A horde of Yankees swarmed toward Katori-sensei.
It wasn't just Pirates.
The Latarnian Yankees were right there with them.
Some of the idiots had brought clubs, Beam Swords, and even handguns.
Wait, the guy with the gun was definitely an assassin.
But Katori-sensei just kept smiling.
Ah... yeah, this was the experiential Theme Park: [The End of Idiots].
Crack!
He first thrashed the assassin trying to draw his piece.
The man was sent flying into the spectator stands on a clean parabolic arc—a home run!
He slammed right into a jumbo display.
Notably, not a single person tried to catch the foul ball.
They were too busy running for their lives.
Security personnel eventually carried the man off to the on-site hospital.
It was fine, totally fine.
With my Gag Correction and Nanomachines, he should be able to recover!
...Provided he didn't die instantly, anyway.
The Yankees suddenly came to their senses.
Or rather, they were forced to gain a very correct understanding of the situation.
They had come here to discipline a group of cheeky, inferior people.
Instead, they realized they were inside a cage with a beast named Katori-sensei, and they were nothing but the bait.
"Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!"
One man screamed.
Panic spread like a chain reaction.
It was far too late to have second thoughts now.
Hyah-hah!!!
"T-This isn't what I heard! How can there be a monster li—geburah!!!"
The guy holding the Beam Sword found himself stuck in the large display next.
That was a relief.
The image quality on those was a bit subpar, so I'd made sure they were the kind we could replace immediately.
"Ora ora ora ora oraaa!!! Don't you dare run!!! Entertain me!!!"
"U-Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!! Everyone, get him!!!"
A passionate display of friendship between the Pirates and the Latarnian Yankees.
I couldn't watch it without being moved to tears.
Such a heated joint struggle...
Crack!
Figures.
Since it was on the verge of turning into a literal bloodbath, the curtain was brought down with a TKO due to the opponents losing their will to fight.
That effectively shut down any idiots planning to barge onto the stage after the match.
Now, while I'd made certain promises to Latarnia regarding the tickets, I hadn't promised anything about the management side of the event.
If they complained, I'd just say, "Hey, we held the tournament properly, didn't we!"
The terms of service clearly stated: [Walk-in participation allowed. However, your life is not guaranteed]!
I’d even had multiple Latarnian Lawyers verify those terms!
Latarnia might be a loan shark with muscle, but the Galactic Empire was a bunch of hardcore, martial-arts-practicing Yakuza.
We were actually quite compatible, if you think about it.
After replacing the jumbo display, the second match moved to outer space featuring Uncle Piggett.
He was about to show us a refined, veteran battle...
"Numerous Pirate signatures detected. There are far too many who don't know the value of their own lives,"
Fairy-san sighed.
"Fairy-san... are those guys actually stupid?"
I'd never do something that reckless.
You could tell Piggett was a monster just by looking at him!
"I suppose they became Pirates because they’re idiots~"
"I guess so~"
I was already praying for the souls of the opponents and the surrounding morons.
However, the Pirate opponents failed to—or rather, couldn't—read the room.
"Don't look down on me, you inferior filth! I'll slaughter the lot of you and sell the women to perverts! What's with that brat calling himself Emperor? Right in front of a guy named Leo..."
Before I could even think "Ah!", the Pirate's cockpit was shot clean through.
That was a hard no. Absolutely not.
Bad-mouthing Wifey in front of Piggett was the ultimate taboo!
She was basically like a daughter to him!!!
After all, Piggett was the one who raised Wifey!!!
"I will not permit irreverence."
His voice was absolute zero.
It was enough to make my balls shrivel.
A completely enraged Piggett began systematically exterminating the Pirates.
Seriously, the moment he locked eyes with you, it was a dead end.
He used Ultra-precise Shooting to snipe the pilots directly.
Entertainment?
There was none of that here!!!
The moment they insulted Wifey, they were already dead.
If they'd just kept their mouths shut, they might have gotten away with just a broken neck or spine...
At this rate, we were looking at a Pirate Extinction Scenario.
"W-Wait! I didn't say anyth—"
Ka-boom! A Humanoid Fighter exploded.
I contacted Wifey in the VIP Seats from the Management Headquarters in the Backyard.
"Please stop him."
"Lord Groom. Do you have nothing else to say to me?"
"I love you. But the sports vibe is completely dead now, so please stop him. I'm beggin' you... I'll let you kill the Pirates later anyway..."
"Very well. 'Piggett! Cease!'"
She stopped him, but it was already too late.
Piggett had already completed the extermination of every single one of them.
The spectator seats were dead silent.
Well, yeah. There was no way to brush that off with an "it was just a prank."
You guys crossed the line.
With Katori-sensei, people could still laugh it off.
But this was a result that seemed perfectly natural even to me.
I found out later that a Latarnia High-ranking Official had written a memo at that exact moment.
[Strictly forbidden: Disrespect toward the Emperor in the presence of Galactic Empire citizens.]
Exactly.
If it were me, I'd probably kill them while making it look like an accident for entertainment's sake.
But either way, the moment they said it, they were dead men walking.
"You killed them on purpose, didn't you!?"
A few idiots started shouting, but they were promptly hauled away.
Well, yeah, obviously.
"Oh my, Leo-kun. The Latarnia Ambassador is reporting to his home country: [Sever ties with the Pirate Guild immediately! Cut off the financing! Demand immediate repayment!!! We were wrong! The Galactic Empire isn't some clever, soft-hearted pushover!] It seems he chose to send the report even knowing we might intercept it."
"Oh my. Maybe we overdid it a little."
It seemed Latarnia had learned their lesson through a precious sacrifice.
The Ambassador probably thought they held the high ground until now...
I'm just glad he was a smart guy.
Next up was Masked Isono's turn.
I know, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about.
Mexican-style music began to blast through the arena.
Apparently, it was the traditional music of Isono's hometown.
Isono made his entrance.
He was wearing a mask and was absolutely feeling himself.
He'd really worked on his physique for this.
His abs were shredded.
"Masked Isono has arrived!!!"
Chudoon! Set-piece Fireworks erupted on the Special Stage.
And look at that... the audience members are idiots.
They'd already forgotten the massacre from five minutes ago. All it took was the sound of fireworks.
Nice one, Isono!!!
Isono leaped into the ring.
Can I just say one thing?
Buddy... you definitely wanted to join the Pro-wrestling Research Club instead of the Baseball Club, didn't you?
More fireworks. This time, spinning Set-piece Fireworks. Sizzle-fizz.
His opponent was a massive man.
Apparently, he used to be a bodyguard for the Pirate Guild.
If Isono was a Junior Heavyweight, his opponent was a Super Heavyweight Class.
But that guy Isono... he didn't look scared in the slightest.