"Ugh... I really don't want to do this photo shoot..."
Rikochi was muttering complaints to herself.
Despite her protests, she was decked out in full-body armor. She had insisted on hiding her face, so she wore an opaque helmet from a set of chemical warfare equipment.
Wait, your hair usually covers your eyes anyway; it's not like people can see your face under normal circumstances.
Ah, I see. She was just terrified of being personally identified.
We were currently on a patch of land on Ren's planet that had been partially cleared and then abandoned. While weeds and trees had reclaimed the area like a forest, the larger trees had been felled with heavy machinery and the brush had been burned away. Apparently, this didn't have much of an environmental impact since they didn't do slash-and-burn clearing on a regular basis.
Rikochi’s equipment had been specially made for the shoot. The visor on her previous helmet had been smashed to pieces, after all.
Her shield bore the "Rose and Skull" emblem of Veronica’s fleet. I heard it represented love and death, which somehow made the whole ensemble look five times more sinister.
She had an urumi coiled around her waist. It was apparently a traditional martial art from her home planet. On her back, she wore an auxiliary energy backpack with thrusters, which allowed for short bursts of flight.
Attached to the backpack was a minigun. That was usually equipment meant for transport aircraft or helicopters. Rikochi claimed she was compensating for her poor aim with sheer volume of fire, but... of all the things to pick, you chose that?!
Even with the muscle support exoskeleton powered by the backpack, that thing had to be obscenely heavy.
"Eh? I think it’s a perfectly rational and normal choice," she told me when I asked.
Rikochi was the type of person whose sense of normalcy was fundamentally broken. That said, I had to agree on the rationality. It was certainly powerful. It’s just that most of us don't have the guts to sacrifice that much mobility. I, for one, hate getting hit.
Rikochi’s sensibilities were definitely bugged.
The director on-site wasn't our usual combat photographer, but a woman from the National Broadcasting Publishing Department.
"Um... where is Lieutenant Colonel Riko?"
"Right here."
Clank, clank.
"Lieutenant Colonel... why are you dressed like that?"
"Because I'm a mob character!"
Rikochi gave a thumbs-up. She didn't seem to realize it herself, but in full gear, her every gesture screamed 'action hero.' There was something undeniably gallant—even masculine—about her movements.
"You are a woman, right?"
Our contract stipulated that her personal data wouldn't be published, but the staff had been informed of her gender beforehand.
"I am."
Since it was established information, she answered honestly.
"Then let's begin filming."
Kaboom!
An explosion went off. She struck a pose against a backdrop of flames.
Damn, she looked cool! It was exactly like the vibe of a hero's photo book.
Rikochi opened up with the Gatling gun. Rikochi demolished heavy machinery with her urumi. A manly Rikochi gave a thumbs-up while shouldering a massive log for no apparent reason.
It’s because of stuff like this that everyone imagines you as a muscle-bound dad with a mullet and sunglasses, you know.
Rikochi then boarded Usapyon. The emblem had been forcibly repainted from the usual "USAPYON" to the "Rose and Skull."
Wait a second. I just realized that Usapyon was actually a really sleek, sophisticated machine that an expert would appreciate. It was seriously cool!
Her unit was fast in its own way. If the Massacre Night was characterized by a martial arts-like agility, Usapyon moved like an American football player. The sheer forward pressure was overwhelming.
Even when surrounded by combat heavy machinery, she broke through the encirclement. When they fired net launchers to capture her, she simply dragged the net and the machines attached to it all the way to the goal.
Since it was based on the Massacre Night, its power output was staggering. It made sense why it was a candidate for the Empire's next-generation standard machine alongside Eddie’s unit. Might truly was power. In the hands of the right pilot, it was the kind of machine capable of monstrous feats.
"Now, please spar with me."
Right, my turn. I was to spar with Rikochi while they filmed. The reason they chose me was that I and the Massacre Night were the most popular. The video media featuring us sold quite well.
As usual, Rikochi swung her urumi.
"I can't even get close!"
I unusually brought out my shield. There was no way I could dodge that thing! Note that the Massacre Night's shield wasn't particularly large. I'd made a mistake; I should have gone with a full-body shield.
"Here I come!"
"Gah!"
I caught the urumi on my shield. This specific urumi was special—made from a new material cultivated from a Zork's carapace. It was light, flexible, razor-sharp, and incredibly durable.
My shield actually dented! Even though it was a Zork-shell composite reinforced by a personal shield! I genuinely thought it was going to shatter. My only option was to close the distance for a grapple.
I charged, letting the urumi slide off the face of the shield. I'd sparred with Rikochi many times before. She knew exactly what I was trying to do.
Rikochi immediately discarded her urumi. I threw away my shield in turn—it was already cracked, anyway!
Rikochi drew her kattaras. They were vicious weapons consisting of a knife attached to a set of brass knuckles. The blades were serrated, radiating pure killing intent. She held one in each hand.
I swung my katana.
"Doryaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
"Oryaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
With a sharp metallic clang, my blade was caught between her two knives. Dammit, I messed up!
I immediately threw a strike with my right hand, slipping an uppercut under her kattara.
"Not happening!"
She countered by simply tackling me with her entire body. Before the impact landed, I jumped to dissipate the force and used the momentum to put some distance between us.
Phew! She really was strong. She was just as difficult to deal with as Eddie!
"Okay, cut!"
The signal to end the shoot came from the filming crew.
Whew! Saved.
Until recently, I could afford to hold back, but now... if I didn't go in with the intent to kill, I wouldn't be able to win.
When I climbed down from my machine, Rikochi called out to me.
"Leo-kun, how was I?"
"Y-You've gotten really strong. Next time, if I don't start with the intent to kill from the get-go, I'm definitely going to lose."
I felt the lingering pressure of having faced a true powerhouse. It was exhausting. I’d used too much mental energy; I needed something sweet. I munched on a nutrition bar to calm my nerves.
"Wow, we got some incredibly powerful footage!"
The filming crew looked absolutely delighted. I, on the other hand, was just slumped over.
The list of opponents I struggled with—the ones I wasn't certain I could beat—was Melissa and Eddie. Now, Rikochi had joined their ranks. It was true that I hadn't used my Death Blaster, but then again, she hadn't used her minigun or pile bunker either.
No way. Next time, I'm pushing this job onto Melissa or Eddie.
And so, the filming concluded.
A few days later.
"TASTE MY WRATH! (Dubbed with a deep, gravelly voice)"
Kaboom!
Rikochi posed gallantly in front of a pillar of fire.
It was said that the misunderstanding regarding Rikochi's identity raced across the galaxy like wildfire.
I'm done worrying about it.