I pushed further in.
But before that, I marked the locations and had the drones plant explosives.
Against an asteroid-class Zork, it probably wouldn't be fatal. I mean, no matter how many explosions you set off under the surface, the planet itself isn't going to split open.
Still, I planted them as a little "fuck you."
These minor annoyances are what lead to survival. Plus, since it was a living thing, it might actually feel the sting.
Unlike those unicellular organism forms, these fleshy ones surely had pain receptors. Even crustaceans have nociceptors, after all.
The explosives I’d prepped were designed for destroying underground facilities. If all went well, it should feel like a massive stomach ulcer.
Operation Anisakis, start!
I’ll give it a taste of hellish agony!
(Just please, don't let us be expelled out the rear end.)
"I'm spreading the napalm now," Kevin’s voice crackled over the comms.
Unintentionally ruthless. But I was counting on him.
The Death Blaster couldn't dig all the way outside from here. Normally, these swallowing-types are built to kill—either by suffocating you or dissolving you with potent gastric juices. They usually kill humans before putting them in their mouths, anyway.
In other words, the moment it swallowed us whole, it had already lost.
Don't underestimate humanity!
I continued deeper, tagging spots as I went.
Suddenly, a room appeared.
It was completely jarring—a room manifesting right there in the depths of the meat.
Inside stood a man in what looked like a Republic military uniform. It was different from the outfit Aoi had worn in my hallucination.
But unlike Sariel or those fake units, he felt... how should I put it? He felt like he was on our side. Like Piggett or Huma-sensei. A real, buff soldier who knew how to get the job done.
"I won't tell you to leave," the man said. "I just want to talk for a bit. Call it the grumblings of a tired soldier."
For some reason, I felt an immediate sense of kinship.
"I've lived for five hundred years, and yet here I am, forced to fight you. Mother's orders."
"Well, you have my sympathies. What exactly is this place?"
"An asteroid-class Zork... or so I’d like to say, but it's an old model. It has a main cannon, but if it ever fired, the creature would collapse. If you’d tried to ignore it and pass by, I was supposed to shoot you in the back."
Gimme a break. My intuition was dead on.
"Appreciate the honesty. Look, I came to the spot 'behind the gymnasium' like I was told, so can I just go home now?"
"It's not that simple. I have to fight you here. And I have to die."
"Just cut the Zork Network and make a run for it."
"If it were that easy, I wouldn't be fighting so damn hard."
"What's the catch? If it's a money thing, I can lend you some."
Ninety percent of life's problems can be solved with money. I wasn't being a jerk—I’d seen my own home planet, a backwater marginal village, brought back to life by cash alone.
"Haha, sorry, but money won't fix this. It's... hostages. We’re old-model Zorks—the ones who can still be called human. We're discriminated against by the rest. If I run, the others will be slaughtered."
"So you're on bad terms with the newer generation? The ones into outer space tech?"
"Calling it 'bad terms' is an understatement. You’ve seen the crabs. You can't even hold a conversation with them."
"What about the Mother?"
In the original game, the Mother reached a rational conclusion. But we weren't in that timeline anymore.
"The Mother undergoes periodic generation changes via outer space tech. The Mother that was just reborn probably views those of us who reject the new factors as nothing but a nuisance."
"If you die, won't they just kill everyone else anyway?"
"All I can do is pray. No... I suppose I’ve already abandoned them. My comrades. I have no way to oppose her. I’ve even accepted the very outer space factor I once rejected. What 'Despair'? I'm nothing more than a disposable pawn. I have no cause, no pride left. Haha... to think a five-hundred-year journey would end like this."
Man, this made it hard to fight.
Had there ever been such a pathetic enemy? Then again, we were fighting for the survival of the human race. We had our own cause to uphold.
...I hadn't really felt anything toward the Mother until now, but I suddenly developed a real grudge.
"Come, Jester. Let us settle this. Regardless of the victor, I will let your companions go. Though extinction awaits us all in the end anyway!"
Sand swirled around [Despair], hardening into a high-density shell like a crab. Its form shifted until it looked exactly like a Massacre Night unit.
The only difference was the weapon: a massive axe. A poleaxe, I guess.
"Eddie, Melissa, Claire—figure out an escape route in secret. I don't know if this guy will actually keep his word."
"Roger," they replied.
I drew my blade.
Facing a polearm, huh? I had the Massacre Night armor, but it felt like one direct hit would shatter it instantly.
I'll start by feeling out his—as if I'd wait for that!
"The first strike decides the match—!"
I didn't have the finesse for high-level counter-moves. That was Master Katori’s territory.
But the enemy was the real deal. He caught my sword with the shaft of his poleaxe.
"Impossible! You're faster than me, even after my Neural Response Enhancement Surgery?!"
"I didn't think I’d be able to get it either!"
I wasn't quite at Master Katori’s level, but I was definitely stronger than Piggett. Being a Massacre Night copy made him a pain, though.
[Despair] jumped back to gain distance.
In that case, eat this!
I whipped out the handgun holstered on my leg and opened fire.
"Urgh!"
I landed a hit, but he managed to protect his vitals with the axe head.
[Despair] charged.
Shit!
I fired repeatedly, but his momentum didn't waver. He slammed his shoulder into me with a massive tackle.
I was sent flying, tumbling across the meat-floor.
"You've gotta be kidding! You threw yourself back on purpose?! You monster!"
Ah, he caught on.
But hey, my strategy was already set.
"Kevin! Blow it! Wifey! Fire away! I've got the intel I need!"
Fuhahahahaha!
Did you really think I was going to fight you fair and square?!
"Claire! The exit?!"
"This way, I think!"
I scrambled to my feet and hauled ass.
He had hostages, so the best move was to retreat for now. Look, I let him land a hit. That should satisfy his superiors enough not to massacre the others, right? I was buying them time.
You'd better be grateful, old man!
Whether you're an ally or an enemy, I absolutely hate depressing plot twists!
"So long—!"
"W-Wait! Get back here—!"
Kevin's bombs went off.
With a chorus of screams, we were expelled from the mouth... wait, isn't this the wrong direction?
The butt! Please, not the butt—!
I was swept away by a flood of some kind of bodily fluid.
Operation Anisakis: Success.
In the end, it wasn't the rear end.
We were expelled from a massive, planet-class eye. Basically, we were tears.
You know, like when you choke on a drink and it comes out your eyes.
Thank god. Much better than a jet-assisted exit through the colon.
It was my total victory.
Now, for the spoils of the trip.
The enemy was dealing with internal strife. The new types were trying to purge the ones who still considered themselves "old-model humans." Knowing that was a huge advantage.
Throughout history, we humans have been experts at internal conflicts involving blood washing blood!
And... it seemed the other side realized that, too.
A file had been hidden inside a disguised voice packet.
A text file.
[There are 8 Despairs]
Well now, what should I do next?
In the distance, I saw the asteroid-class Zork vanish under the fire of Wifey's cannon.