I wasn't a fan. Brawls were just so barbaric.
I watched the negotiations unfold with that thought in my head.
Via the Battle Dome, the Great King formally announced a Battle Royale to settle the succession following the loss of his throne.
I'd wondered how they would handle things like a constitution, but it turned out they relied on Unwritten Law—basically, a build-up of customs and judicial precedents. In other words, things were decided by "vibes" or "the mood of the room."
Most things were determined by legal precedent, at least.
The Empire, on the other hand, operated on Statute Law. It had a rigid, written code, which made everything easy to understand as long as you could read. I was glad to be a citizen of the Empire.
Now, as for what the Proone had pulled...
First, those slugs had taken the Great King’s absence and the declaration of a Battle Royale and run wild with the interpretation. They’d decided that since the King had contacted us, he was legally dead.
Then they framed their military intervention as a legitimate entry into the Battle Royale.
As if that would ever fly.
Unsurprisingly, the citizens weren't buying it. No one is going to be convinced when you tell them, "From today, you are all our food."
However, it seemed the Proone possessed the technology and the know-how to domesticate other species. Apparently, once two generations passed, the original race was guaranteed to go extinct.
Naturally, the citizens were enraged. Riots—or rather, resistance movements—broke out everywhere. Even the security forces joined the rioters and continued to fight back.
The Great King's subordinates—the powerful local families—were also furious and dispatched troops to the Battle Dome. A full-scale war with the Proone was now unavoidable.
And then, the Great King here met with the Self-proclaimed Great King over there.
"It has been a long time, Mishra."
Mishra appeared on the display. He was the Great King’s son and the one currently calling himself the king. He was glowing in seven different colors like a gaming rig. It just looked cheap, honestly.
"Father. How does it feel to have fallen from grace?"
"I'm worried that the citizens will be wiped out by those slugs, son. Why on earth did you team up with creatures like that?"
"Father, you are naive! If we only team up with the Proone, we too can join the ranks of the galaxy’s top brass!"
"There’s no need to become the 'top brass.' Now that Zork is gone, the surrounding area would be at peace if we just defeated the Proone. More importantly, the benefits of revitalizing trade with the Battle Dome would be far greater... actually, whatever. Let's just settle this. The one who is right wins."
The muscle-brained logic of that last part was just too much.
"Very well! On this side are myself and the Proone warriors! And on that side... the newcomer Empire? Hahaha! You have faces like monkeys!"
"Uki? Ukiki? Uki?"
Since it annoyed me, I started mimicking a monkey. Saria chided me immediately.
"Leo-san... please don't do that now of all times."
Seeing me act like that, the idiot got even more carried away.
"Hahaha! Look at this monkey!"
Yeah, this guy was definitely a moron. I continued the act.
"You weak. Me, kill you all. Ukiki."
I picked my nose and scratched my butt for good measure.
"You inferior creatureeeeeeeeeeee!"
Oh, he snapped. His mental state was incredibly fragile.
"Yeah, yeah, you big dummy. Come on, bring it on! Even though you’re just running away from Saria!"
"...Wh-What!?"
Oops, he was completely livid now.
"Who did you say is weaker than Saria?"
"You, man, you. No matter how I look at it, you’re weak. From what I can see, you have no guts and no spirit. You’re dim-witted, too. Since your personality is twisted and your face is ugly to boot, there’s not a single way you could beat Saria."
Mishra's face turned a deep shade of crimson.
"Fine! I accept the Battle Royale! Listen well! I will kill you, and only you!"
"Go ahead and try if you can, ukiki."
The enraged moron cut the connection. I turned and high-fived the Great King.
"Ayyy."
"No, no, no, no! What did you just do?! My older brother is the second strongest warrior after my father..."
"It’s fine, it’s fine. Saria is plenty strong."
Saria looked toward the Great King for help.
"Actually, what Lord Leo says is not wrong. Saria, you became stronger than Mishra a long time ago."
"Oh, give me a break..."
Wifey was just giggling the whole time.
"Wifey, don't you have anything to say?"
"I do not mind. I only care that my husband is not looked down upon. If you had just sat there and taken it, I would have been the one to whip your backside."
I see. That's my Wifey.
A few days after I wrecked the meeting, we arrived at the Capital Planet of the Ogre God Nation.
There was no interference. As expected, it seemed that assassinating Saria or me beforehand was forbidden. It appeared the battle would take place in a Colosseum built in outer space, just outside the capital.
"The Battle Dome is handling the broadcast... although I was removed from the project!" Saria was still fuming. "Aargh! Honestly! Even though I worked so hard to get promoted to Area General Manager! My career is a total mess!"
He really was an overachiever at heart, wasn't he? Thinking that, I contacted Wifey.
"Um, Wifey, if I die, please just fire the cannons wildly while you tuck tail and run."
"Lord Groom will not die. If you were the type to die from something like this, you would have been dead long ago."
Since she said that, I had to make sure I came back in one piece.
"Well then, I'm off!"
I deployed along with Melissa, Edie, Isono, Nakajima, and the others. Saria, who didn't have a personal unit, deployed in the Great King's machine.
"Leo-san! I haven't piloted for five years, you know!"
"It'll be fine. You did the simulator until you felt like puking, didn't you?"
I had made Saria train on that specific simulator—the one modified for the Ogre God Nation's control system—until he was half-dead. Since he had been able to clear it in Solo Play, he wouldn't be a burden.
I caught sight of the slug machines. Their silhouettes looked like Western monks holding maces. Suspicious as hell.
The idiot's machine was the one with the ridiculously large horns. I wondered if horn size was like the size of the "final weapon" in a boy's pants—a "bigger is better" kind of deal.
"Imperial dogs! You actually showed up!"
"Uki? Ukiki!"
"...I'll kill you."
Don't get so mad that your veins pop, man. What a stifling guy.
We landed at the venue.
"What does everyone think?"
"Captain, I'm certain there's a trap," Melissa said. I agreed. There was no way they wouldn't set a trap.
"What do you think, Edie?"
"Leo should just fight as he pleases. Just tear right through any traps they have."
Fair point.
Just as I was about to psych myself up, I received a communication from Master Katori.
"Master, what's up?"
"Ah... I forgot to tell you. Here."
An notification for an Imperial Swordsmanship Master License was sent to my terminal.
"What is this?"
"Now, listen carefully."
"What's with the suspense?"
"You're already stronger than I am."
"Huh?"
"Leo, you've been holding back against me for quite a while now. I think it started right around the time you settled things with Zork. I want to say I have nothing left to teach you... but there were the forms. I've crammed all of those into you through actual combat formats. Congratulations!"
"O-Oss."
"And so, representing the Swordsmanship Community, I'm giving you an order. Show the outer universe that Imperial Swordsmanship is the strongest! Do not hold back! Wipe those slugs out!"
"I like the sound of that!"
Alright, time to get fired up.