A dystopian wonderland where entertainment had ceased to exist.
That was the true nature of this galaxy.
People only ever talked about brawls, women, and drugs.
...Were they just a bunch of rural Yankees?
Technology was reserved for war. Power was held by the moneylenders.
The strong did as they pleased while the masses were bled dry.
Even the VIPs of middle-tier nations failed to notice how twisted it all was.
Into this void, the Empire had introduced sports, art, music, and pro-wrestling.
One could say Proone had been the rebel that tried to change things.
Even the Ogre God Nation, despite having values closer to the Empire's, had lacked any real entertainment.
We weren't necessarily trying to train professionals.
We were just introducing these things as tools for communication.
Even movies back home started with nothing more than clips of people in costumes playing catch.
The level of perfection didn't matter. Not one bit.
I decided to start by creating a system where fees were paid to illustrators and designers.
I’d slowly become able to read documents in the Ogre God Language, but...
They only had one font.
The concept of "design" simply didn't exist as a habit.
Well, there was a little bit of it, but it was usually just a matter of personal flair within the bounds of tradition.
So, right now, I was working with companies and individual designers to develop new fonts.
We were starting from that far back!
Come to think of it, design was everywhere in our society.
With that in mind, it was probably best to use the Illustration Lecture as a gateway to lead them into industrial design.
Cool designs were the ultimate form of propaganda!
On that note, I decided to have Saria’s unit built in the Empire, even if I had to accept the risk of our tech being stolen.
"I've already grown used to piloting Imperial Humanoid Fighters. How many times do you think I've used the simulator? I've even memorized this machine's quirks!"
If piloting wasn't an issue, then let's build it.
We teamed up with a military trading company and poured a massive budget into hiring designers.
It was to be a Great King-exclusive Machine.
The people at the trading company were fired up, saying they were "itching to get to work."
Then, Saria's Papa, who had been idling about, showed up.
"Make one for me too."
"Sure thing. Just make sure you pay for it."
"You bet!"
Saria's Papa was a troublesome old guy who actually got offended if you didn't treat him with the casual bluntness of a comrade.
I figured it would be good publicity, so I submitted the budget request.
Approval came through instantly.
There was plenty of cash lying around from the useless projects the idiots in the Duke Association had been funding—projects we were now systematically shutting down.
Since we were essentially pitching Imperial technology, no one turned us down.
The meetings proceeded at a brisk pace.
Business World Bigwigs—the kind of people I never would have met as the youngest son of a mere titular Count House—were now clamoring for my time.
This was probably the biggest change since I'd become a Grand Duke.
Having a degree of budgetary authority over the military and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs was one thing, but they seemed to view me as a "God of Wealth Machine" that just churned out money.
I was essentially the gatekeeper for Outer Space Trading, after all.
Economic magazines were desperate to put photos of me on their covers—usually the ones where I'm wearing a suit with my arms crossed.
Personally, I would have preferred a shot of me driving a forklift in work clothes or operating heavy machinery.
Wifey, however, only allowed them to use sharp, professional photos, like the ones where I was saluting.
Anyway... what I was trying to say was...
I was bored.
The pirates had started avoiding us.
There was likely a collaborator within the Ogre God Nation's military.
I wasn't angry.
If I were a pirate, I'd do the same thing.
So, I started flooding the Ogre God Nation with a mix of truths and lies.
"A culture far more addictive than drugs is coming!"
That sort of thing.
In reality, winning at almost any sport felt better than drugs anyway.
The brain just flooded with natural highs.
Granted, once you get close to the professional level, people start using drugs as painkillers, which creates a whole new set of problems.
But I didn't need to worry about that for now.
Simultaneously, I ramped up the crackdowns.
Hahaha!
Idiots!
My army is world-class when it comes to playing tag with pirates.
I wouldn't be joining them, though.
Hence, the boredom.
After finishing work, I headed to the shrine to play catch with the Zashiki-warashi.
Waiting for me there was a pack of idiot boys holding straw dolls.
They were all in Yankee squats, weeping tears of blood.
Even the Zashiki-warashi looked completely repulsed.
"Um... drop dead?" I offered.
"Shut uuuuuuuup! This is an uprising, you moron!"
"Why are you so pissed off?!"
"You! Don't you realize what you've done?! Because of you... because of you... the Officer Academy girls have become beautiful!"
Ah, that.
Thanks to Adam-san's makeup lecture, the Officer Academy girls had finally learned how to use cosmetics.
And as a result, they looked great.
Makeup had been forbidden at the academy.
Normally, they wouldn't have scrambled to learn until they reached the University Division, given they were all Count House Heads.
But thanks to Adam-san, they’d gained enough skill to hold their own anywhere.
Seeing the girls become so stunning, the idiots were clearly full of regret.
"So... drop dead?"
"Diiiiiie! You're the only one who gets to be popular! To arms, men! Kill Leo!"
Boys armed with wooden swords began emerging one after another.
Wow. They'd really gathered quite a crowd.
I hate it—men's jealousy is the worst.
"That's why I told you guys! I told you the girls were cute!"
"Shut uuuuuuuuuup!"
I raised my bare hands to take a stance.
Just then, someone else lunged into the fray.
An intruder? At this timing?
"You fools! I'm backing Leo!"
It was Eddie.
Two more joined my side.
It was Isono and Nakajima.
"Warrior of Love Isono! I'm with Leo too!"
"Warrior of Justice Nakajima! I shall assist you in the name of righteousness!"
"Wait, you guys... you're on my side?"
I'd fully expected them to be among the attackers.
"Hmph, we've learned our lesson! We'll be more popular if we side with Leo! I'm going to get my fiancée to praise me!"
"Exactly! My fiancée is on Leo's side! I'll suck up to my enemies if it pleases her!"
As expected, those two were consistent pieces of trash.
It was actually a relief!
The three of us made short work of the other boys.
After all, we were the three strongest males in the unit.
Easy win. We beat every single one of them to a pulp.
"So... why exactly did you do this?"
I sat down on the pile of groaning idiots and asked.
"We... we wanted to settle things before getting married!"
"Are they actually stupid?"
I remembered a report saying that several boys had been approached with the idea of "just registering the marriage for now."
Apparently, their partners' families were pushing for it.
Since they were guaranteed winners within the Empire now, the parents probably wanted to lock in their status as soon as possible.
"Are you seriously having Marriage Blue this late in the game?"
"You're the one who threw our hearts into turmoil!"
I mean, sure.
A romance with a classmate is like a "Life Achievement Unlocked" moment.
But it was too late for that.
Eddie offered a calm, blunt assessment.
"You guys are morons."
Exactly!
The idiots ran off, wailing.
"Stupid! Moron! Drop dead! Waaaaaaah!"
I didn't even know what to think anymore.
Ah, right... this was a galaxy filled with nothing but Yankees.
That meant people like them were the ones being suppressed.
If a real major power ever showed up, we might actually be able to dismantle them.