I lingered at the very back, making my preparations with a sense of reserve. I was the last one to launch, moving with practiced haste.
We made our atmospheric entry and touched down in silence.
Look at me, I'm just a mob character. A portrait character with no eyes. I’ll just blend right into the scenery!
It went without saying that a preemptive strike was out of the question for me. The Crabs were approaching...
"Kill them all!" Claire screamed.
"Uooooooooooh!"
At her command, the humanoid fighters charged.
And man, did they go at it. Punching, kicking—it was total chaos. Someone fired a grenade launcher, and the world erupted in flames, but no one in our squad flinched.
Nakajima's Machine burst through the smoke. Perhaps influenced by me, he’d chosen a Sledge Hammer as his weapon. He swung the massive thing over his head mid-jump and slammed it into a Crab.
"Ora ora ora oraaa! I! Still! Haven't! Even! Met! My fiancée! In person yet!"
Nakajima’s Fiancée was the daughter of a Marquis House and a police high-ranking official. Her father had died in the line of duty during the Imperial Capital Invasion, leaving her brother as the current Marquis House Head. She was a second-year student at an Imperial Capital Private High School. They planned for her to continue her studies after they registered their marriage once the expedition was over.
As for university... honestly, I wasn't sure what would happen. Most students in the capital couldn't even attend classes because of the Zork invasion. Lectures were supposedly being held remotely, but the attendance rate was abysmal, especially for students from a local planet who had lost their parents. Since even the university division of the officer academy was being rushed through in a single year as an emergency measure, it was clearly going to take a long time for things to return to normal.
Because we were being dragged into the war like this, Nakajima still hadn't had the chance to meet the girl in the flesh. No wonder he was losing it. I could practically see him—a man fighting while weeping tears of blood!
"Isono!" Nakajima roared.
His partner, Isono, charged in while brandishing a Naginata.
"Guhahahaha! Guha! Guhahahahahaha!"
Yeah, he had definitely snapped.
Once, when my wifey had asked Isono what his type was, he’d shouted, "Someone quiet (unlike the officer academy girls), someone refined (unlike the officer academy girls), and someone who doesn't hate me (unlike the officer academy girls)!" The girls had pelted him with whatever was within reach. He really brought that on himself.
To fix his attitude, he’d been introduced to the daughter of House Hanazawa, a family known for their strict traditions. They were a lineage of champions in judo, karate, and kendo. Her father was a macho dandy who looked perfect in a tattered martial arts uniform, and her three elder brothers were all muscle-bound enough to be bodybuilders.
During his leave, Isono had been... well, "escorted" to their home for some brutal ascetic training to see if he was a man worthy of their daughter. Unfortunately, the training wasn't that different from our unit’s daily routine, so instead of breaking his spirit, he actually managed to impress them. He’d kept that smug attitude of his.
"It was better than that time I made Katori-sensei angry," he’d said afterward with an annoying amount of pride.
The daughter in question was a total beauty, but since they couldn't see each other right now, Isono spent his nights crying into his pillow. I half-hoped he’d take a non-lethal hit to the groin.
Despite being an idiot, Isono’s physical abilities were freakishly high. Isono's Machine was designed with a warrior appearance, and he dove straight into the fray, swinging his Naginata. His ability to disrupt the battlefield was second to none.
"Listen up! These Crabs are close-combat types! They can only attack from four directions!" Isono yelled, sounding like a character from a shonen manga.
Oh great, he just flagged himself.
Sure enough, a long-range type hidden among the regular Crabs fired a plasma cannon at him. But Isono didn't skip a beat.
"Hup!"
He used his Naginata to hoist a nearby Crab into the air, using it as a shield. Once the fire ceased, he hurled the Crab back at the long-range unit.
Nakajima was even more savage. The moment he spotted a long-range type, he threw his hammer with everything he had to crush it, then fought the rest with his bare hands while he went to retrieve the weapon.
While the boys were off having their individual power fantasies, the girls were actually working together. They used their assault rifles to pick off the Crabs that slipped through the front lines. Ren focused entirely on her role as a sniper.
Claire, meanwhile, was pulverizing any Crabs that made it past the gunfire. Knee strikes, elbow drops, rolling sobats—she was doing it all. I watched her execute a body slam, followed by an Oklahoma Stampede. She even took out a Crab with a single, brutal lariat. The poor thing spun about three times in the air.
Claire’s machine was custom-built with heavily reinforced limbs. She was pulling off moves that even my machine couldn't replicate. Wait, did she just hoist one up for a brainbuster and transition into a piledriver? It was a Steiner Screw Driver! Incredible. I guess she could only pull that off because the enemy was a Crab.
I couldn't just stand around watching. I teamed up with Eddy—who looked just as disturbed by the display as I was—and we started cutting our way through with swords.
Lately, I’d finally started to get the hang of coordinating with my crisis detection ability. Reaching the level of counter-initiative was still a distant dream, but I felt like I was beginning to grasp the timing needed to break an enemy's stance. I’d strike the very moment they intended to move.
By slashing at the exact instant they began an action, I sent the Crabs tumbling. I kept it up, hitting one after another until they lost their balance. Then, the Crabs behind them tripped over the ones I’d downed, creating a domino effect.
"Is that magic?" Eddy asked.
"Nope, technique."
The enemies tried to force their way back into the fight, but I didn't let them. I kept my distance and moved to attack a different group. Again, I focused on knocking them over rather than killing them. If I could keep a group pinned down, the girls would finish them off. Efficiency was the name of the game.
From behind, I saw a figure tearing through Crabs with terrifying momentum. If they stood in her way, she cut them down. Melissa was annihilating the enemy in a straight line. She was our poor cooperator-chan, but for Melissa, that was perfectly fine.
This was essentially a territory game. In this kind of fight, the first one forced to move is the loser. As long as Melissa kept stirring things up, the enemy would remain at a disadvantage. The only real problem was that they had a hell of a lot more units than we did.
Finally, the time came.
"Lord Groom! Fall back to the operational position!"
"Roger that!" I replied. "Everyone, fall back! Draw them in!"
The Sexy Pied Piper of Hamelin has arrived.