I started by checking the ship registries.
They weren't related to the Zen God Race, but to a country adjacent to Magellan: the Ozen Alliance.
It was a mid-tier nation formed by a collection of smaller ones. Apparently, decisions were made through a council of member states—it felt like the pinnacle of inefficiency to me.
Their military was decent enough. Just a hair better than the current Chronos Army, I’d say. Probably on par with the Ogre God Nation.
However, because they could actually be reasoned with, they were constantly exposed to the threat of invasion.
As for their level of civility... they had Latarnia Bank branches! Hmm, even more branches than the Ogre God Nation.
Yeah, that meant high civility.
We’d actually devised a way to measure a country's civility based on the number of Latarnia Bank branches. You take the population, divide it by the number of branches, factor in a mysterious figure derived from the city’s surface area, and then stir in economic scale, average age, the number of sick and injured, crime rates, and other data into a total enigma of a calculation.
Then, lo and behold!
An estimated civility value appears!
Hya-ha! I have no idea how it works!
Not a single clue!
I got an explanation from a university professor and a data analyst, but I’m still lost!
Why logarithms? Calculus? Complex numbers? Linear algebra? Whyyyy?
They told me I should have learned this at the military academy, but I left in the middle of my second year, so I wouldn’t know. That’s just the way it goes at vocational-track schools!
Wait, we did this in tactics theory?
Eh? This? The thing you calculate with a scientific calculator app? This formula? I don't actually know how to use it!
Besides, there’s no time for math on the front lines!
Oh, so if I treat this as a mesh-like surface... and predict the distribution, I get the answer?
It’s the same formula used in a battleship's missile evasion program?
I see, I see... I don’t get it at all... (I gave up).
But I’ll use the numbers anyway.
As expected, if a country is as dim-witted as Proone or the Ogre God Nation, they aren’t even worth invading.
Stupidity is its own kind of strength!
Of course, the trade-off is being treated as economic slaves.
The world is full of terrible countries.
First, I reached out via Latarnia.
They played dumb. "We don't know anything," they said. "Give us back our ships."
Why would I return them to children who can't even hold a conversation? Morons.
So, I had them dismantled for reverse engineering.
I shared the info with the Galactic Empire too. Or rather, I’d already turned the network’s core system into a Fairy. I didn't even need to call it "information sharing"; everything was already wide open.
Hahaha.
The Fairy copies were putting in work at Chronos. From a certain perspective, a dystopian surveillance state had already been born.
Not that I’m taking responsibility for it!
Now then, unlike Chronos, I hadn't yet meddled with the folks at Magellan or Ozen.
What should I do with them?
At the moment, I wasn't responsible for their well-being. Magellan wasn't a protectorate, though I’d been giving them preferential treatment for convenience.
Because of that, they’d been acting like an abusive boyfriend. "You'd be lost without me! Out of my way!" That kind of attitude.
So annoying!
For now, I kept spamming the diplomatic channels.
Ideally, I wanted a formal rescue request from Magellan. A politician might wait for them to be wiped out and then swoop in to turn them into an economic colony... but that always leads to headaches later, and the cost-performance is garbage.
I’d rather they just stay independent.
"This is such a pain..."
When I groaned, my Wifey—on screen—nodded in agreement.
"I suppose it is. Since the Lord Groom is the diplomatic representative for both the Galactic Empire and Chronos, some trouble is to be expected."
It had reached the point where people didn't even mention "conflict of interest" anymore.
Was it really okay to trust me this much? You guys should really think this through!
"I just want to flirt with Wifey..."
"As do I..."
"Wifey..."
"Lord Groom..."
"Alright, the farce is over. Back to work."
Claire cut us off. She was looking a bit frayed and irritable from lack of sleep. I knew the feeling.
"Hee-hee! I don't want to work! I don't want to deal with Magellan, and Ozen is bickering over whether to return those ships or not! They won't even ask for the crew back!"
"Oh, about that. The analysis for the Ozen ships is finished."
"What about the crew interrogations?"
"They’re insisting it was a formal military operation."
"Then we can just declare war, right!"
"Parcion is against that, though. We received a letter of protest."
The United People's Republic of Parcion.
A state dedicated to the equal treatment of all races. In practice, it was totalitarian. Not the "bright" totalitarianism of Latarnia, but the damp, gloomy variety.
Latarnia was built on promises. The state took its duty to protect Latarnians seriously. While citizens owed heavy obligations to the state, the Latarnia government was equally bound by its duty to them. It was social contract theory driven by discipline and honor.
Parcion, on the other hand, was totalitarianism for the sake of control. The citizens were obligated to obey, but the state felt no need to keep its word. People were just cogs in the machine.
Parcion might seem stronger on the surface, but when it came to genuine trust and loyalty—the real "seriousness"—Latarnia's citizens were leagues ahead.
"I will die for my people."
When even the lowliest citizen truly believes that, you really don't want to make an enemy of them. I was glad Latarnia was a nation we could talk to.
Parcion posed as a capitalist nation promoting free trade. In reality, they’d resort to any petty harassment the moment things stopped going their way.
I really didn't want to talk to Parcion.
So, I held a meeting with Claire.
The Foreign Minister of Parcion appeared on screen.
"Well, well. If it isn't the Archduke."
The "well, well" was dripping with sarcasm. I hoped he'd get a toothache.
"Minister, what a lovely day we're having..."
I unleashed my Secret Art: The 'I Have No Intention of Talking to You! Let's Just Talk About the Weather' Technique.
Nin-nin!
"Hahaha. You have quite the reputation as an Archduke chosen by God, but you really mustn't bully small nations!"
"Well, that small nation destroyed a neighbor's house and even tried to attack mine. We can't even manage to rescue the neighbors right now. Could Parcion perhaps warn them to stop attacking?"
"Return the ships to Ozen. If you do that, I shall intercede."
"Can I get that in writing?"
"Of course."
"Then... Claire. Return the ships."
"As you wish, Your Majesty."
"Eh?"
For some reason, the Parcion Minister’s eyes turned into blank dots.
"We’re preparing the return now. Though the crew will still have to stand trial."
"You... you can already do that?"
"Wait, really?!"
Of course we could—we’d already finished the analysis! I only needed the data for input, output, and range anyway. Besides, their weakness wasn't the hardware; it was their arrogance. Specifically, they were way too full of themselves. The height of stupidity.
"Y-yes, well... in that case, we shall issue a warning to Ozen as well..."
Hahaha! Victory!
I’d already predicted how this scenario would play out. They were going to complain about the prisoners being put on trial. I saw it coming a mile away!
That’s why I threw this at Parcion next:
"Regarding the rescue of Magellan... would you like to join us? Latarnia and Chronos are planning to participate as well."
Secret Art: Making Them an Accomplice Before They Know It!
The Foreign Minister looked like he’d just swallowed a bag of lemons.
Hya-ha!