I’m Claire. And I’m more than a little annoyed.
Take my Pro-wrestling Research Club, for instance. We aren’t cadets anymore, so we turned it into a corporation. However, being treated as military personnel or company employees wasn't ideal, so we eventually became a Ministry of Foreign Affairs-affiliated organization.
We put a retiree from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs at the top, while the pro-wrestlers Master Tank and Master Zaurus handle the day-to-day operations. Both of them appear on a program on the Empire’s national broadcasting station that introduces outer space, showcasing the cultures and customs of various worlds. The show is quite popular out there in the galaxy.
And so... even though we were finally going to hold a pro-wrestling event in Chronos! Even though I’d already changed! What the heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell do you mean it’s canceled?!
When the cancellation announcement came over the speakers, I just stood there blankly, clutching a folding chair. Beside me, Masked Isono—also known as Isono-kun—was equally stunned. Tears welled in the eyes of that absolute physical beast, a man who had the stamina to jump straight into a wrestling ring right after finishing a baseball game.
"You’ve gotta be kidding meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
We’d worked so hard. And it wasn’t just about the match itself. We’d researched local laws and customs to see how far we could push things, crafting a performance that wouldn't offend the locals. All of that effort was suddenly flushed down the drain.
"This is teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrible!"
Isono-kun wailed. He’d wanted to show his brave side to his wife. He pulled Nakajima-kun into a hug, and Nakajima-kun was crying right along with him. It was a bit stifling, but... I don't hate that kind of friendship.
"Forget that, we need to evacuate!"
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanh!"
Chronos soldiers, the Imperial Guard Knight Orders from the Isono and Nakajima families, and the Chronos Imperial Guard Knight Order moved to guide us out. Someone handed me a pulse rifle for self-defense. In my haste, I realized I’d accidentally brought the pipe chair with me as well.
Outside, security heavy machinery was already locked in combat with enemy units. The attackers bore the Proone flag. That shouldn't have been possible.
Isono-kun muttered, "Translation," and used his authority as a member of the Kamishiro family to access the building's PA system. Through a Proone language translation app, he broadcast the sound of grinding radulae.
Let’s see... was that a sound of strong rejection? In this context, I think it meant "Stop" as an order from a superior to an inferior. It’s hard to tell for sure, but it sounded like a Bishop-level command. The Proone language is tricky.
However, there was no reply. Far from stopping, the enemy didn't even hesitate. Isono-kun was furious.
"These fakes! Chronos Army! Eliminate them with everything you've got!"
Isono-kun pretends to be an idiot, but he’s actually quite sharp. To instantly recall a command from a Proone superior... you’d have to study their society extensively for that to be second nature. This confirmed it: this was a premeditated act of terrorism.
An instant later, a security vehicle was hit and overturned.
"Fire!"
At Isono-kun’s command, a volley of pulse rifle fire erupted. The beams struck the targets, but they didn't do much damage. They seemed to just dissipate upon impact. I suppose combat humanoid heavy machinery is built specifically to withstand rioters armed with rifles.
"Fine, I get it. Speakers on."
Isono-kun toggled the microphone.
"You bastards! You call yourselves Proone? Don't make me laugh! Those are Latarnia police models—current production models diverted from the black market!"
"How can you tell?" I asked.
"The only thing that can nullify a pulse rifle like that is Galactic Empire processing! These are Latarnia's newest models! Damn it, we can't do anything against them. Let's run!"
But as we tried to retreat, the machine charged straight for us.
"Claire! We’ll draw its attention. You take down the pilot."
"Eh? But—"
Isono pointed significantly at my pipe chair.
"Come on! Show them the spirit of the Kamishiro family!"
"Uooooooooooooooooooooooh!"
Isono-kun and the others charged. Even so, they had a plan. They used a net launcher designed for use against pirates to snarl the machine's limbs and kill its momentum. While it was pinned, I sprinted up the stairs.
I leaped from the second-floor balcony!
I slammed the pipe chair with all my might against the cockpit window and landed right on the machine's shoulder. It didn't break, of course. The Chronosian inside the cockpit actually laughed at me. I bashed the window with the pipe chair again.
"Idiot! It's bulletproof!"
I knew that. I had a reason for hitting it with the chair. It was all for the sake of the performance.
It was about time. I hopped down to the ground.
"Guhahaha! How foolish these Empire people are!"
"Three."
I patched my voice into the speakers and began the countdown.
"What?"
"Two."
"H-Hey, wait, you don't mean—"
"One."
"S-Stop!"
Boom.
The humanoid heavy machinery exploded. It was a Zork grenade. I’d planted it the moment I jumped onto the machine.
"Alright, secure him."
The Knights moved in to grab the culprit. It was a new Latarnia model; he wasn't going to die from an explosion of that scale, though he likely had a few broken bones.
Suddenly, cheers erupted from the crowd.
"Amazing! She took down a robot with her bare hands!"
"B-Bare hands! And she’s just a girl! That’s incredible!"
"You moron! That’s the King’s lady!"
"H-Hey! Does that mean the King can take down robots with his bare hands too, since he’s a Galactic Empire citizen?!"
"Of course he can! He’s the King chosen by God!"
For some reason... the story became that I’d defeated combat heavy machinery with my bare hands. N-No, it was a grenade! I used a grenade!
Isono-kun looked at me with pure pity.
"Give up, Claire. This is the fate of anyone who gets involved with Leo..."
"Ehh..."
I’d like to think I’m still firmly on the side of normal humans.
We dragged the pilot out; he was a Chronosian.
"Luna-chan, check his ID, please."
"Right away, Claire-chan. Let’s see... he’s a member of the Chronos Liberation Front. He’s currently a wanted man."
"What are the charges?"
"Suspected of hiking salt prices and illegal grain resale."
"How petty!"
Petty or not, in a Chronos suffering from food shortages, those were capital crimes. In fact, there was a specific reason those crimes were treated so harshly. We had to isolate such criminals in a dedicated prison just to keep the citizens from lynching them.
[Even Grand Duke Leo is enduring enough to collapse from malnutrition, and he’s only asking us to bear with it for a little while... what the hell were you thinking!]
That was the level of fury the citizens felt. Leo was spending his own money to import things like milk for the children, after all. Of course they were angry. When we’d caught a few others before, the prison itself had been under siege by a mob. That was the reality here.
Because the Grand Duke is enduring, I will too. Many citizens felt that way.
The culprit was apprehended, but not before being kicked repeatedly by the surrounding crowd.
"Claire... can you stop them?" Isono asked.
"Impossible."
"Yeah, thought so."
"Ah... but don't let them kill him. I want to know the background of this."
When Isono made a gentle announcement to that effect, the lynching finally stopped. Then, the crowd turned their cheers toward us.
"Go for it, Madam!"
I was evacuated under a shower of mysterious encouragement. And so, the prejudice that Galactic Empire citizens could defeat robots with their bare hands continued to spread.
I’m telling you, I used a Zork grenade!
Still, one thing had been bothering me from the start... Why was the enemy using ballistic weaponry?