I didn't know the specifics of the Zork's situation yet.
But for them to deploy a battleship-type... They were likely coming for my head with everything they had.
I charged onto the bridge.
"Wifey! Is there a danger of self-destruction?!"
"It seems not! Apparently, that was a trump card for the Zork side as well."
In that case, we could fight normally.
"Elder Brother is heading there now. He has already sent out scouts."
"Wait, Brother-in-law Thomas?! Is he going to be okay?!"
"Cyrus-niisama is acting as his adjutant. Listen, Lord Groom. Let me correct something. In the previous expedition, the Lords, the adjutants, the Knights, Elder Brother Thomas's Imperial Guard, the sycophants, and the soldiers they hand-picked... every single one of them was incompetent. Do you know how he managed to hold out in such a hellish situation?"
"Eh... could it be that Brother-in-law Thomas is actually...?"
"Elder Brother is a born general. He is a man born with the ideal genes to be an peerless Emperor. Because of that, he was swarmed by parasites, treated like a toy, and held back by fools; he lived his life without ever being able to utilize his true abilities. If you hadn't appeared, Lord Groom, I wouldn't have stood a chance against him either. It's ironic; had he not been first in the Right of Succession, or had he been born in peaceful times, he would have been properly evaluated... Well, to be honest, I only realized this myself after seeing the analysis results."
What?! We had a hyper-competent general right here?! And he was family?!
"Uhh, then what about me?"
"Pray for your brother-in-law's safety. And for Cyrus-niisama's as well."
I didn't dislike Thomas. And I liked Cyrus, too. Wait, where was Cyrus?
"What about Brother Cyrus?"
"Lord Groom... think carefully. Cyrus-niisama is a man who understands the current situation well enough to have attempted an assassination on Father. Cyrus-niisama was born to be Thomas's adjutant. If those two are going, there won't be a problem."
In other words... All the children of Maro—who had an absurd number of kids—were geniuses?! I guess it made sense if I thought about it. Genetically, they were the descendants of a Fairy. It stood to reason that exceptional individuals would appear frequently.
"Anyway, I want Lord Groom to apply the Jester buff."
"Understood. Though it's not an ability I can manually control."
"Since they're family, the effect should be automatic."
And so, I decided to wait and see.
"...Wait. In that case, what am I supposed to be doing?"
"Arresting spies, I assume? Aren't you currently Military Police?"
Wifey pointed at my armband. That's right. I was still on duty.
"Got it! Keep me posted!"
"Roger that~"
I went to join my Imperial Guard in the crackdown on the Female-type Zork.
"Major Leo! Major Leo is here!!!"
For some reason, the women squealed when they saw me. I wasn't being treated like an idol, though. I was a married man! Besides, this was a harem under Wifey's management department! There wasn't a soul in the military reckless enough to play with fire like that.
"Thank goodness! Please, come this way!!!"
"Eh?"
The women led me to the girls' quarters. Since they weren't officers, the room was filled with bunk beds. However, unlike the men's quarters, there were toilets and shower rooms.
"Someone's barricaded themselves in the shower room."
I had no choice but to knock on the door.
"Hello, Military Police. What's the situation?"
"L-Leo-shousa!!! P-P-P-Please, run away!!!"
I felt a sudden surge of bloodlust. I spun around and swatted away an object flying toward me. I was glad I had my combat gloves on. It was a knife.
"Whoops. Did I do something to get stabbed?"
The girls who had just brought me here were now brandishing knives of their own.
"Sorry, but I can't return your feelings! I'm already married!!!"
I shouted something nonsensical and leaped into the air. Hyah-hah!!! I escaped into the Ventilation Duct in the ceiling. Don't underestimate an engineer! Katori-sensei had taught me how to make an escape route from anywhere!!!
Technically, I smashed through the vent with the force of my jump, so some fragments scratched me. It stung.
"My Lord! We will hold them here! Please escape!"
Raven-kun shouted.
"Don't kill them!"
"Understood!"
I'll leave the rest to you!
"Fairy! Call for backup!"
"I have already sent the report!"
I crawled through the Ventilation Duct at high speed. If I could just make it to the Dining Hall, I'd find someone. Damn it! They were definitely targeting me! Alright, things were starting to get greasy with oil. The Dining Hall was close. I dropped down into the room.
"Ah! Leo-kun! I just finished washing those tomatoes!!!"
Nina-san scolded me as I landed in a cloud of dust.
"Sorry, I was almost assassinated. Some of the girls went crazy."
"Oh dear... well, keep this a secret, okay?"
What was that? Her tone was strangely suggestive. Then, Nina-san kicked the bottom of the prep table. A panel opened, revealing a hidden compartment full of firearms.
"Here. A shock shotgun for riot suppression."
"Why is that even there?"
"Well, you see... military ships keep them hidden in the Dining Hall just in case a riot breaks out. Apparently, a long time ago, there were several incidents where soldiers turned into a mob while watching a soccer broadcast. So, they tell the food service specialists where the weapons are kept. I never thought I'd actually have to use them, though~"
I took the shotgun.
"Nina-san, you stay here."
"Hmm?"
Clack-clack. She was already holding a heavy-duty handgun.
"I'm going too~♪"
"And what is that?"
"An anti-riot handgun. I heard that if you get hit, you pass out and have nightmares for three days."
"O-Oh..."
"Hiyah!"
Nina-san suddenly fired. The shot hit a middle-aged man standing behind me.
"Why did you shoot him?"
"I just had a bad feeling~♪"
Looking closer, the man had been gripping a Pulse Handgun. The surrounding soldiers stood there, speechless.
"Restrain him~"
Following Nina-san's order, they quickly moved to seize him.
"Well then, Leo-kun, let's go. Everyone, make sure you wash your tomatoes before you eat them!"
"Anego! Understood, ma'am!!!"
For some reason, they all saluted her.
What was I going to do with her? I knew there was a beast inside Nina-san. I mean, obviously—no normal person would go around firing the Self-propelled Gun Corps. But it just hit me... I might have accidentally added the most dangerous person of all to my party."