Amada sent the data over. Fairy-san ran her checks before I even had a chance to look at it.
"No traps detected. Well then, shall we take a look inside...?"
Once Fairy-san's check was finished, her eyes went wide.
"What on earth is this? It really is the complete archive! My goodness—it has the meals, weight, and blood test results for every single exile... even their video viewing history. Oh, look, 'Gravure Getchu' from back then. Want a peek?"
"Do it."
"Roger that~"
What appeared on the screen was a woman who looked like a relic from a bygone era. Her hair and makeup were completely different from modern styles. It was so retro that it failed to stir any excitement; it felt more like looking at a historical document.
"It’s a bit... underwhelming, isn't it?" Fairy-san remarked.
"Yeah," I agreed. We both wore sour expressions.
"Wait, Fairy-san. Wasn't this from your time?"
"Well, it’s closer to when I was alive, but this is still a hundred years before my era."
I see. I suppose fashion and beauty standards from a century ago were lost on me. It was like looking at a ukiyo-e print—you recognize the intent, but you don't actually feel anything. I decided to give up on seeking any titillation here.
"So, would this have even been useful to the Duke Association?"
"It covers centuries of data... no human could process it all. Hmm... oh! Here’s a mountain of documents and reports."
Finally, the real meat of the data.
"Hmm... Hmmmmmm?"
Fairy-san started acting strange. Being odd was her default state, but this was several orders of magnitude beyond her usual self.
"What is it?"
"This is beyond my current knowledge base. I’m sending this to Veronica-chan and the research institute."
"Don't leave me hanging."
"I'm serious. This content is enough to get someone assassinated. Wow..."
As I tilted my head in confusion, Wifey came charging into the room with incredible momentum.
"Luna! Is this true?!"
"It’s just a hypothesis for now," Fairy-san replied.
"What are you two talking about?! Seriously! Tell me already!!!" I yelled. My patience was wearing thin. Being left out is the worst!
"Veronica-chan, can we?"
"Umu. The Lord Groom has earned the right to know."
"Well, the thing is... it’s a total record," Fairy-san began.
"Right." I already knew that; it even had the vintage data.
"It’s everything! That includes the records of their encounters with life forms from outer space!"
"...Oh? Which means?"
"It contains the method for us to become Zorks!" Veronica declared.
"No way, that’s terrifying. I’m out. I don't want to become a crab."
"We aren't doing that! According to Amada-san's report, it seems they were trying to revive something. But what?"
"...Eh?"
In the original work... hmm, I didn't recall this part. It was probably some insanely powerful monster.
"Is it the perfect human?" Veronica asked.
"Yes, the Perfect Human Production Method, most likely."
"But those Zorks aren't perfect," I pointed out. "Their physical specs are high, but they’ve lost their ability to think. Some can understand speech, but they can't hold a conversation."
"However, one of the Despairs was capable of speech and even showed enough emotion to worry about its companions," Fairy-san countered.
I had a very bad feeling about this.
"In other words, they strip the thoughts away from the workers and soldiers, while the upper echelon does the thinking. The Queen Bee Method."
"Oh, right."
That wasn't exactly new. Aoi-san, One-oh-one, and Kevin had mentioned that repeatedly.
"Furthermore, the method for creating the crabs... that part remains a mystery," Veronica said.
"Isn't it just DNA recombination?"
"It’s on the level of remaking a species from scratch. It’s far beyond our current technology."
"Wait... does that mean we have to undergo modification surgery too?" I asked, dreading the answer. I really didn't want to be a crab.
"We will not. Doing so would spark a riot. I would hate it myself. However, if we understand the core of the technology, we can develop countermeasures. We could also adapt some of it for humanoid fighters or warships."
"I see. That makes sense."
What a relief. I was just glad I wouldn't be turning into a crustacean.
"At any rate, we need to analyze this first. Lord Groom, keep your mouth shut about this."
"I won't say a word!"
"We owe Amada our thanks. Very well, I shall appoint him a Count. I welcome anyone who proves themselves this useful."
"By the way, I got a message from Amada saying he wants a wife."
"...About that," Veronica said. "The Mother AI asked me to put that request on hold. It seems she’s taken a liking to him."
"Oh my! That girl! I didn't think she'd be too shy to say it!" Fairy-san chirped, flying around with a grin.
Fairy-san was a woman at heart, after all. She clearly loved a good romance. Poor Amada... if he was going to date Fairy-san or one of her clones, he was going to need a very sturdy body. I hoped he wouldn't die.
Satisfied with finally knowing the secret, I went back to my room to get some sleep.
But while I was dreaming, Fairy-san appeared again.
"Wake up!!!"
Buoooh—! Fairy-san blew a conch shell right in my ear.
"Is it a battle?!" I jolted upright.
"I’ve discovered something incredible!"
"To arms! To arms! That bastard Akechi is launching a raid! His Highness has arrived on a white horse! Honnoji is in flames—let’s dance!"
A monster is here! Everyone, run!
"Calm down!"
"Oh... right." My head cleared a bit. Note to self: erotic dreams are much better than historical war ones.
"I found out why Prince Thomas's expedition failed!"
"What? Wasn't it just the violence of numbers?"
"That played a part, but the real issue is where those numbers came from! I found records showing that several planets in this sector are actually production bases!"
She really managed to dig that out from the mountain of junk data and vintage gravure. So that was why the enemies seemed infinite!
"And the plan to take them?"
"A meeting is scheduled for tomorrow."
How did the latter half of the original work go again? Ah, right. In the RPG, you'd just go on an assassination mission, making it easier to force a breakthrough. But since we were playing a Simulation Game (SLG) in reality, we were stuck in Total War Mode and couldn't just bypass the logistics.
Hmm. If I fought the fleet battle in the SLG while sending Edge's assassination unit in... no, his level was still too low for that.
If only I could trigger Sage Mode at will. I still didn't know the requirements. The Jester's inherent lack of seriousness was really holding us back.
For now, I just had to prepare for tomorrow's meeting. My role: look down and stare at the desk as if I were thinking deep, important thoughts.