The Ogre God Nation.
Individually, they were strong, but their coordination was pure garbage.
They had carried out a suicide attack with a small destroyer and got themselves sunk in the process.
You people!!!
Destroyers had specific roles and positions for a reason, you morons! Why were they performing a Charge in a small-scale vessel?!
Their job was supposed to be providing support with radar and sensors, or firing missiles at fighters—humanoid types included! Or maybe using their speed to harass the battlefield. They couldn't even manage basic tactics. They were on a lower level than we were.
"Saria... what exactly is wrong with the Ogre God Nation's military education, you idiot?"
"Leo-san, your true feelings are leaking out. It's a system that values individual physical strength to an extreme degree! That's why I never wanted to be the Great King of the Ogre God Nation! Ah, jeez! Ogre God Nation! Please, rescue your comrades!"
"How have you guys even managed to hold a middle-tier position in the galaxy with that attitude?"
"We've become too optimized for fighting those idiots from Proone and the Ghouls! We've been at war with them forever!"
Wifey looked equally exasperated. She began issuing commands.
"Transport the survivors here."
"Veronica-dono..."
"If it's the Empire, there will be no unnecessary complications."
In the middle of that exchange, I completely forgot. I didn't actually think of those guys as my comrades. My ability's effectiveness was determined by my own subjective view of whether a buff should apply.
Which meant...
"Rescue team here! Most of the victims are already dead!"
It was hell.
"This is bad! Tatiana and One-oh-one are in the clinic!"
Tatiana was the real concern. This would bring back memories she didn't need!
"What about Kevin!?" Veronica asked.
"She's doing what she can with the drones!"
"What a disaster... Have Tatiana and One-oh-one fall back—"
"Warrant Officer Tatiana has collapsed!"
No!
Just as I stood up to address the worst-case scenario, a voice echoed in my mind.
『Ah, I can't breathe... I can't... Help me... Big Brother Leo.』
"Huh? Was that Tatiana? Telepathy!?"
It was telepathy. In an age of advanced communication tech, telepathy was a laughably useless skill—about as effective as a tin-can telephone. But it was the final line of communication when things were truly dire.
I scrambled to my feet.
"I-I'm coming! Hang on!"
"M-Lord Groom!"
"Tatiana called for help via telepathy! I'll be right back!"
"O-Oh! Leave things here to me!!"
The moment she said that, I heard Tatiana's voice again.
『Big Brother Leo... lend it to me...』
In the next instant, my recovery skill activated. It was the strongest level of healing ability, inherited from the Inner Palace Elder. It was a mysterious skill I had no control over. I’d never once been able to trigger it of my own volition. Even after becoming a Sage, it remained elusive. And yet, it had suddenly flared to life.
You had to be kidding me.
"L-Lord Groom! What happened!?"
"The Elder's ability... it activated!"
Explaining all that had taken up most of yesterday.
As for today, things had taken an even more bizarre turn. First, we captured the Ghouls; I planned to interrogate them later. But the more pressing matter was Tatiana. As a Field-grade Officer of the military, I was currently conducting an inquiry at the clinic where she was resting. Since she was technically my subordinate on the organizational chart, it was decided I should be the one to hear her out.
"O Saint."
When I arrived at the clinic, the Ogre God Nation soldiers who had been admitted for treatment were for some reason worshipping Tatiana.
Tatiana shot me a desperate look, begging for help.
I get it, I get it!
"Uh, excuse me, guests. The Saint is exhausted after yesterday's miracle. Please let her rest."
"W-We didn't realize! Our deepest apologies, O Saint! Please, rest well!"
I managed to extract Tatiana and headed to Wifey's office.
"I... I don't have the face of a Saint, no matter how you look at it, sir..."
She looked genuinely frantic.
"What actually happened?" Veronica asked. "We cannot tell from the witness reports. The Ogre God Nation soldiers are in a state of total confusion."
"My ability turned out to be 【Mimicry】, sir," Tatiana explained.
Mimicry. It was a common copy-type ability. It was supposed to copy low-level ESP... and yet she'd managed to copy the Elder's power?! Even I couldn't use that freely!
"Wait, isn't that incredibly impressive?"
"That's not all, sir. Remember when I warped? That was from the sleeping One-oh-one."
"Doesn't that make her the strongest?"
Honestly, did we even need anyone else if we had Tatiana?
"What is with Jesters, sir?! This is just ridiculous!"
"Well, we are pretty nonsensical creatures... But what's this about a Saint?"
"After I treated them, they started praying to me, sir..."
"O-Oh. That sounds... rough."
"It is rough, sir! I mean, seriously! When you think of a Saint, you think of someone refined and kind, with huge breasts, right?! Not a flat-chested runt with freckles and scary eyes like me!"
"O-Oh... Uh, regarding that specific image, your superior and educator, Kevin, said she wants to talk to you later."
That was definitely the influence of those Erotic Doujinshis. I was glad I’d been broadcasting our conversation to Kevin simultaneously. If it had just been me, I probably would have let it slide.
"You snitched on me without a second's delay!"
"Humans... sometimes have to sell out their comrades to survive... No, that's not it! What do you mean by 'Saint' anyway?"
"I don't know, sir!"
Just then, a correspondence came in from Saria. I had a terrible premonition.
"O-Oh, Saria-kyun, what's up?"
"Why has Tatiana-chan become an object of worship!?"
"I don't know either! Apparently, she used her ESP to heal them, and now they're bowing down to her!"
"Uwaa! That's exactly like the Saint Legend!"
"The what?"
"It's the Ogre God Nation Creation Myth. A Saint descends from the heavens, takes pity on the Ogres who do nothing but slaughter each other, and saves them. Oh boy... she went and reproduced it perfectly..."
I looked at Tatiana. She was making a huge 'X' with her arms over her chest, shaking her head frantically. No way, no way, no way.
"Help me, Wifey."
I turned to Veronica.
"Even I... no longer know how to handle this," she admitted. "Politically, I would love to exploit this for all it's worth, but she is a precious Junior Sister to me as well. I shall have to give it some thought."
"Fair enough."
Even Wifey was at a loss. What a mess.
"Tatiana... let me give you one piece of advice. People often exaggerate the reputations of us Jesters far beyond our own self-evaluations."
"I suppose, sir. This power seems great on paper, but... it's a useless ability unless I'm around people with high potential."
She had a point. It could easily become a dead skill. Even if she copied a vanguard skill like physical enhancement, she was too small for me to want her on the front lines. And something like Pyro was better handled by actual weaponry. You really needed to be at the level of someone like Edge for it to be truly viable. But this time, the pieces had clicked perfectly into place.
So...
"All I can say is... give up. Just go with the flow."
"It's not a joke when it's coming from you, Big Brother Leo."
And so, the Saint Tatiana Legend began.