Even though it was called a war, most of the time was spent either traveling or waiting around.
This was one of those waiting periods.
Led by Isono, the athletic-minded Ministry of Foreign Affairs squad—myself included—had ditched our armbands and shifted into full vacation mode.
One-oh-one and Tatiana, who usually worked in the hospital sector, were off duty as well. Kevin, Melissa, and Ren were also enjoying the break.
We were all lounging around the usual dining hall, dressed in our standard-issue Officer Academy tracksuits.
The common soldiers were whispering as they watched us.
"Hey... isn't that the Archduke?"
"He's wearing a tracksuit from the Officer Academy..."
"Don't nobles usually deck themselves out in designer brands? Most of the people over there are at least Counts, aren't they?"
"I mean, they're Second Lieutenants at minimum. Shouldn't their pay be pretty good?"
"I don't know, man. The Archduke was grilling takoyaki the other day."
"And Nina-chan, the girl working in the dining hall? Isn't she a Count and a Second Lieutenant too?"
"Man, is the Empire going to be okay like this?"
This is getting bad, I thought. But I was exhausted, so I ignored it.
Still, I couldn't just sit there forever.
"One-oh-one, want some hotcakes?"
"I would be honored, sir!"
"Then help me out. You too, Tatiana."
The two of them snapped to attention and followed me into the kitchen.
We started grilling hotcakes. I knew I'd just get shaken down for food if I didn't make enough for everyone, so I kept the griddle full.
"One-oh-one, grab the whipped cream from the fridge. Tatiana, get the berry sauce and chocolate sauce. Also, grab some random fruit from the freezer."
"Yes, sir!"
As I worked, Kevin and Nina-san showed up to help. Nina-san jumped right into her role as a hotcake shop worker. I left the plating to Kevin, who had a real talent for it.
"Hey, you boys! Start serving!"
"Ugh! Leo, you're gross!"
After the usual banter, the guys started carrying the plates out.
While I was grilling, I remembered something and asked the Turtle People if eating soft-shell turtle cuisine was a taboo for them. Direct communication was important; after all, different species had different cultural perspectives.
The answer was: "It's considered grotesque cuisine, but we don't have any strong feelings about it."
I guess that made sense. We didn't care if the Turtle People ate monkeys, after all. The only reason the Proone were a problem was that they were actively eating us.
Mutual understanding was a tricky business.
I kept grilling single-mindedly, organizing my thoughts as I worked. Then, a ship-wide broadcast cut through the air.
It was Wifey, her voice crackling with irritation.
"Lord Groom and his gang! Stay right there in the dining hall! And you'd better have a hotcake grilled for me!"
I wondered what that was about. I’d planned to bring some to her later anyway, so the timing was perfect.
A moment later, an obviously fuming Wifey marched in, followed by a procession of her Imperial Guard.
"Ah, would you all like some too?"
I was a man of action. I'd already grilled enough. For the older guys in the guard, I drizzled a little rum over theirs for the aroma.
"...Fine. Imperial Guard, you may eat."
For Wifey, I went extra heavy on the whipped cream.
"Here you go, Wifey."
"Thank you... No, wait! That's not the point! Listen to me, all of you!"
She seemed genuinely furious. I wondered why.
"Because of you lot, unrest is spreading through the military! Everyone's starting to think our pay scales are too low!"
"What?!"
The tracksuit squad let out a collective cry of protest. The pay was actually great; we just didn't know how to spend it, and we lacked both the expensive hobbies and the free time to indulge in them.
"Tell me, what have you all been spending your salaries on?"
"I have!"
I raised my hand enthusiastically.
"I have nothing but a bad feeling about this, Lord Groom."
"In case I ever get kicked out of the military, I took a remote course and got my large civilian spacecraft license!"
"...I expected as much, but that?! That's it?!"
"Since I'm a soldier and cleared the required credits, I got a partial waiver, so the license acquisition fee only cost me four hundred eighty thousand credits!"
"Disqualified!"
For some reason, I was given a failing grade. What was with this unreasonable judgment?
"There's no way I could ever kick the Lord Groom out anyway!"
"Wait, really?"
Is that true? Can I really believe her?
"Yes, Your Majesty!"
Next, Eddie raised his hand.
"O-Oh, Eddie?"
"I sent an allowance to my parents and forwarded the rest to my territory!"
Almost everyone nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it's all about the allowances."
"It's too much! You're all Counts, aren't you?!"
Wifey let out a roar. Then, Isono raised his hand.
"I bought a sports car!"
"Y-You did what?!"
"Heh heh heh... Though it doesn't look like I'll actually be able to drive it for a while."
Everyone was stunned by Isono's bold move. Finally, something that actually sounded like a rich person's purchase!
"Y-Your imagination is so impoverished! To people like you, that's practically pocket change! And Isono! Hire a driver! Don't you dare drive it yourself!"
"Ehhh..."
Then, Ren's eyes gleamed.
"I bought a whole cow! When the meat arrives, we're all having a barbecue!"
"What?!"
In a world where synthetic meat was the norm, a whole cow! Incredible!
"Ho? And where did you buy this?"
"It was a fandom tax payment to an agricultural planet!"
Ah, the system where you pay local tax to a place you like and get local products in return!
"Invalid!"
"Eeeeeeehhhhh!"
Despair spread through the group.
"Wealth management is hard!"
I threw in the towel too. I spent my salary however I wanted, but the income from my territory went right back into the local economy. My pay from the military and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs was mostly funneled into future investment savings, with the rest sent back home.
But because I'd set up an agricultural corporation and a company—making me a business owner—the money tended to come back to me with interest. No matter how much I tried to waste, my balance wouldn't go down.
"In your case, Lord Groom, surely there's something! Like buying out an entire movie theater!"
"Already did. That complex commercial facility near the new station on my home planet? I own the whole thing."
"O-Oh."
I'd left the management of my territory to my steward and his team. Since the corrupt officials who'd been lining their pockets under the Duke Association were gone, the people who remained were both brilliant and honest. When I gave them free rein, the development progressed at a terrifying speed.
My personal assets had reached a scale that an individual couldn't possibly manage. I'd turned it all into a foundation and just took a salary from it. Even that foundation received imperial subsidies for various projects. It was all so complicated that even I didn't fully grasp the big picture anymore.
I mean, I had my own personal accountant, lawyer, and tax accountant! It was absurd! But when I'd decided on a whim to get that large civilian spacecraft license, I was able to pay the fee in one lump sum.
If that wasn't being rich, what was?!
"That's exactly my point! First, you need to change out of those Officer Academy tracksuits!" Wifey yelled.
"But they're so comfortable!"
"Keep them in your rooms!"
Ehhh.
Our celeb life was still a long way off.