expected I’d use myself as bait. But I'm just that kind of guy!
"Hey, Lou-chan's Mama, is the recording going okay?"
"Yes, the Live Broadcast is already running."
It was already on the air. They wouldn't stop now, though. This was a reckless move made with the full expectation of being publicly shamed; as long as they killed me, everything would be wiped clean.
"Fairy-san, what's the status on reinforcements from Claire and the others?"
"Scheduled to arrive in one minute."
I just had to hold out for sixty seconds. Alright, mission accepted. Now, for that one minute...
"Katori-sensei! Reinforcements are coming in a minute to stop us!"
"Then we'll sink it before they get here!"
"Uoooooh!"
We charged.
We wouldn't even last one round... how tragic!
Parcion Humanoid Fighters moved to intercept, rifles blazing, but none of it hit. I dodged it all and smacked one machine with my shield.
Over ten Parcion units drew their swords and swarmed us. Perfect—I'd successfully forced the rules into close-quarters combat. When one person draws a blade, everyone else follows. They hadn't trained for this, and it showed.
"That was painful to watch."
"Not my fault," I quipped as they surrounded us. "Hey, hey."
Then my intuition flared.
Oh, you stupid bastards. The Warship actually fired its Main Cannon. They were going to vaporize their own people just to get me. Absolute trash.
I opened a wide-band channel.
"Run! The Warship is going to shoot right through you!"
A few units broke away.
I charged the Warship. Katori-sensei was fast; he was already on top of them.
"You bastards! You've gone and fouled the match!"
Katori-sensei drew his second Katana. He began carving up the batteries with his Dual-wielding style.
Unmanned Drones swarmed in to intercept. I started picking them off with my rifle... but this was tedious. I tossed a Pulse Grenade. The moment it detonated, I tore through them.
Drone operators and AIs always follow set patterns; they can't move as a true swarm like Kevin does. That must be his Zork ability. I kept shooting them down while Katori-sensei wrecked the turrets.
Nothing could stop us.
The pilots abandoned by their own side had lost their will to fight. They were just the lizard's tail, after all. Once you're cut off, the motivation vanishes. People can endure a noble sacrifice, but being forced to die in a half-assed operation just to spite someone? That'll break anyone's spirit.
They failed because they saw people as pawns. We aren't pawns, you idiots!
"Attention, soldiers! If you surrender now, I'll see that you're treated well. As for the commander... I'm not forgiving you."
I figured the soldiers could surrender once they'd earned their pay. But the commander? Don't think you're getting out of this alive, you jerk.
The drones stopped moving. The operator must have given up.
I switched to my sword and joined in on the turrets.
"Ghahaha! That's one neutralized! Alright, soldiers, head for the Escape Crafts!"
Katori-sensei kept up the destruction. "Hey, you lot! You don't get paid enough for this! Just give up already!"
We systematically dismantled that Warship. By the time our allies arrived a minute later, we had already captured it.
Hahaha!
And while the enemy rescue operations began, Katori-sensei and I faced off.
"Right, let's move."
"You got it."
The finale of this exhibition was going to be a Duel.
I was starting to get a little tired."