Accompanied by the Three Musketeers of Comedy and the representatives of the 'Angry Mother Cats'—basically Wifey, Claire, Melissa, Ren, and the rest—I headed to the Simulation Room with Kevin and One-oh-one in tow.
"Alright, starting the simulation."
As we took our seats, the Fairy booted up the simulator.
The other guys and girls were there mainly to serve as a stretcher crew in case we collapsed. We even had a Medical Officer on standby.
Brother-in-law Thomas was out patrolling the surrounding space, making sure we didn't get ambushed while I was busy holding this meeting in virtual reality. We had approached this with a perfect lineup.
As soon as the simulation started, a giant Ayame appeared. In the corner of my vision, I could see veins popping on the Fairy’s head with a series of audible snaps. The eyes on her stylized avatar were completely bloodshot.
"No, seriously, you're actually terrifying right now."
"Leo-kun... listen. I am worried about One-oh-one-chan. But on top of that, these people dared to barge into my network with their dirty feet! They claim it was 'eavesdropping only,' so I’ll s-s-s-s-settle for leaving them half-dead!"
'Livid' didn't even begin to describe it. The Fairy was snapping so hard she looked like a being who had already transcended humanity and was now trying to become a Demon King—no, an Evil God.
I’d officially washed my hands of this. As I gave up on trying to calm her, Ayame—completely oblivious to the magnitude of the wrath she’d incurred—spoke to me.
"Jester, your response?"
"Yeah. One-oh-one, give her the answer."
"I will do it, sir!"
"Right, so we’re going through with the operation... but keep in mind that the Empire has no obligation to save the citizens of the Republic."
"Yes, I understand."
Ayame recoiled slightly when I applied some pressure. Hmm... she didn't look like she was lying.
"Fine. We’ll head to the closer location first. The one Nishina suggested."
"Understood. I will mask the operation to ensure the Mother does not detect us. I will have One-oh-one awaken as a Mother immediately before the mission begins. One-oh-one, please hold your hand up toward me."
"Yes, sir!"
One-oh-one’s hand glowed, and a pattern materialized on her skin.
"Please focus your thoughts on this before the operation begins."
And with that, the day’s meeting concluded. Wifey and the others were left with a sense of unresolved frustration, having not even been able to land a single punch.
As I stood up from my simulator seat, One-oh-one cried out happily.
"I have a pattern now, sir!"
She was innocently rejoicing. Then, I looked over at Wifey and the other girls.
...They were a literal pride of Mother Cats. Then I looked at the guys. They had all bulked up, looking like practitioners of some Assassination Arts passed down to a single successor. Not bad, fellas.
I tried to sneak away quietly. I was scared. I mean, sure, I was pissed too, but she’d wanted this herself, and there was no guarantee it was dangerous. Plus, my gut was telling me something. Ayame didn't seem to be lying.
So, I figured I'd retreat to my room, watch some questionable videos, and just sleep it off. But then I got caught. By everyone.
"Where do you think you're going?"
Um, Claire-san? You're smiling, but it's terrifying. Stop. The door to a new sexual fetish is opening... Stopppppp!
Looking like a captured alien being hauled away by the Men in Black, I was dragged to the Dining Hall.
"Leo, what’s the plan?"
"I’m going to try doing what they said."
"Lord Groom... are you perhaps being deceived by the size of her chest?"
"Wifey... I like a size I can actually knead. I don't need breasts larger than a Humanoid Fighter."
"But you said you wanted to be crushed to death by tits!"
"Wrong! That was just a bit! A joke!"
We engaged in a conversation that was the absolute height of futility. I mean, come on, nobody actually wants to be crushed to death!
"Damn it, Leo! You said you wanted to be crushed to death by Kevin’s tits!!!"
"Isono, come to the training hall for a second. I think I’ve finally snapped..."
I lost my temper instantly at Isono’s nonsense. I’m seriously going to kill you!
[Sage Mode Activated]
"I would never do that, you moron!"
It was no use. I was going to die of high blood pressure.
"Huff... huff... huff..."
I was out of breath from the onslaught of rapid-fire retorts. I hated this... everyone was way too bloodthirsty.
"Hmm... actually, seeing Leo act like this makes me feel like things might be okay."
Claire-san—or rather, Lady Claire—finally gave her blessing to the situation. Everyone turned to look at me.
"True. If Leo is in this state, it’ll probably be fine."
Eddie agreed as well. At the end of the day, Eddie was always the one who wiped my terminal whenever I got into trouble. For the guys, if Eddie agreed, that was the end of the discussion. Eddie-kun... won't you become a Major in my place?
"Yeah, I think it’s okay since Leo-kun is like this too."
When Nina-san spoke up, the girls settled into a 'wait and see' mood, even if they weren't fully convinced. As expected, Claire and Nina-san were the true powers here.
"It cannot be helped, then. Lord Groom! You must protect One-oh-one, understood?!"
"Yes, ma'am."
And so, our policy was set. I was just glad we didn't fall apart. We were still an organization stuck somewhere between a professional military and a university club. You could say we were fighting a war with the reckless energy of a sports festival. We could fracture over the slightest thing. Things were only going well right now because we were winning.
Well, I realized that, but... something about the Fairy’s silence and Wifey’s smirk was bothering me. I decided to ask Wifey directly.
"Did you... steer everyone toward this?"
"Of course I did. I already laid the groundwork with Claire, Nina, Eddie, and Isono."
As expected, Wifey was terrifyingly competent. She was playing on a completely different level than me...
"But... Lord Groom, you absolutely must protect One-oh-one. If you fail... it’s a divorce."
Wifey turned her head away with a huff. Cute. And then the Fairy chimed in too.
"Leo-kun, don't worry. I’ll be using the network. Now that I’ve identified the opponent’s patterns, I’ll be protecting One-oh-one-chan as well."
A dozen anger marks were still floating over the Fairy’s face. She was clearly still livid. I mean, she was literally making a low 'rumble rumble' sound with her own voice.
"On my name as an Electronic Life Form, I won't let them lay a single finger on One-oh-one-chan!"
I don't think you’ve ever actually used your name enough for that to mean anything, but whatever. Motivation is a good thing.
A few days after we met back up with Thomas and the others, we finally arrived at the edge of the designated planet’s airspace.