Tatiana activated the device.
An entire planet, completely liberated. Now, that was where the real trouble began.
I didn’t have a clue how the device worked, and we couldn't exactly take it apart to poke around. To make matters worse, the site had instantly become a holy land for Latarnia, the Taikyoku Nation, and the Ogre God Nation.
Wifey didn't waste any time. She announced the successful activation in a joint statement with the Ogre God Nation and Latarnia. Apparently, the highest-ranking priests from both countries were dying to meet Tatiana, so I let them have an audience while Wifey and I sat in.
Was I supposed to call these bigwigs "His Eminence" or "His Holiness"? I didn't have the foggiest idea.
When we coordinated with both sides, they just said, "It is wonderful enough that you are asking. Please, call us whatever you like."
Evidently, the Saint was first in the hierarchy anyway.
I decided to stick with "Lord" for everyone. I didn't know the first thing about religious protocol; it's not like we're believers. Putting them on too high a pedestal felt wrong, but looking down on them was also out of the question. I had to show some level of respect to these "gaming monks" and shrine personnel.
Since I’d already admitted my ignorance, I figured I’d just lean on their generosity and hope they'd overlook any accidental rudeness.
I really had no idea what I was doing!
And so, the conference began.
Facing the representatives of both nations, Tatiana spoke up.
"Um... you keep calling me a Saint, but I’m just a clone. I’m a fake."
The representatives just beamed at her. One of them, an old man with massive horns, let out a chuckle. He probably saw her as a granddaughter and found the remark charming.
"That is of no consequence. You are our Saint, My Lady."
A Latarnian woman of indeterminate age smiled alongside him. It was always hard to guess a Latarnian’s age just by looking, especially the women. They all looked so young! The men, even if they looked young, usually gained a bit of dignified bulk as they aged...
She chimed in to support him.
"Indeed. Whether you are a clone or not is irrelevant. It was you who activated the ruins, My Lady."
"I-I see..."
I patted Tatiana on the head. Good girl, good girl.
"Ugh, Big Brother. Could you not do that in front of people?"
The dignitaries laughed at that.
"It seems you two are quite close."
"Our girl is a good, honest kid," I said. "I’d appreciate it if you didn't put too much pressure on her. Let her grow up at her own pace."
"Big Brother..."
The main issue was Tatiana’s status as the Saint. I’d let them meet her, sure, but I didn’t want her schedule getting buried in duties.
"Might we at least have her likeness?"
"That... Tatiana, they’re asking for a gravure shoot."
"I’m absolutely not doing swimsuits."
"As if I’d let that happen."
It would be a wholesome shoot, obviously.
"But Big Sister Kevin..."
"I told you, that was for the enlightenment of the Female-type Zorks. Besides, they didn't even do a swimsuit shoot."
Actually, come to think of it, the only ones forced into swimsuit shoots were us guys. We showed off our muscles for all they were worth!
Wifey, who had been quiet until now, finally spoke.
"I will permit it, provided the photos are not ones she dislikes. Tatiana, surely something like the last shoot would be acceptable?"
"Ugh... if Big Sister Veronica says so..."
"Then it is settled. Next! Shiyun! Shiyun! Saria!"
Shiyun, One-oh-one, and Saria entered the room.
"Private Second Class Shiyun, reporting. Friend of the Saint."
"One-oh-one, here! Queen of the Zork!"
Saria, meanwhile, looked absolutely miserable.
"I’m Saria. I hate every second of it, but I’m the Great King of the Ogre God Nation."
Lately, Saria had been running himself ragged governing his country. Day after day, he was tied up in duels with Humanoid Fighters.
He’d already joined the ranks of the "solo clear" elite in the simulator. Thanks to training from the previous Great King, his martial arts had improved too. He was already being hailed as one of the strongest in the history of the Great Kings.
"And yet I’m a merchant!"
Is he still on about that?
Because he was a merchant, his economic policies were actually going quite well. As a former manager of a major corporation, he lived by a simple rule: "Leave it to the experts, don't meddle, and focus on creating the right environment." He put a lot of weight on diplomatic talks with Latarnia and the smaller Battle Dome Member Nations.
Working for a boss like Saria would probably be a breeze.
The Ogre representative bowed deeply to him.
"Great King, it has been far too long."
"It has. I’m only here to say one thing: the Battle Dome will be the sole point of contact for anything involving these three. That’s all. I’m going home."
"Oh no you don't."
I grabbed him by the collar and shoved him back into his seat.
"Agh, fine! Tatiana-chan! Please, become the Savior of the Taikyoku Nation! I’ll bow as much as you want!"
Saria really was a merchant to the core. He was the type who would prostrate himself if it meant getting a deal for free.
"Saria-san... I mean, Great King Saria. What do I actually need to do?"
"Shiyun-san, there are more ruins like this, aren't there?"
"Yes, even in the capital..."
"And you’re hiding something, aren't you? The Saint’s final fate."
"...Yes."
Shiyun’s eyes went dark.
That was the final chapter of the Saint Legend. If the Saint had been a Jester, she should have been nearly impossible to kill. But there are always exceptions. Normally, a Zork could have killed me, too. Even our abilities have their limits.
"The Taikyoku Nation feared the Saint as the Witch of a Fallen Nation. They mobilized the military against her."
I could believe it. Even in my previous life, international aid workers were often treated like garbage by locals or attacked by militants. The idea that doing good keeps you safe is a fairy tale. If an entire army was sent after her, even a Jester would be overwhelmed.
Well, unless you were a healthy young soldier like me.
"Did the Taikyoku Nation cover it up?"
"It happened so long ago that I can't say for certain. But they likely succeeded in striking her down."
The lack of records was an answer in itself. Something horrific must have happened.
In that case, maybe I'll just activate the ruins out of spite. We'll skip the capital for now...
"Tell me where the ruins are. I’m going to activate every last one of them."
"Y-Yes!"
Wifey stood up.
"The Galactic Empire shall execute the Saint Operation!"
And so, we committed ourselves to the Saint Operation, with Tatiana at its heart.