I’d suspected as much, but that massive Zork had indeed been the relay.
The surrounding Zorks have ceased all activity. Peace has returned to the area. Of course, we’ve burned through so many supplies that we’re basically stuck here, too.
The Monopole Cannon Wifey used... When I saw the price tag for a single shot, my knees actually started to shake. No way! It’s actually cheaper to drop an entire colony?!
I guess dropping decommissioned colonies really is the most sustainable way to wage war. The war economy is terrifying...
In the midst of it all, I once again emerged without a single scratch. Oh, wow! Suematsu-san is safe, too. In fact, everyone is.
There were plenty of injuries, though. There were so many crabs that a significant number of people got hurt in the places where they broke through. Mostly broken bones, I’d bet.
A lot of accidents happened during the fortification work, too. For instance, a worker on Planet Shinagawa got their finger caught in a machine and severed it. Aside from that, there was a fire, an explosion, and one transport craft that went down because of a traffic control error. Though even those situations were somehow managed with nanomachines.
Zero fatalities. It really felt like any place out of my direct line of sight had a nasty habit of spiking into Hell Mode difficulty.
Relief spread among the rank-and-file soldiers who’d been braced for death, given the sheer scale of the victory. Wifey, however, looked grim. "This is abnormal," she muttered. Hey, what’s the big deal?
"The fact that traffic control errors are even happening is proof that the proficiency of the Imperial Army has plummeted!"
I mean, she’s not wrong. According to Tatiana, sending child soldiers to the front lines is standard procedure now—it sounds like a literal hell where people are dying in droves. No thank you, that’s way too scary.
Actually, on most local planets, worker fatalities are apparently a daily occurrence. My home planet wasn't really like that, though. At worst, a light truck might roll into a field, or a livestock farmer might get kicked by an animal.
Thinking back, my grandpa—the one who worked with horses—died after being kicked by one when I was a kid. I guess my Jester's Ability hadn't manifested back then.
"We were floriculture farmers, so we didn't have many accidents," Claire-san noted. "Oh, but there was that one person who got pinned under a collapsing greenhouse..."
Just hearing her talk makes my nether regions shrivel. "In our case, we had a mine collapse," Ren added.
Terrifying! A lot of people are dying out there... "We have elephants, so accidents were pretty common," Nakajima chimed in.
It sounds like the Nakajima household lived on Hardcore Mode. "Everyone’s hometown sounds intense... In my neck of the woods, the worst that happened was being shaken down by wild animals."
"Wait, what?" Kevin tilted his head. Lately, his mannerisms have become completely feminine, but I’ve decided not to point it out.
"I mean, you’re walking home from school, right? And my place is basically the sticks. There were only four students in the whole school, so we’d always walk home together in a group dismissal. Then the coyotes would show up, whining all cute and asking for leftovers from our school lunches. They’d roll over, give us those puppy-dog eyes, and wag their tails for all they were worth—"
"Captain... those are very different from the coyotes I’m familiar with." Melissa, who usually laughs off anything, put her head in her hands.
"No, see, our coyotes knew they’d get lunch scraps. On holidays, they’d go to the old guys doing farm work and beg for food. I wish you could hear them whine; it’d make your knees buckle."
"Are you sure no one was keeping them as pets?"
"Nope, they’re wild. I’m sure someone brought them to the planet a long time ago, but they’re wild now."
"Why is it that even the wild animals around the Captain belong in a fairy tale?!"
"I don’t know!"
"Listen, Leo. On a normal planet, coyotes are dangerous predators," Claire-mama lectured me.
I took the lesson on common sense to heart, but that’s just how coyotes were back home. I never got bitten once. "Plus, the pumas and wolves would go after our lunches, too—"
"Lord Groom... is it possible you were actually reigning over some kind of animal kingdom?"
The 'Leo was mistaken for a lion' theory! No way. "No, seriously... that sounds like a string of fatal accidents waiting to happen..."
"Really? I never heard of any accidents. If anything, the livestock were way more aggressive. My brother says things are still like that. Actually, I heard a university research team is heading there soon. A TV program from the Imperial Capital, too."
"So the Lord Groom’s hometown is basically a Friendly Animal Village!"
A few days have passed since that conversation. We’re currently grounded, spending our time focused entirely on production. Aoi-san has recovered enough to start taking walks. I ran into her while I was doing laps around the base on Planet Shinagawa.
"Good afternoon, Major."
"Oh, hey. How are you feeling?"
"Thanks to you, I'm getting much better. I’ll need a cane until my neural synchronization is complete, though." Aoi-san smiled. Unlike the instant results of clone treatments, it seemed actual recovery was going to take years of rehab. I guess there really is no such thing as a free lunch.
"The operation was a huge success. Thank you."
"I'm glad I could help."
I’m keeping the fact that I colluded with one of the enemy's Despairs a secret. It’s enough that only Wifey and I know. I have no idea if it’ll turn out to be a good move or a disaster. It’ll be whatever it’ll be.
I won't lie and say the thought 'I hope that old guy doesn't try to conquer us once he’s at the top of the Zorks; I hope he just dies conveniently' hasn't crossed my mind. When you have unpredictable variables on the enemy side, the path to victory gets murky. Emotionally, I don't exactly hate the idea of accepting Zorks who think of themselves as human so we can all get along. But I have responsibilities. I'm a Major. I have to secure victory for the Empire. I’ve got to do what needs to be done, even if it’s a bit cold-hearted.
"Oh, Lord Major!"
"Sir!"
One-oh-one and Tatiana showed up. They were helping out the nurses. Good for them. "I’ll give you some snacks."
"Yay! ...But I'll save them for later, sir."
"What's up? Something wrong, Aoi-san?"
"She was scolded. Big Sister Kevin told her she was eating too much." One-oh-one looked completely dejected. So even Kevin hands out lectures.
"She ate an entire box of the steamed buns I gave her by herself." "Yeah, that’ll do it." That is definitely not good for the health. "Well, come by the dining hall once you’re done with work. I’ll whip something up for you."
"Yay! I love you, Major, sir!!" I turned to Tatiana as well. "You come by later, too." "Y-Yes, sir."
I parted ways with the group and resumed my run. Yeah, things are looking up. I just have to keep this momentum going until the Zork Mother finally understands her place. Hahaha!