We gathered in the dining hall to confirm One-oh-one's intentions.
However, I found myself surrounded by Claire, Melissa, Ren, and Kevin—not to mention almost every other girl and female crew member on the battleship—all of them wearing expressions like terrifying Hannya masks.
Directly across from them, the boys and male crew members were exerting their own brand of pressure, their faces set like fierce Nio statues.
As for Wifey, she was fuming in silence, her expression a chilling void.
It made sense. After all, One-oh-one was everyone’s precious little girl.
Still, the news had leaked incredibly fast.
By the time I’d even considered asking Wifey if we should move forward with a deliberate leak, the rumor had already saturated the ship.
The culprits were likely Wifey and the Fairy.
I wondered if I should just make a run for it.
But One-oh-one was currently clinging to my arm, and Tatiana’s arm was caught in the crossfire as well. There was no escaping this.
"Everyone, please... just calm down..."
When I spoke, the girls turned their Hannya glares toward me. I felt my resolve beginning to crumble.
"It’s those bastards! They actually suggested turning One-chan into a Mother!" the usually composed Claire screamed.
Well, of course she was angry.
"Captain, those guys threw her into a long-term life support system and abandoned her, didn't they? In that case, she’s our kid, right? There’s no reason to let those guys use her, is there?"
Melissa crushed the steel can in her hand with a sickening crunch.
Ren remained silent, looking down. She was the type to suppress her feelings at times like this.
"Everyone! It doesn't matter anymore! Let’s just slaughter those Zorks!"
To be honest, we didn't really care about the happiness of the Republic's citizens. As long as we liberated them on the surface, we would have our justification. What happened afterward was none of our business. That was the reality of the situation.
At that moment, Aoi-san entered the dining hall.
"The data is ready," she said, distributing files to the group.
"Regarding the process of Zork Mother-ization, as far as I know, it shouldn't be inherently dangerous... though I cannot speak for the current circumstances."
I thought so. There was no way to know what had happened after contact with an outer space life form.
"What exactly happens when someone becomes a Mother?" Ren asked. It seemed she was worried deep down, after all.
"As long as they don't attempt to wield the Power of Domination, they function as little more than a relay device."
"That sounds incredibly ominous! What do you mean, 'Power of Domination'?!" I couldn't help but interject.
"As the name implies, it is the power to dominate the Zorks and strip them of their ability to think. Since the Republic was exiled to outer space, rapid decision-making was essential for survival. They had no choice but to suppress any dissent. The problem is..."
I’d had enough. I didn't want One-oh-one to be forced into something like that.
"A normal human cannot withstand it. It is equivalent to moving millions—no, hundreds of millions—of people simultaneously. The mental burden is catastrophic. Therefore, to create a Zork Mother, they decided to undergo artificial evolution using the technology and genes of outer space life forms. As a result, my body was taken, and I was sealed in that facility. The [Despair] group... were likely treated as slaves... no, I suspect they were treated as consumables."
So that was why I felt so terrible whenever I fought [Despair].
"If possible, I would like to take her place, but now that my body has been reconstructed, my power has weakened. The modified parts, such as the nerves, have also been lost. In my current state, I cannot serve as a Zork Mother."
Then Wifey spoke up, her voice still cold with fury.
"The citizens of the Republic are pitiable, but that is no reason to hand over our One-oh-one. It is out of the question. Besides, even if One-oh-one becomes a Mother, the situation will not change. If it comes to a battle with the Republic citizens, we will have no choice but to kill them. One-oh-one, refuse."
However, One-oh-one's response was unexpected.
"I’ll do it, sir!"
"Excuse me?"
"Major! I'll do it! I was originally born as a soldier for outer space exploration to be of use to the citizens! If I become a Mother, I can finally fulfill my purpose, sir!"
Tatiana was the first to snap.
"Just forget about it! Who cares about being useful to people?! You should be looking for your own happiness!"
"Tatiana, it is my reason for existing, sir."
"If you're going to say that, then the same goes for me! I'm a clone made specifically to comfort a family! But I'm here because I intend to carve out my own life! Isn't it the same for you?!"
"But even Tatiana said, 'The military brass might have called the shots, but the Major is pretty cool, right? Aren't we lucky?' sir."
"Y-Y-Y-Y-Youuuuuuu! Don't blab that out!"
Ah, there it was. Jester's Ability had activated, manifesting a field where everything dissolved into a gag.
Even the girls were already nodding in resignation. "Well, it is Leo-kun. There’s really no helping it when he’s involved."
I suppose I was already that kind of existence to them.
Meanwhile, the boys were weeping tears of blood, muttering things like, "That bastard Leo... maybe we really should just kill him?"
It was probably still at a level that could be laughed off as a gag. I mean, you guys have fiancées too, don't you?! Even Isono's fiancée has been decided!
...Later, I’ll team up with Katori-sensei and beat them up under the guise of sparring.
"I will be causing trouble for Tatiana, but I want you to protect me! Tatiana is my partner, sir!"
At that moment, Tatiana's face turned a brilliant crimson with a visible poof.
"Y-Y-Y-You! Saying something embarrassing like that..."
"I trust Tatiana completely, sir!"
Tatiana was a cynical brat, which was exactly why she was so defenseless against such a direct approach. She tried to deny it with a bright red face, but everyone watched over them with warm, knowing expressions.
"It cannot be helped. Fine. Lord Groom, you are to protect her as well."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Tatiana. Do not overdo it. You are not like the Lord Groom. You are... an existence on the half-serious side."
Hold on. Was she trying to say I was some kind of entity born from a gag world?
"If you push yourself, you might die. Though I suspect the Lord Groom would survive no matter the situation."
Wifey walked toward the girls and stopped in front of Alyssa.
"This time, we must also rely on your ESP. I am sorry, especially since you are newly married."
Come to think of it, Alyssa had recently registered her marriage to Edge. They were a couple everyone recognized, so it wasn't an issue.
"Yeah, leave it to me!"
And so, the operation led by the Three Musketeers of Comedy began.
...Actually, those two aren't really comedy-specialized, are they? Whatever. The Three Musketeers of Comedy it is.