The shop staff arrived, so we held an after-party with One-oh-one and the rest of the group.
Wifey’s Personal Guard wasn't around, so we didn't really need alcohol... Katori-sensei, please stop looking at me like an abandoned puppy.
And Suematsu-san, cut out the "whining"!
What about Raven-kun...? Ah, he was of age. Got it.
When I checked with the staff who came with the mobile shop, they told me it functioned as a cafe by day and a bar by night. They even said they’d have the drinks ready!!!
Wifey... you’re a literal god!
Wait, is this kind of service normal for a typical Marquis House? I couldn't even have imagined this! I could wrap my head around renting out an entire amusement park since we’d done that before and I knew what it cost, but this was on another level.
"Cheers!"
With that, the banquet began.
It was an open-invite affair; people could come and go as they pleased, and even the General Soldiers were free to drop in. It was nice to have a night like this once in a while.
One-oh-one’s eyes sparkled as she sat before a mountain of parfaits. Tatiana was the same. Just look at the face on the girl who usually acted like, "I'm not interested in that kind of stuff"! It was a total victory on my part.
"M-Major! M-May I eat, sir?"
"Oh, yeah, go ahead. Eat your fill."
The two of them dug into their desserts. I wanted to protect this. This peaceful sight.
"P-Princess. You have cream on your mouth."
A gentleman wiped One-oh-one’s face. This gentleman was none other than Old Man Despair. Look at what a shave and a haircut could do!
"Thank you, sir."
Once the separation surgery was complete, Despair and his comrades had become One-oh-one’s subordinates. Kevin represented the victims whose Zork factors had activated, while One-oh-one took charge of those from the Former Republic.
Essentially, even if they weren’t independent as a Republic anymore, having a lord made it the same thing. As long as they didn’t do business with an Imperial Capital Company, the taxes were negligible. In the face of the Threat from Outer Space, there were nothing but benefits to this arrangement.
And so, Despair and his men became One-oh-one’s caretakers... no, her stewards and guards. It looked like they would be assisting Kevin as well.
"Hey, why don't you come join Katori-sensei’s training with me next time?" I suggested.
He gave me a gentle smile. "Once I was released from Mother’s control, I finally understood—the overwhelming performance gap between us and the Jester."
"That's a bit harsh, don't you think!?"
"Mother’s mistake, from the very beginning, was making an enemy of the Jester."
He was mocking me with that polite steward’s tone.
"I was called 'Despair' and the like... but I do not even come close to Jester-sama’s heels."
"And why is that?"
"Because the way your Comedy Space-time manifests is simply too unreasonable."
How cruel! I might be a clown, but my thoughts are entirely serious! I’m doing my best, and that is just what happens!!!
Tatiana, a fellow clown, laughed. "Ahahaha! It’s rare to see the Major on the defensive!"
"I’ll have you know that you’re a source of the Comedy Space-time too!"
"Isn't that fine? It’s better than dying on a battlefield without knowing what’s going on. It’s not 'cool,' but we don't die, right? That’s what the old Tatiana wanted."
The weight of her words hit differently. Despair and I both fell silent.
"Ah... my bad. Do you want my portion too?"
"Oh, I’ll take the strawberry on top then."
"Major!!!" One-oh-one’s eyes were twinkling again.
"Want seconds?"
"Yes, sir!!!"
Even if this was just the calm before the storm... this kind of peace felt right.
The old guys were drinking and singing. No fights broke out, mostly because Katori-sensei was here.
Claire was working her way through a Fruit-loaded Pudding à la Mode. She really did love fruit...
As I watched her, someone tugged on my sleeve. It was One-oh-one.
"Eating?"
"Yes, sir!!!"
For a split second, I wondered if she’d be okay... but since the steward didn’t stop her, I figured it was fine. Probably.
The steward was watching over One-oh-one with a doting smile until Katori-sensei swooped in and dragged him off, saying, "Let’s drink!"
The social skills of these middle-aged men were something else...
Melissa walked over and clung to me.
"What’s wrong, Little Kitten? (Insert handsome smile here)"
"Takoyaki... can you grill some?"
Nina-san was smiling as well. I guess they wanted something savory now. They were trying to hold out with a Four-cheese Crepe with prosciutto, but that was the wrong flavor profile. Ah, fine.
When I asked the staff, they said, "We don't mind at all~♪"
Still, I bowed my head as low as it would go. I’m truly sorry. My subordinates are completely undisciplined!
For some reason, I was the one stuck with the grilling. Nina-san... wait, I'm better at it than you? Oh, you're too kind!
"I'm grilling!"
I started whipping them up. The hungry mob from the officer academy immediately formed a line in front of me. You guys... you were starving, weren't you?
"Arrgh! Just get in a single-file line already!!!"
I grilled the takoyaki. The Major’s job: apparently, it was cooking street food. What even was a Major? Was this a specialized skill?
Ugh, whatever! I’ll give it my all!
"Listen up, you hungry brats! Here! Eat the takoyaki!!!"
I kept the batches coming like a machine. If we lost the war against outer space, maybe I’d disappear into the night and open a takoyaki stand.
Even the shop staff were eating them for some reason. Hahaha!
Wait, the recipe? Sure, you can have it. Use my name? Uh, Claire! I need you for the business side!
"It's delicious, sir!"
One-oh-one, possessor of an infinite stomach, wore a look of pure bliss. That was the face of someone completely conquered by food. Tatiana’s eyes were sparkling too. Melissa and even Nina-san looked delighted.
Claire was busy negotiating with the shop staff. Wait, you're calling my family home to manage the trademarks? Yeah, yeah, I'll leave it to you.
"That smells good. Give us some."
I was promptly raided by Katori-sensei and the rest of the old guard. I had plenty of batter, so it was fine.
I caught the eye of the shop staff and bowed again. I’m really sorry. I can’t keep these drunken old men in line.
By the way, where is this flour from?
Wait, Claire-saaan!!!
I’ll leave the seaweed and everything else to Claire-san.
Huh? One-oh-one, you want to try grilling? Sure. Want to give it a shot?
Oh... Wifey... please... come back soon...
The moment Wifey is gone, everyone starts running wild...
Wait, Sensei, you want ochazuke to finish the night?
Make it yourself!!!
Later, that Cafe Management Company would open a chain of takoyaki shops and see explosive growth, but that surely had nothing to do with me.