The knights of the Kamishiro Clan showed off their gallantry by fetching us treats from the festival stalls.
One-oh-one, Tatiana, and Shiyun’s eyes sparkled at the sight of the seven-colored cotton candy.
I figured it was probably safe to reduce our security detail on this planet. After all, it was a military world, and we were essentially among family. Besides, there were plenty of scary-looking guys from Public Security and Military Intelligence lurking around.
With that in mind, I let the knights buy whatever booze and snacks they wanted. They deserved to let their hair down once in a while.
Apparently, they ordered the yakitori from an actual izakaya instead of a stall. For us, they brought back chocolate-covered bananas, candy apples, and candy crafts. The fact that they didn’t buy any okonomiyaki, yakisoba, or grilled corn was likely a subtle hint that I should make those myself. In other words: "Please don't give us food poisoning."
I took some stomach medicine, just in case.
I had a feeling I’d be forced to host a fair-themed party later anyway. Come to think of it, if I just framed it as a festival for Zashiki-warashi-chan, it would probably work out. Let’s see, if I categorized it that way, I could probably pull the budget from this department...
The day after I submitted my Free Fair Plan, Isono’s wedding finally began.
As it turned out, Isono had been confined in a basement leading up to the ceremony because there was a legitimate fear he might try to flee just for the sake of a joke.
"I wouldn't do something like that, you idiots! Hanako-san! I love Hanako-san so much it hurts!" he had apparently been screaming, but knowing him, it was entirely possible he would have tried it anyway. I suspect every single person involved felt the same. Even Lady Hanazawa, while claiming to trust him, had consented to his confinement on the grounds that he was indeed capable of such a stunt.
And so, we attended the wedding in our best attire. The women wore elegant dresses, while the men were in formal suits. I escorted Wifey into the venue.
"You look lovely today, too."
"Huhahahaha! I certainly do!"
"Truly, the Best Woman in the Universe!"
"Nuhahahahahaha!"
I led Wifey toward the hall as the herald announced our arrival.
"Her Imperial Majesty the Emperor has entered."
Normally, I’d be worried about being scolded for upstaging the bride and groom, but with Wifey, there was no avoiding it. The Emperor, who was supposed to be in deep space, had personally come to the wedding of a powerful noble from the Pro-Emperor Faction. That alone elevated the prestige of the event by several orders of magnitude.
To make matters more impressive, the leader of the now-subjugated Republic, the Saint, and several foreign dignitaries were also in attendance. It was an unprecedented moment in the history of House Isono and House Hanazawa.
Lady Hanazawa likely already knew about the Jester Multiplication Project. It was practically guaranteed that they would become relatives of the Imperial Family in the future.
"Oh my, how did our boy become so important?!" her family was probably thinking. I imagine they had to go to extreme lengths to prepare for this.
While only a few hundred people were inside the actual venue, the event was a massive undertaking on a scale of tens of thousands when you counted the relatives, vassals, and knights watching on monitors at secondary locations. If you included the citizens watching outdoor screens and the media broadcasts, hundreds of millions were tuning in.
It was a feat only possible by pooling the resources of the Trading Company, the Entertainment Agency, and the Kamishiro Group. Because of the sheer scale, we couldn't do this too often. Nakajima would probably just register her marriage for now and have a ceremony in six months, followed by Eddie.
I already planned to visit Nakajima for a more intimate "Wedding Congratulations Party" later.
Actually, wait—this is completely different from what I was told! I was under the impression I was attending a modest wedding as a simple friend! No wonder the volume of orders sent to Claire's territory had reached a level that made me question everyone’s sanity. My stomach... my stomach was starting to ache.
"Lord Groom, you seem to be worrying about the cost of this ceremony... but I assure you, it is cheaper than fifty warships."
"What a shocking confession!"
The guest list was equally staggering. Every general was in attendance. Furthermore, Lord Marma, the head of a surviving Duke-type house, had traveled here specifically for the occasion. Thomas and Cyrus were there as well. And then, there was us—the Zork War Hero Group.
What this meant was that the Isono main house was already being treated as a Duke-type family, with the added prestige of being considered relatives of the Imperial Family.
The ceremony began with the singing of the Imperial National Anthem. A diva had been summoned—apparently a very famous opera singer. Naturally, I didn't recognize her. Most high-ranking nobles would, and I’m sure my brother would have known her as a matter of course. But since I’ve been in the military since middle school, I never learned that stuff. I simply didn't know!
The Isono and Hanazawa families probably didn't know her either, but they were doing a very good job of acting like they did. The military brass seemed to... well, they looked like they knew what was going on. Here I am, a Brigadier General who managed to wedge himself into the elite just by marrying the daughter of a military owner-president, yet I have zero class! I don't understand opera at all!
When the anthem ended, I joined in the applause. Phew. I didn't mess up. Still, if they were doing something with this much cultural sophistication, it meant Isono definitely hadn't planned the ceremony. That was a relief.
"Now, Lord Groom, regarding the reason Isono was locked in the basement..."
"Oh no, is this going to be a scary story?"
"No, it seems he secretly tried to replace the opera singer's performance of the national anthem with an Idol Live show. It was discovered right before the start, which is why he was hauled off to the basement."
"It wasn't because he was going to run away?!"
"That was part of it, but the fear of sabotage was even greater."
"What about the idols? They must have been booked already, right?"
That would be a lawsuit waiting to happen. They’d be hit with demands for compensation, and it would likely become a permanent Net Tattoo on the family's reputation. It was a serious threat to the Isono main house's credibility.
"It seems they decided to have the idols provide commentary for the wedding and perform live during intermissions at the outdoor venue for the citizens. They invited other celebrities as well and turned it into a charity event for Zork Disaster Victim Support. When they did that, even the national broadcaster decided to air it. It turned out to be a massive success."
"Why does Isono’s mischief always end up bringing good luck to the people he drags into it?"
His ideas were usually awful, yet the people caught up in the wake of his nonsense always seemed to come out ahead.
"Could Isono be a Jester too?"
"No, that is unlikely. He possesses a low-level Telepathy Ability, but that is all. If anything, I suspect it might be your influence, Lord Groom."
"I don't remember using any powers, though..."
Good grief.
After that, Wifey gave a speech, followed by one from me as his direct superior. Then, they put embarrassing photos of Isono as a child on the big screens. There were several outfit changes, with Lady Hanazawa swapping into different dresses. They did the cake cutting, and the wedding concluded joyfully.
...Something was wrong. Even though that bastard Isono was involved, there hadn't been a single incident. He should have ruined something by now. Or was that it? Was the confinement specifically to ensure nothing went wrong?
We shared a look. The only one our parents truly trusted was Eddie. Next time, we’d probably be the ones getting locked in a basement.
Well, next up was the family-only party at Nakajima’s place. By the way, how far exactly does the definition of 'family' extend?