“Wake up, you serious-looking scum!!!”
I bolted upright as the voice echoed inside my head.
Where am I...?
A girl with twin-tails stared back at me from an augmented reality window floating right in front of my face.
“Oh, you’re finally awake. This is the Imperial Capital Police Hospital. Hang on, I’ll connect to the original. Original, Amada’s awake!”
“Ah! So you’ve finally opened your eyes.”
A fairy appeared next.
I see, so this one was Imperial Princess Luna.
Real royalty.
She gave off a much different impression than she did during our VR matches.
“Amada-kun, let me explain the situation. You were shot by your girlfriend, Nel.”
Princess Luna fluttered around the screen.
God, she was annoying.
And she really needed to stop emphasizing the word “girlfriend.”
“Ex-girlfriend. Besides, the person was probably some guy anyway!”
“Oh... are you sure you want me to say it?”
“...S-stop! Don’t say it!”
“Let’s see, fingerprint analysis identified the shooter as Antonio Gomez, fifty-three years old, with a prior record for robbery. Wow, I’m genuinely surprised he managed to infiltrate the police force.”
“YOU BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!! I told you not to say it!!!”
“Rest assured! Your fellow officers have offered plenty of support, saying things like, ‘I was aiming for her too...’ ‘Nobody could have dodged a trap like that!’ ‘Let’s pool our credits for Amada’s counseling!’ and ‘Actually, that sounds like a reward’...”
“That just makes it harder to go back to work! Especially the last one! Urgh!”
A sudden cramp seized my stomach.
Must be the gunshot wound.
Just as the thought crossed my mind, a wave of intense pain washed over me.
“IT HUUUUUUUUUUUURTS!!!”
“Ah, oops. Amada-kun, you aren't using military nanomachines like Leo-kun. One second, calling the nurse station.”
“L-Luna, you BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!”
“Hahaha. Well then, Mother AI, I’ll leave the rest in your hands! Best regards!”
“Okaaay!”
She ran away!
Damn her! I’m going to tell Leo everything!
“Amada-san, what happened? Oh! Your wound has reopened! This is bad!”
And just like that, I was stuck with another dose of nanomachines.
The surgical kind, loaded with anesthesia.
When I woke up again, my throat was bone-dry—the anesthesia’s fault, no doubt.
I only survived because I used to play judo and rugby.
Anyone else would be dead.
“Good morning, Amada!”
Apparently, the twin-tailed Mother AI was still residing in my system.
“Yo.”
I gave her a basic greeting.
Politeness matters.
In the police force, skipping a greeting is a one-way ticket to getting punched in the face.
It was a total jock culture.
“Amada, since the original made her escape, I’ll be the one conducting the hearing.”
“Right.”
“Last week, you led a house search as the commander of the Imperial Police Joint Team, correct?”
“Yeah, a hideout for the Duke Association remnants.”
Despite appearances, my rank was equivalent to a First Lieutenant in the Army.
Leo had already outstripped me, though... Damn, the Navy promotes way too fast.
“What did you seize?”
“Workstations, paper documents, printers, guns... and a bunch of antiques, I think?”
“Where is the inventory list?”
“Don’t ask me. It should be in the report on the police server.”
“That’s the problem. It isn’t there.”
“Huh? Wait a sec, let me check my storage... Oh. Looks like the data was corrupted when I nearly died. Can’t be helped; I’ll restore it from the temporary cache. There, this is it.”
“...I’ll be sure to tell the original that your security is practically non-existent. Regardless, please transfer the file to Mother AI.”
A link appeared.
...Hold on.
“Is this that direct line to Mother AI that's rumored to only be accessible by the Imperial Family...?”
“Excellent deduction.”
That’s terrifying.
Once the upload finished, the twin-tailed Mother AI started dancing.
“I’m going to go through the files in detail now, so just watch me dance while you wait.”
So annoying.
After a while, she pointed to a specific photograph.
“What is this?”
“Some kind of box.”
“A box... no, this is a data tape. It looks like something a noble commissioned a long time ago.”
What the hell is that?
“Fine, I’ll give the order to investigate it—”
“No! It might be dangerous! We need to contact the military first... Amada-san! I’m sending a data extraction device to your location. Use it to send the contents to me.”
“I’m in the middle of being hospitalized, you know.”
“You’re the only person in the Leo Kamishiro Clan currently in the Imperial Capital that we can trust!”
“Stop it with the flattery. Calling me a justice-loving, super-competent, sexy detective... Fine, whatever! I’ll do it as soon as I can move!”
“I didn’t say any of that, but okay. Amada, listen to me. Brace yourself. You need to determine once and for all who is an ally and who is an enemy.”
“Hey, now. There’s no way we police officers would betray His Imperial Majesty.”
“You were nearly murdered by a police officer just a few hours ago.”
She had a point.
“And, uh... I have a favor to ask in return...”
I started fidgeting.
“What is it?”
“I want a wife.”
“You really never learn, do you?!”
“The person I was living with was a guy! I can’t take it anymore! Jiro can’t handle workplace romance like this!”
I was ready to burst into tears.
I’d even bought an engagement ring...
“Ah... right. Well, Lady Veronica says, ‘That sounds like fun!’”
“Please, I’m begging you... Waaaaah.”
The sound of a grown man sobbing.
“What’s your type?”
“A girl with big boobs!”
“How refreshing.”
I stayed in the hospital for about three more days after that.
The administration of military nanomachines forced me back into service.
The world is full of heartless monsters.
For some reason, Space Marines were guarding my room.
They wouldn’t even let my own coworkers inside.
After being discharged—and getting chewed out by my colleagues via text—I headed toward the police evidence storage.
Naturally, my colleagues and the high-ranking police officials were tagging along.
The Emperor’s orders were absolute.
“First Lieutenant Amada, the box is in here?”
A muscle-bound gorilla of a man asked.
This gorilla was Second Lieutenant Bennett.
A career soldier currently serving as military police.
He insisted on calling me First Lieutenant.
Probably because I held a commander-class position.
I told him I wasn’t a First Lieutenant!
But I guess he preferred the title for a commander.
“Yes, according to the records.”
While I was in the hospital, the evidence storage had been locked tight with no entry permitted.
The official opened the door with trembling hands.
“It’s open. Amada! You go in first.”
“Understood.”
I stepped inside.
It’s not like there was a zombie waiting for me or anything.
I just had to scan the data and send it to Princess Luna.
...So, uh, why exactly is Bennett-kun pressing a gun against the back of my head? (In a tearful voice)