The Ogre God Nation. According to Saria and her dubious expression, it was a monarchical state.
Its people were the Ogre Race—at least, according to the translation. I assumed the name meant they were beings who had transcended their original species. They weren't like the ogres we knew.
Apparently, their base species also had horns. The Ogre Race had repeatedly undergone genetic engineering enhancements from that original stock, eventually wiping out their predecessors.
Eek, how terrifying!
The recruits of their military served as the Gatekeepers for the Battle Dome. In other words, if we couldn't beat the Ogre God Nation's fresh meat...
"Then slavery is a certainty♪ Oh, or you could be livestock for meat, too♪"
All right, I'm going to kill them with everything I’ve got.
But before that, I decided to ask just in case.
"Does the Ogre God Nation eat humans?"
"Of course not. We are forbidden by our precepts from eating anything that resembles an Ogre."
Then I won't hold a grudge. If they were man-eaters like those Crabs, I wouldn't have let a single one of them return home alive.
"What are the rules? I'm a pilot, so I want to use a Humanoid Fighter."
I made sure to clarify the regulations. The fact that there were rules at all meant they were still beings I could negotiate with. That wouldn't have been the case with Zork.
"The use of boarding weapons is permitted without limit. However, if you bring out a battleship, we will bring one out as well. This is a 3-on-3 Team Match. While it is stated that the life or death of the participants is irrelevant... I wouldn't recommend killing pointlessly."
"Life or death is irrelevant," she said. Good grief.
It was a scary thought, but I wanted to tell her to read the room. Even the gladiators of the Roman era were assets and part of a business. The audience wanted to see an exciting match, not a gruesome execution. In fact, once they leaned too hard into the murder-show route, the popularity of gladiators tanked.
"Hey, you're running bets, right? Can I bet on myself?"
"That's fine. Since you probably don't have our currency, I'll buy your supplies from you~. Ah, this is wonderful! Living beings that can actually be reasoned with! If it were Zork, they would have just attacked immediately!"
Zork... it seemed they were loathed to an extreme degree here as well. Most likely, the first people they encountered weren't the Battle Dome folks, but a group even more impossible to talk to, causing them to close off their hearts entirely.
"Wifey."
"I have already given the order!"
After that, we worked out the finer details, like "Can we bring in our own cameras?"
"Let me meet the Ogre God Nation's side."
"To prevent match-fixing, please do so after the match. Besides, the Ogre God Nation won't bother negotiating with anyone they haven't fought."
I suppose that made sense. The conversation proceeded with surprising speed.
"It's actually a bit scary how well we can communicate."
"From my perspective, it is your abnormal understanding of showmanship that is terrifying, Lord Groom."
And so, the plan was set. I left Edge and Piggett behind just in case the worst happened and I bit the dust. Therefore, our lineup consisted of me, Eddie, and Melissa.
Why this group? Because the Ogre God Nation likely had the mindset of martial artists. I formed a team of members who could understand those feelings and read the mood.
I debated having Claire go out and do some pro-wrestling, but I ultimately went with Melissa. I didn't know if the Ogre God Nation had a culture that could even grasp the concept of pro-wrestling.
With that, I boarded Massacre Night and headed to the designated location. The match would be broadcast throughout the Empire and all regions associated with the Battle Dome. Even if I died here, I would surely become a legend.
...Actually, I was suddenly starting to get scared. The battles with Zork had always been life-or-death struggles without a second's thought. I hadn't had time to actually contemplate dying.
"Melissa..."
"Hmm? What's up, Captain?"
"Can I run away?"
"Ahahaha! Of course not. What’s wrong with you?"
"I suddenly got scared."
"Ahahahahaha! You’ll be fine, you’ll be fine. Because you're the Captain, after all."
"Waaaaah!"
Even I would die when my time came.
"Hmm, well then, what should I do? Tell you what—if you come back safely, I'll let you feel my breasts."
"What... did you... say...?"
At that moment, my brain cells sparked to life.
"Uoooooooooo!!! I'm gonna do it!!! Let's gooooo!!!"
My face morphed into the intense expression of a protagonist from an old robot anime as I roared. Then, a Fairy with a look of utter exasperation appeared in the corner of my monitor.
"Leo-kun... I'm telling Ren-chan."
"Why Ren?!"
"Because Ren-chan is the one with the highest 'humidity' of them all."
Nooooo!
"Ahahaha! I'm sure even Ren would forgive you!"
"You're right!"
With my head full of breasts, I entered the Colosseum. The structure was an artificial facility built in the vacuum of space. It featured a platform like an Octagon, which seemed to be our battlefield.
The Empire chose a team battle format consisting of three one-on-one matches. I would be the Vanguard. If it was me, I could respond flexibly even if the other side tried something dirty. Breasts.
...No, that would be rude to my opponent. I had to stop thinking about breasts. Breasts.
The Ogre God Nation's athlete emerged. The opponent's machine was warrior-themed, reminiscent of the Kamakura period. He was brandishing a Naginata.
I chose a sword. I knew a sword was technically at a disadvantage against a Naginata, but it was the weapon I trusted most among my repertoire.
Saria was making some kind of announcement. An explosion went off, and fireworks lit up the venue. A correspondence came in from Wifey.
"Lord Groom. The next firework is the signal to begin combat."
"Roger."
There was the boom of an exceptionally large firework. My Clown and the Armored Warrior dashed forward simultaneously.
However, I was faster.
"H-He's fast!" Saria cried out in surprise.
Well, yeah. That’s what happens when you’ve been fighting Zork. I closed the gap with the Armored Warrior and unleashed my blade. One, two, three—a Triple Strike!
The opponent lived up to his warrior status. He blocked all three strikes. Next came his counterattack. The warrior swung the Naginata down in a heavy arc.
However, I was well-acquainted with Naginatas thanks to Isono and Katori-sensei. I dodged the blow and closed the distance. He spun the weapon around with a flourish and tried to thrust with the Butt-end.
Got your wrist. I struck the wrist with a sharp thwack, causing the Armored Warrior to drop his Naginata. Without a moment's hesitation, the warrior abandoned the weapon and settled into a bare-handed fighting stance.
I stabbed my sword into the floor and raised my fists in kind. This was good. I liked this.
Unlike the fights with Zork, there was no grudge here, no hatred. I was actually enjoying myself. The enemy threw a punch... I dodged and delivered a knee strike!
It was a feint. The enemy drew a Wakizashi. Anticipating the move, I grabbed the arm that had drawn the blade and transitioned into a Flying Armbar.
Since we were in robots, there was no pain to worry about. I snapped it all at once. The sound of screeching, crushing metal echoed through the arena.
"Uooooooooooooooo!"
I could hear the roar of the crowd. Were they watching remotely? After breaking the arm, I immediately disengaged to create distance.
The Armored Warrior stood up slowly. Of course he was still going to fight!
Now then, let's have a fun match! Breasts!