I finally understood the history of the pitiable Zork-chan.
Those guys really drew a rotten hand.
The Ambassador didn't explicitly say it, but he was likely implying the Ghouls were in the same boat.
Actually, the Proone probably were, too. Most likely.
The Proone collapsed because their culture and systems hadn't matured in time.
Capabilities that matched one's stature were indeed the safest.
After all, I'd been jerked around by a power that didn't fit my own stature called Jester, and I'd nearly died several times because of it...
I was probably the only one who could truly understand their anguish.
Well, Brigadier Generals, Ministers of Foreign Affairs, Archdukes... a Second Lieutenant was still fine.
I could forgive being a Captain.
But everything from Field Grade ranks and up just didn't fit my stature at all!!!
An Archduke was still okay. Since Wifey was the Emperor, even an Idiot Lord could be forgiven.
I could just delegate the work to competent people.
But a Brigadier General? No way!
That was a rank you reached after becoming a lawyer in a military court and winning the promotion race!
That rank was never part of my life plan!
The responsibility was way too heavy!
I felt like I was going to collapse one day, too.
Anyway, it was time to get back to Ghoul extermination.
Basically, it involved crushing the transmission routes and providing treatment, just like with Schistosoma japonicum.
The transmission vector was mosquitoes.
Well, checkmate.
There was no way to truly eradicate things like malaria, after all.
Exterminating mosquitoes was an impossible task.
Therefore, treatment became the priority.
A mass inspection of the ship revealed that a few people were infected.
The fact that it was only a few was likely thanks to the Fairy's AI-controlled spider-type drones.
Just in case, we performed a total disinfection of the hydroponic cultivation facility.
In the chaos, I disposed of things like those Infinite Strawberry Seedlings, those Infinite Tomatoes, and the Water Spinach—which was now essentially a weed.
It was fine!
I had an abnormally large stock of seeds!
I'd been told to just eat the ripe fruit parts, though.
Consequently, the dining hall held a tomato festival.
Most of the strawberries were sent to the confectionery factory for Latarnia.
I thought about these things while boiling pasta for lunch.
I was making Arrabbiata.
Seriously, the sight of me pondering things while cooking had become so commonplace that no one even bothered to comment on it anymore.
I talked with Wifey and the others while eating the completed eggplant Arrabbiata.
Even Melissa, who usually refused meetings on the grounds of being a combatant, would participate if I used my cooking as bait.
"I'm booooored!!!"
Melissa complained.
I bet you were.
Once the testing method was figured out and we opened the lid, it turned out the damage to both the Pirate Guild and Latarnia was immense.
Both factions were furious that their reputations had been dragged through the mud.
Old Man Eyens was now cooperating with the Galactic Empire, the Ogre God Nation, and Latarnia to crack down on the Ghouls.
It was nothing short of a comedy that the pirates were too busy to commit any actual crimes.
Now, time for some self-reflection.
Actually, I'd recruited some Onee-samas from the nightlife districts to deal with Latarnia and the Pirate Guild.
Since it was too late to tell them they weren't needed, the first contingent was operating in the Battle Dome and Latarnia.
I provided training to the Onee-samas being dispatched to Latarnia, as well as to some of the former Onii-samas who... lacked "the equipment" down there.
I told them, "Never make promises. I can't guarantee your lives."
Marriage fraud was basically a death sentence, after all.
That was strange...
The former Onii-samas were actually more popular.
Their sales were nearly double.
I'd even put up a warning note stating they were former Onii-samas!
I didn't understand Latarnia.
I was a married man, so I didn't get it. (I quietly averted my eyes.)
Oh right, speaking of being married!
Piggett had called me to the dojo...
And then he'd cried.
It was about how our morning kiss habit had been discovered, stemming from the parasite issue.
I thought I was going to get punched, but he just wept and said, "Thank you for taking good care of Wifey."
As the one who had raised her, Piggett's feelings seemed complicated.
I mean, it was a zero-day-dating marriage, after all~
He knew our relationship wasn't bad, but he apparently hadn't expected us to actually be in love.
Wifey wouldn't have gone out of her way to tell him, either.
Setting that aside, there was the issue of Melissa's boredom.
But look, there currently wasn't any combat~
There didn't seem to be any factions within Latarnia that viewed the Empire as an enemy.
Compared to the Proone, there was a world of difference; even compared to the Ogre God Nation, their reputation wasn't bad because they were open to discussion.
In the Ogre God Nation, Saria's opposition forces had self-destructed.
At most, maybe the Pirate Guild was a concern?
It must have been hard for Melissa, a hardcore combatant.
Hmm, what should I do?
"If you're bored, do you want to be my guard?"
When I said that, Melissa's eyes sparkled.
Raven-kun, please stop the highlights from disappearing from your eyes.
And so, Melissa and Raven-kun became my guards.
Furthermore, since Melissa was also a Count House Head, Melissa's Knight Order was there too.
They were the rank-and-file people from her family dojo.
Word had it the dojo was being swamped with new students because of its reputation for guaranteed employment.
Even some of my Imperial Guard Knights were asking Melissa for spots.
The Empire's birth rate was low overall, but in the rural areas, there were still nobles with many children.
In those cases, everyone below the second son was forced into being a NEET without a position.
If they were dirt poor like my family home, they'd think about joining the military to send money back, or like Eddie's fiancée Minerva-san, going to the university division on a military scholarship. But houses with money had their pride to consider.
Higher-ups in the police bureaucracy and judges had just enough money to care about their prestige, which made things difficult for them.
Their worldview dictated that getting into the National Imperial Capital University was the only acceptable path. (The Faculty of Medicine was the exception. Medicine was justice.)
They claimed that the Military University Division wasn't a "real" university.
That was what Amada said.
Shut up! All I knew was the military!!!
I, who had once considered going to an agricultural or industrial high school if I failed the Imperial Junior Academy entrance, couldn't stop the tears!
So, I was actively hiring the second and third sons of nobles.
I also actively hired commoners as long as they were obedient and didn't cause trouble!
Actually, it was at the point where people told me "we still don't have enough vassals for the Archduke House" no matter how many I hired.
It was like I was building a municipality the size of Tokyo from scratch...
How was the youngest child of a name-only Marquis House supposed to know how to do that?!
And so, it turned into a daimyo procession with Melissa and her knights, and Raven-kun and the House Kamishiro Knights trailing along.
The Idiot Lord was making his grand entrance.
I felt like Ii Naosuke today.
My lucky color was the assassin-colored potato tracksuit.
My lucky item was a rifle for shooting legs.
Setting that aside, the Ghoul problem was being shelved for now.
Since it had been found that they had no base, we had no choice but to eradicate them epidemiologically.
Did that mean the pirates were next?
The pirates were being quiet, too.
Old Man Eyens was busy crushing the Ghouls, after all.
Needless to say, those days of idling away my free time didn't last long.
I'd expected as much.
After all, it was me.