I am Jester.
I refuse to let them force a gloom scenario on us.
Wifey and I were both beyond furious.
I didn't like that they made my junior sister suffer, and I didn't like how they manipulated her so that her only path was to become the absolute ruler.
I feel for those involved, but I'm going to smash this scenario to pieces.
First, the press conference.
I announced that we had reclaimed the Imperial Capital from the Ghouls.
I gave the casualty figures and words of condolence.
I also announced that Latarnia, the Galactic Empire, the Ogre God Nation, and the Taikyoku Nation would launch a joint investigation into why even children—who should have been immune—had died.
I stated that the First Consort and Lao had been killed in the riots.
I also mentioned that a successor to the Emperor had to be chosen.
This was where I would dismantle the First Consort and Lao's grand plan.
Starting with that absolutely infuriating idea of exposing their severed heads.
"In Latarnian culture, the desecration of the deceased is strictly forbidden."
I got that on the record. Latarnia is dependable in moments like this.
"According to Galactic Empire customs, cremation is the rule whenever infectious diseases or parasites are suspected."
This was the scientific angle. More accurately, we don't really have a custom of burial.
Our religions consist mostly of Gaming Monks, and Zashiki-warashi-chan's shrine is Cyber Shinto. I suppose it's very much a trait of Japanese culture that the appearance gets flashy while the core remains mostly the same.
Other religions are rare. They're barely visible on the surface. Actually, the entire population is loosely irreligious.
People only really interact with religion during New Year, Obon, Christmas, New Year's Eve, or for major life milestones like weddings and funerals.
In our household, we deal with various religions because of Wifey's connections, but that's an extreme rarity.
Melissa's missing mother was Indian-descended, and Tatiana's home colony apparently followed some cross-like religion, but both of them have blended into Gaming Buddhism just fine.
In their war-casualty funeral preference forms, both of them have circled 'No religious preference.'
Consequently, if we got into a religious debate, our lack of genuine faith would quickly show its flaws. For now, I pushed for cremation based on epidemiological grounds.
You've likely guessed by now. Yes, I'd already coordinated with Latarnia.
I would bulldoze through this using Latarnia's requirements. The demand of what was effectively an occupation army was simply: "Perform a proper funeral." They had no choice but to accept.
Those pathetic people who let their country be stolen by Ghouls had no right to object.
Conspiracy theories might crop up claiming they were actually alive, but that's still better than putting their heads on pikes. I will absolutely not follow the path they tried to set.
We held a small funeral in the Taikyoku style, attended by us, the representatives from Latarnia, Shiyun, and the others.
General Lao has a family, including his grandson's household, but they refused to attend the funeral out of fear of collective punishment. I can't say I blame them.
We cremated the bodies using a cremation device for Galactic Empire soldiers and placed the ashes in the Mausoleum of Successive Emperors and Their Families.
That was one item checked off. A relatively simple demand was met.
Next was the matter of who would become Emperor.
Personally, we didn't care if it was Shiyun or not. Half of me felt like, "Whatever happens to this country isn't my business," so if there was a volunteer, I was happy to leave it to them.
First, I spoke with the members of the collateral branches.
"If Prince Min does not ascend the throne, we wish to seek asylum."
Oh. I had anticipated a hellish power struggle over the throne, but... No one wanted to be the Emperor.
And when I tried to contact the old men who seemed to hold the real power, they were dropping dead one after another. Even their successors were all supporters of Shiyun—or rather, Prince Min.
So, I hosted a dinner for the highly competent General Woo. We dined at a restaurant in one of the Taikyoku Nation's premier hotels.
"Is there some kind of loophole where Shiyun doesn't have to become the Emperor?"
"There is."
He looked directly at me.
"Grand Duke Leo Kamishiro. You could simply become the Emperor yourself."
"...I am the groom of the Galactic Empire's Emperor."
"That is the issue. In that case, here is a compromise. First, we establish a parliament to fill the political vacuum. Let's see... we can minimize chaos by including representatives from the Forbidden Army, the Regional Army, and the Eunuchs. Lady Shiyun will study abroad in the Galactic Empire to learn modern political and military science. She can handle her duties remotely. We will make the necessary arrangements to accept an Empress by the time she returns. No one gains anything from her having to undergo a sex change just to take the throne."
"What should I do?"
"Please support Lady Shiyun. ...And, if the Taikyoku Nation has been taken over by the time Lady Shiyun returns, please just conquer us. This time, I doubt anyone would complain."
"Understood."
In short, we were kicking the can down the road. But this time, it would probably be allowed. I hope.
Meeting adjourned. As I thought... he was a warrior who had survived an age of turmoil. To be honest, he was terrifying. It wasn't a physical intimidation or the fear of being scolded; it was the terrifying feeling of being ensnared in a massive, intricate plan.
I told Wifey exactly that.
"Lord Groom, thou art of the same ilk."
Is that what people think of me?! And here I am, a pacifist!
The next day, we finally arrived at the regional city where Shiyun's foster parents had lived. After activating Tatiana's barrier, Shiyun and her "big brother" found the bodies of the General and his wife.
I had Shiyun's personal guard and the health authorities recover them to determine the cause of death. It was Ghouls.
General Woo reported it to the Forbidden Army and arranged the funeral. Many people from the military and the neighborhood attended.
Shiyun participated in the funeral without revealing her identity as Prince Min. It seemed she was able to find closure and grieve properly.
Per Galactic Empire policy, they were cremated. The locals were upset by this, but they had to be persuaded. The last thing anyone wanted was for them to be buried, only for some unknown Ghoul biology to cause them to resurrect.
We burned them thoroughly until nothing remained. So far, there hasn't been any significant unrest.
The only real problems are a shortage of cremation devices brought from the Empire and a lack of personnel to run the funerals. That was how exhausted the Taikyoku Nation had become.
Latarnia, our forces, and even the Ogre God Nation had strictly prohibited looting. The demands of the occupying nations were minimal: "Don't expose heads" and "Use cremation."
Protests broke out in various regions, but we had no intention of stopping them. The authorities simply focused on providing scientific and rational explanations. If they couldn't understand that, then no words would ever reach them.
After the funeral was over, Shiyun returned to the battleship.
"Welcome back, Shiyun," I said.
"Brigadier General, sir! Private Second Class Shiyun! Reporting for duty!"
Tatiana and One-oh-one lunged at Shiyun, pulling her into a hug. The three of them held each other and wept.
Watching them, I felt a strange sense of relief. For Shiyun, this place was already her home.