“I’VE DONE IT AGAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!”
Predictably, the shame had finally caught up to her.
My wifey was currently rolling around on the bed, clutching my pillow to her chest. It was our usual bunk bed. Whenever she stayed over in my room, she always claimed the top bunk.
“Wifey... you should probably just accept this as the fate of anyone who gets involved with me.”
“It is so embarrassing... how am I supposed to face everyone ever again?”
“I don’t think they’ll mind. After all, everyone else is already a victim of my gag world.”
I flashed a grin, a glint in my eye. At that, Wifey suddenly sat upright.
“My legs hurt...”
“Oh...”
“N-no, my whole body hurts!!!”
She started rolling around again, though for a completely different reason this time. I opened a channel to the Court Lady.
“This is Leo. Wifey... I mean, Her Majesty the Emperor is complaining of full-body pain. Yes, it’s likely growing pains.”
“Wifey... want to try stretching?”
“N-n-n-no! It hurts just to sit up, let alone stretch! Painkillers... give me painkillers! My legs, aaaaaah!”
“I’ve already called the Court Lady, so just hang on.”
“GUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!”
A few minutes later, Wifey was whisked away on a stretcher prepared by the Court Ladies. Since it wasn’t the kind of symptom that required nanomachines, they’d likely stick to painkillers, massages, and stretching.
When I contacted Piggett, who acted as her surrogate father, he wept manly tears. “To think she has grown so magnificent...”
From his perspective, I suppose it was a milestone. I was just glad there was someone who truly wished for her ordinary happiness.
Now, time to tidy up the room she’d left in a mess. If this were a civilian ship, a cleaning drone would handle it, but this was the military. Keeping your quarters clean was part of the job.
I gathered up the clothes Wifey had shed and left scattered about, threw them in a basket, vacuumed, and then dry-mopped the floor. If a superior officer found so much as a snack crumb, I’d get a face-full of—wait, I was a high-ranking officer now. There wasn’t anyone left to bring a fist down on my head. That was actually a little lonely.
I took Wifey’s clothes to the Laundry. I’d usually leave the expensive stuff to the Court Ladies, but since these were just her jerseys, I’d handle the wash. I tossed them into a mesh bag and shoved them into the machine.
One hour until they were dry. Thinking I’d kill some time with a cup of tea, I headed to the Dining Hall, where I found Claire. She waved when she saw me.
“Leo! How is Veronica-chan?!”
The Fairy had probably spread the news. Claire already knew she’d been carried off.
“Just a bad case of growing pains, apparently. The Court Lady took her to get looked at.”
“I see... that’s a relief. At least it’s not an illness.”
It was good she wasn’t sick, but the sheer speed of her development meant the growing pains were likely going to be brutal.
Ren and Melissa arrived shortly after, leading a group of other girls.
“Yo, Captain! What’s the word on Veronica-chan?”
“Growing pains from her growth spurt. Her nerves and muscles aren’t keeping up with her skeletal growth.”
“Oof... those really sting,” Melissa said, nodding sympathetically. “I get it. The Beast Race goes through rapid growth spurts too, so our growing pains are no joke.”
I almost nodded along, but then all the girls turned their gaze toward Kevin. Out of everyone here, the one who had experienced the most radical change—well, going from a boy to a girl—was Kevin.
“I didn’t feel a thing...” Kevin said, looking away sharply.
The girls’ expressions twisted into wicked grins. Oh boy. The guys were bad enough, but the girls were just as merciless. Getting carried away, they began their usual annoying meddling.
“Keviiiin! There’s no way you didn’t feel anything when you’ve got these massive things dangling off you now!”
One of the girls reached out and grabbed them firmly. I felt my mind go blank as I watched. Meanwhile, the guys’ eyes were absolutely glued to the spectacle.
“W-wait, stop that!”
“Shut up and spill! Where did it hurt? Hmm?”
Kevin protested, but the girls’ interrogation showed no signs of stopping.
[Transitioning to Sage Mode.]
Shut up. Don't come out now. I was a void. A total void. I felt like I was about to achieve enlightenment.
“Hey, hey, Leo-kun, are you free?”
A lifeline appeared in my state of emptiness. It was the Fairy.
“Free until my laundry’s done.”
“Ah! Don't you dare leave me here!” Kevin shouted, scurrying over the moment I stood up.
“You don't have to follow me, you know.”
“Don't look at me with those pitying eyes!”
Geez, talk about high maintenance.
“So, Fairy, what’s up?”
“I’ve been re-evaluating the difficulty levels for the simulator. I managed to get some actual combat data for the Despair models from that last incident. I think I’ve put together a very realistic Zork battle scenario.”
“Heh, is it ready to play?”
“Just finished applying the patch, so help yourself.”
That sounded interesting. “Kevin, let’s head to the Simulator Room.”
“As long as I’m not getting my chest mauled, I’ll do anything!”
We headed to the Simulator Room. I took my seat and booted it up. I’d considered a Single Play session, but I decided to bring Kevin along. We loaded in, the system reading our user data to start the match.
Kevin’s avatar appeared. He began prepping drones inside the support truck at the rear, while I deployed in the Massacre Night.
Wow, this was way more realistic than before.
“Fairy, this is incredible!”
“Hehehe! I really put my back into it this time!”
This was going to make the simulator a massive hit again. The military contracts were on a whole different level, but the civilian version was already a bestseller. Companies in the Imperial Capital were desperate for skilled pilots and mechanics; they were more than happy to pay for training tools given the labor shortage. Our simulators were basically selling as fast as we could make them.
I was just standing there, genuinely impressed, when a voice echoed in the space.
[Jester... can you hear me?]
Suddenly, the figure of a giant woman manifested before my eyes.
Wait, what? A bug?
“Kevin! Something’s wrong!”
“I see it too. Hey, Luna-chan, the simulator is acting weird!”
“Fairy, we’ve got a bug here...”
The Fairy appeared beside us, her expression grim. “That’s not a bug. We’ve got an intruder.”
Excuse me?