So, what exactly happened to the world while we were out of commission?
"Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
Screams echoed, audible even from the room where I was convalescing.
"The microwave broke!"
"The data's gone!"
"The terminal's malfunctioning!"
Ever since our colds took a turn for the worse and left us bedridden, things had been like this.
It seemed that because Jester and his crew were down, an endless string of unprecedented technical failures was plaguing us.
Wifey’s battleship was undergoing emergency repairs after both the water heater and the air conditioning kicked the bucket.
The refrigerators were also failing, which led to a massive, immediate disposal of ingredients—translated into a fleet-wide series of hotpot and barbecue parties.
Of course, I couldn't partake. It was tragic.
I was only allowed fruit, though.
The vending machines had all stopped working at once, too.
Their stock was handed out at the parties.
The hydroponics facility suffered abnormalities as well; the seedlings were moved to Chronos’s Hydroponic Cultivation Facility for safekeeping.
My own battleship developed glitches in its life-support systems, necessitating a full-scale overhaul.
With Tatiana bedridden, a massive amount of offerings poured into religious facilities like the Latarnia Religion and the Chronos Religion.
Zashiki-warashi-chan’s shrine received quite a bit, too.
Even though none of it actually goes into Tatiana’s pockets.
Still, religious leaders across various planets held gatherings to pray for our recovery.
At Zashiki-warashi-chan’s shrine, Shinto priests performed rites for our health, and the place was packed with Chronosians.
In a stroke of particularly poor timing, a company affiliated with the Battle Dome ran an advertisement for their funeral services, which reportedly earned them a scolding from multiple directions.
Meanwhile, wild animals were spotted leaving nuts around the Palace.
You don’t have to do that, guys. Eat them yourselves.
The acorns from the shii tree are quite tasty...
Public transportation systems saw their payment and operation networks go down.
Transit was suspended for half a day.
While there were no casualties, the cumulative damage was immense.
Everywhere you looked, the elastic in people's underwear was snapping, and the seats of suits were splitting open.
Stockings developed runs, and the toes of old men's socks tore.
The soles of sneakers peeled off, and the heels of leather shoes came loose.
Hotpots were scorched, and children banged their hips against school desks.
Old men stubbed their pinky toes on furniture, and ingredients stored on high shelves fell on middle-aged women.
This went on for about three days. When Himorogi-chan’s light finally faded, panic broke out.
Sensing the danger, the religious facilities began praying for our recovery in earnest.
The shrine staff was equally desperate in their petitions.
All for a simple cold.
Amidst the chaos, there was one group whose faces were positively glowing with health.
It was the Former Steward of the Despair and his subordinates.
Unlike us Jesters, the Despair-types aren't physically compromised when there isn't despair to go around.
In fact, in the current situation, they could only grow stronger.
I suppose that makes sense.
Even if they power up from despair, they’re useless if they’ve lost their personal pursuit of happiness.
Unless a person is happy enough to accept their own existence, they can't be utilized as soldiers.
For example, if I had lost to the Duke Association and Wifey had been taken by her brother, Walter...
I would have betrayed humanity and defected to the Zork side that very day.
I would have destroyed it all. A country that rotten deserves nothing less.
I would have dismantled it from within to secure humanity's right to self-governance, then taken Wifey back.
Humans are creatures for whom personal happiness is paramount.
Demanding they discard that is nothing short of heartless.
In other words, the Zork Mother failed the design of the Despair-types at the conceptual stage.
But in this highly irregular situation, they were our strongest assets.
It turns out that using the Despair-types as reserve personnel when the Jesters are out of commission is the correct way to utilize them.
In practice, the Former Steward of the Despair—the old man himself—was incredibly competent.
He soothed One-oh-one, who was dejected over being unable to see Tatiana and me, and arranged for her to play with Zashiki-warashi-chan and Melissa alongside Shiyun.
While she was occupied, he threw himself into tackling the mounting problems with Claire.
He resolved them one after another, buying me the time I needed to recover.
As for me, while the illness was severe, I was gradually getting better.
I suppose it was only natural.
No matter how deeply the Magellanic people despaired, the Chronosians and the people of the Galactic Empire far outnumbered them.
Even if I fell, as long as everyone knew it was just a cold, hope wouldn't vanish.
In the long run, the total volume of hope would always be greater.
I was bedridden for about a week before I finally recovered.
"I want a potato."
Kevin, who had come to visit, let out an exasperated sigh.
"Oh, honestly! You know that's out of the question. Here, have some ojiya."
It was a simple dish, but flavorful.
It really was delicious.
"Thanks, Kevin."
"You're welcome. Do you want an apple?"
"I do."
I ate the apple Kevin peeled for me.
Delicious!
Sadly, everyone except Kevin was barred from visiting.
Kevin belongs to a generation after One-oh-one and possesses a powerful resistance to human diseases.
She’s physically resilient.
That’s why, unlike Wifey and the others, she was allowed in.
If we studied Kevin and the other Female-type Zorks, humanity might finally conquer disease... The researchers seem to agree.
The Female-type Zorks are more than happy to participate in the research. It’s safe, and it pays well.
After Kevin took care of me and I got some food in my system, my spirit began to return.
"What happened with the war against Ozen?"
"Our ships have been plagued by so many troubles that we haven't even been able to start preparations. The water supply systems broke down, and there was an animal outbreak."
"An animal outbreak? What do you mean?"
"Mice, apparently."
"Huh..."
"The problem is... they're adorable."
"Excuse me?"
Kevin sent a photo to my terminal.
I opened the file to see an adorable creature—something like a hamster or a guinea pig with long, rabbit-like ears.
There were quite a lot of them.
"What are these?"
"They're called Chronos Mice."
"Are you saying these guys are the source of the illness?"
"No... not at all. They’re... very friendly."
"Pardon?"
Next, she sent a video.
"Kyu-kyu-kyu♪ Kyu-kyu-kyu-kyu♪"
It actually sounded like they were singing.
"They beg the crew for food like this."
"They're friendly and clean. They're perfectly litter-trained, they can sing, they can go for walks on their own, and they have a strong homing instinct... To be honest, a lot of people are keeping them in secret..."
...I see. What on earth are they doing?
"They come in a lot of color variations, too... well, the number of soldiers who are doting on them is skyrocketing..."
"So now we're overrun with mice."
"Yeah... and apparently, they even hunt pests."
I already knew the answer, but I had to ask.
"Kevin... you're keeping one, aren't you?"
"I-I have no idea what you're talking about."
Ah... I was starting to understand.
The reason I’d managed to recover from my weakened state.
Everyone started keeping these little babies, didn't they?
Damn it, everyone! You started something so fun without me!
"W-Well, you see, a traveling merchant stopped by..."
"Yeah, yeah, it's fine. Just be careful around One-oh-one and Tatiana..."
"Ah... right..."
They are definitely going to beg for one later!
And so, thanks to these Fortune Mice, we Jesters made a swift recovery.