Thanks to a bunch of idiots, I was stuck staying on a contaminated planet.
I had to take medicine every single day—specifically, a drug that used nanomachines to help my body flush out toxins.
I also had to endure daily injections. These were essentially pollutant removal machines in liquid form.
For water, we set up a simple water purification plant. Our actual drinking water was mineral water airlifted in, which we also distributed to the local inhabitants.
We also needed samples to test if the local food supply was contaminated. I went to open the food storage, only to find... You morons!
Hey, Magellan Resistance guys... could you stop stashing your own rations in here too? I can't tell what's what like this!
For the time being, I separated and collected what I could. However, with everything mixed together, I couldn't tell if the Magellanic people had brought the contamination with them or if they’d been poisoned by the local food after arriving.
Why are Magellanic people so careless?!
Anyway, I planned to discard all the locals' food—or rather, the crops that hadn't been harvested yet—aside from the samples. That said, I knew if I just ordered them to destroy it from a position of authority, they’d resist. To avoid that, I decided to frame it as a commercial transaction.
We would provide them with clean food in exchange for their unharvested crops. I’d take the crops back, test them, and incinerate anything that was truly dangerous. Once we cultivated enough safe variations, we could hand over the seedlings in exchange for labor on infrastructure construction.
I had to maintain the facade of a business deal, even if I had to force the issue. That part was crucial. We were going to be trading with them for a long time, after all. I also needed to educate them so they wouldn't be swindled by some clever scammer later on.
This was all according to the Galactic Empire’s manual for supporting planets that had regressed into primitive settlements. If you just exploit them, you end up triggering conflicts that last for centuries. It would be a nightmare if they underwent a Class Change into terrorists who were stupid but exceptionally good at violence. I knew that from experience.
Regardless, I had to raise them up step by step. My plan was to drill the concept of negotiation into their heads no matter what.
That looked like it was going to be Ren's job. She, however, was making a face.
"Why do I have to do it?"
"Because you're the Queen."
"No way! I'd rather be a maid!"
Ren always wore a face that said, "I'm actually quite competent," but at her core, she was lazy. She was lazy enough to hide the fact that she held an advanced sniper qualification just so she could work as a maintenance person. She insisted it was the "will of the Duke-type house," but really, she just hated training.
That same Ren was now grumbling, "I'll go hunting, but... I'd really rather just be a maid."
She had hated being the Great King of the Beast Race from the bottom of her heart, too. I’d only managed to convince her by promising that we would pass the baton to Maruma-kun later.
To make matters worse, she actually was an incredibly capable maid; she could even handle taking care of Wifey. She had already obtained an Advanced Court Lady Management Qualification. Wifey had even said, "I'd be quite lost without Ren."
Everyone expected her to eventually become the Head Court Lady, or perhaps even the Grand Chamberlain.
"Look, even I ended up as the King of Chronos... so just... give up already?"
"Noooooo!"
She flailed her arms and legs in resistance. Ren only acted this spoiled when it was just the two of us. It was cute.
"Um, Leo-kun, Ren-chan..."
When Kevin entered the tent, Ren snapped into a professional posture instantly. Ren, that's exactly the kind of behavior I'm talking about.
"Why don't we just let Maruma-kun inherit this planet too?" I suggested. Ren gave a quick, silent nod.
"Ah, sorry. Did I interrupt something?" Kevin laughed awkwardly.
"Nah, we were just discussing what to do with the planet."
"Oh, right. About that—take a look at this."
He showed me the results of a non-destructive inspection of the ground.
"Buried here... it looks like pollutants are leaking from what are likely ancient ruins."
"Ah... so they basically just buried them because they were leaking poison?"
"I hadn't even considered that!" Kevin said.
Kevin was dangerously naive when it came to human malice. It wasn't that he was a pampered aristocrat, but his upbringing had clearly been very sheltered. The gap in public order between different colonies was truly staggering.
"Humans are as stupid as ever..." Ren muttered.
As a member of the Beast Race, Ren had been constantly exposed to malice, so she was a bit jaded. As for me... well, if the old men back on Planet Kamishiro found ruins leaking pollutants, they would definitely bury them without a second thought and pretend they never existed. That was just the kind of village it was.
They didn't mean any harm, of course! They weren't bad people! It was just that because they lived in such a stable environment, they tended to make the absolute worst choices whenever something irregular happened. Like the useless Head of House and his eldest son charging into a battle they had no hope of winning.
I liked to think things had improved a bit now that it had become a city. Big Brother Sam, the second son, was much better at handling the unexpected. He’d been incredibly competent during the emergency, gathering the residents and leading the evacuation. Big Brother Sam... truly a terrifying child.
If I ever get tired of it, maybe I'll force the title of Duke of Chronos onto him. Among all my acquaintances, that guy is a Domestic Administration Maxed-out Unit.
Anyway, enough daydreaming. Back to work.
"So, how do we stop the leak from the ruins?"
"The Chemical Warfare Squad is going to dig it up. They told us to wait until tomorrow for the heavy machinery to be airlifted in."
"But Ozen is arriving in seven days?"
"You'll have to handle that, Leo. You can speak the Ozen Language, after all."
I mean, I can, but still! It’s basically just a dialect of the Chronos Language, so it's not hard, but... do I have to play the Great Lord again?
Then, Kevin pulled something out.
"Here, the Magellan Traditional Attire."
Oh boy...
It was studded leather that left one side of the chest exposed, complete with spiked shoulder pads. There was even a helmet with horns.
"This is even more revealing than the Ogre God Nation's clothes!"
Are you kidding me? They used to call the people of the Ogre God Nation barbarians while wearing this! These days, everyone in the Ogre God Nation wears Cervantes-branded jerseys and hoodies. If you saw them at a spaceport, you'd think you were in the Galactic Empire.
"And here's the decorative chain."
I tried putting it on over my military uniform just to see.
"My, it actually suits you,"
I looked like someone who could make a man explode just by striking a pressure point. Or perhaps like a minor character destined for an immediate onscreen death in Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
"I'm going with you this time," Kevin said.
"Just don't show your chest."
Kevin kicked me in silence.
I guess that was my cue. I should probably put on some villainous eye shadow too.
"Guhahahahahahahaha!"
I started practicing my villainous laugh in a low, booming voice. Seeing me like that, Ren completely lost it. Kevin started howling with laughter too.
"Wh-What's happened?!" Raven-kun and the current squad leader came rushing in, only to immediately double over in laughter themselves.
You guys... I'm going to hit you with my Assassination Arts Passed Down to a Single Successor!
Seriously! The next group of guys and Melissa arrived, pointed at me, and started guffawing. I was so annoyed that I decided Isono and Nakajima are going to wear the exact same outfit as me!