I was the all-universe bounty.
From chocolate-covered bananas to real estate, and from extra-large yakisoba to sexy older ladies, I was your one-stop general trading company—the Great Leader of the Pirate Guild, Leo Kamishiro Chronos.
Rice, soy sauce, nori, and mayonnaise. I’d won.
It was a total, smashing victory!
Due to the investigation into the assassination incident involving His Excellency the Grand Duke of Chronos, the tournament had been postponed for a week. The stadium was closed, and in the meantime, I was forbidden from even stepping foot outside the palace.
Since I was the target of the assassination, I wasn't even allowed to do my job. Thus, my days were spent training my body and cooking in the dining hall.
Oh, and interacting with the animals. A cat occasionally delivered a chop to my back—that would be my "Lovely Baby," Kinako.
"Here you go, snack time."
"Nya-n♪"
I gave her some fish treats. I really wanted to give her the same food we were eating, but that would directly affect her lifespan... So, I stuck to veterinarian-recommended food.
"Nya-n♪"
Kinako ate with gusto. I gave some food to Daifuku as well.
"Kyuu♪"
Then, the hawk arrived.
"Ah! He ran off to Leo's place again!"
A girl from the military academy appeared. It seemed the bird had escaped while the girls were feeding him. The hawk wasn't actually a pet; he was wild and just dropped by for the free meals.
"Pee! Pee! Pee!"
He rubbed his head against me.
"Geez, Leo-kun! Stop building a harem!"
"Wait, this isn't my fault, is it?"
"Leo-kun, you’re so unfair!"
For some reason, I got scolded. The world was truly full of irrationality.
Fine then. I’d just take a deep breath. Snnnff, haaa, snnnff, haaa. I was going to huff Kinako and Daifuku.
"Nya-n♪"
"Kyuu♪"
As a side note, the hawk didn't attack Daifuku, and Daifuku wasn't on guard at all. In fact, the hawk would even let Daifuku ride on his back. I seriously wondered if that bird could survive in the wild.
"Oh, by the way, Leo-kun, did you see the news?"
"What news?"
At the girl's suggestion, I checked out the streaming broadcast.
"Which outlet is this?"
"Parcion National Broadcasting. You can switch the dubbing to the Latarnia language. It looks like you're the talk of the town, Leo-kun."
"Heh."
By now, most of my former military academy classmates were proficient in the Chronos and Latarnia languages. Even if they quit the military, they could probably make a living as interpreters.
I watched the Parcion national broadcast. An old man and a young newscaster were on a discussion program. The old man raised his voice.
"The Grand Duke of Chronos is a chicken hawk! He’s a devil who tries to send young people to the battlefield while he refuses to step onto it himself!"
...I was a young person too, for the record. And calling me a chicken hawk? I was always on the front lines.
"That man has disrupted the balance of the galaxy and brought about nothing but tension!"
I wouldn't deny that. The balance—or rather, the status quo that had been barely maintained before the Proone and Ghouls collapsed it—had certainly been stirred up by us. That was a fact.
However, if we hadn't stirred things up, Latarnia, the Taikyoku Nation, Chronos, Magellan, and Ozen would have been wiped out. As for the Ogre God Nation, they might have been left alone at best. In the Ogre God Nation, honor weighed heavier than life, making them a nightmare to have as enemies. Because we were close, they looked like a bunch of funny Yankees, but despite their small territory, they had the hearts of Kamakura Samurai. They were a force where, if you intended to fight them, you’d better be prepared for your own death. If it were me, I wouldn't fight them; I’d just leave them to glare at the Proone.
This kind of metacognition—thinking from the enemy's perspective—was vital. That was why I didn't get angry. From Parcion's perspective, they had no choice but to say those things to satisfy domestic public opinion. I had no pride to protect. I was just a piece of free material they could say anything about. Hahaha! Idiots! Say whatever you want!
"Your Excellency the Grand Duke!"
A frantic emergency contact came from the old man who served as the Vice Minister of Internal Affairs.
"Did something happen?"
"The citizens are flying into a rage!"
"Is it about the Parcion National Broadcasting?"
"Yes... you’ve seen it?"
"I'm watching it right now."
"This is bad! Imperial Guard Knights! Please stop Her Majesty!"
"What? What's going on?"
Suddenly, the old man on the Parcion broadcast flashed a filthy smile.
"And as for that whore who calls herself the Galactic Empire Emperor—"
"Hanh?"
Snap. Crack. Crunch.
I accidentally crushed the brush I was using on Kinako in my hand. The moment I snapped, the animals had already bolted. The girls did too.
"Ah! He heard it! Knights! Secure him before he goes on a rampage!"
The Vice Minister panicked.
I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm.
"I’m not mad."
"That’s a lie!"
Apparently, my face had turned into that of an ogre. I would forgive insults against myself. They could say whatever they wanted. But I would never forgive insults against Wifey. I would kill them.
While seething with rage, I opened a direct line to the Pirate Guild.
"Pirate Guild-kyun. I don't care about the cost, put a bounty on the top leaders of Parcion."
"G-Great Leader! Please calm down!"
Even the pirates were talking back to me now.
"I’ve decided that anyone who talks crap about my wife is a dead man!"
"Uwaaan! Ah, Empress Veronica! Please stop the Great Leader!"
Right then, Wifey arrived.
"Calm down, Lord Groom!"
"I love you!"
"...O-oh... You’re more broken than usual... Imperial Guard Knights! Apprehend the Lord Groom and lock him up. Do not forget the roasted sweet potatoes. Once he’s full, he’ll surely regain his senses."
And so, my arms were grabbed and I was carried off "Alien Style" like a calf to the slaughter. I was confined to a room serving as a brig.
I... will... never... forgive... Parcion...
I was currently brainstorming ways to harass Parcion. Since I was way too pissed off, I did squats and push-ups before eating the potatoes. Once those were done, I moved on to burpee jumps. My blood circulation improved, and my brain started moving again.
I couldn't eat the potatoes for another thirty minutes, but that was fine. As my head cleared, a thought occurred to me. Wait, aren't I being usurped here? Maybe I should just quit being the Grand Duke of Chronos? If I did that, I could go kill that old guy right now!
I’d already decided to show him hell!
Thirty minutes later, I ate the potatoes. I also had a nutritional block for protein and a drink of water.
"Hey! How long do I have to stay in here!" I called out to the guard.
"Until the order from the Minister of Internal Affairs is rescinded, sire!"
"This is a coup d'etat, isn't it?"
"No, it is for the sake of protecting Your Majesty's person!"
Damn it! They’d already plugged the security holes in my logic. They were getting way too used to handling me!
Left with no choice, I thought it through. What would Parcion hate the most? A sudden attack? No, that would probably just strengthen their domestic unity. Their attack on me was also a show for their own people, after all.
...Ah, I see.
I just had to make them look like complete fools at the Fighting Tournament. I would act as though I were strictly following the rules. While maintaining the dignity of the Grand Duke of Chronos, I would demolish Parcion's pride.
I sent a message to Katori-sensei.
Galaxy of the Rakshasa ①
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