The test results for the poison were finally in.
Zork like Crab-chan possessed an abnormal, crustacean-like sturdiness. Even if you tore off their limbs, they kept moving. The mass of flesh I had encountered at Melissa's place was just as bad—killing a single section of it accomplished nothing.
To actually put them down, you had to bisect the torso, shatter the shell, and destroy the vitals inside. Most soldiers just used large-caliber ballistic weaponry to turn them into Swiss cheese, but even then, it often wasn't enough.
Humans would be incapacitated by blood loss the moment a single limb was blown off. The Zork’s biological specs were simply on another level.
Napalm was effective, as the heat solidified their proteins and rendered them immobile, but it came with too many restrictions. For starters, humans were more sensitive to heat than the Zork. Flamethrowers were prone to frequent accidents, had a short range, and were terrible when it came to fuel efficiency.
When I thought about it, facing a massive swarm of Crab-chan was the most grueling prospect. We would simply run out of ammunition.
This poison was supposed to be the quick solution. It would have been ideal if we could just spray it like a pesticide, but it didn't look like that was an option. Since it was originally a toxin designed for human-based lifeforms, humans actually had lower resistance to it. We could avoid the effects by wearing combat suits, but the risk of an accident was always there.
Furthermore, the sheer resilience of these unreasonable creatures that crossed the void of space was a problem. Apparently, their respiratory rate was so low that spraying wasn't particularly effective. I supposed a drug capable of skin-permeation would be developed eventually, but for now, we were stuck with injecting it via bullets.
We were also required to take several injections of nanomachines to neutralize the poison. Otherwise, we’d be the ones dying if there was a leak during the operation. We were out in the field, so we had to go in assuming that leaks were just part of the job.
Safety first!
You might think that sounded moronic, right? But when I mentioned it to Tatiana, she just said, “As expected of the elite. The standards for this workplace are actually quite high.”
Apparently, when it came to local enlistments from the provinces, soldiers would play around with the poison and die... and that was one of the better-case scenarios. It wasn't uncommon for entire units to be wiped out. In fact, Tatiana recalled a story from her pre-clone memories about a squad that was annihilated because they decided to play catch with a grenade.
To those of us who had attended the Imperial Officer Academy, that was incomprehensible, but it seemed that was the reality for planet-side residents who hadn't received a proper education. Having studied her heart out since then, the current Tatiana seemed to realize just how insane that was.
I had half-expected her to say she wanted to build a school, but she was looking even further ahead. “First, I want to create a system where people don’t have to borrow money from the Mafia. If we do that, the kids will be able to go to school on their own,” she told me.
It was an incredible amount of growth. Her “big brother” was moved to tears.
Tatiana had also managed to obtain her Humanoid Heavy Machinery License, even though humanoid fighters were still out of her reach. She had even picked up her internal military combat vehicle qualification. While she couldn't drive on public roads yet due to her age, she was now authorized to drive in combat zones.
She was set to provide support for One-oh-one, Kevin, and Nina-san.
One-oh-one had worked hard too, earning her junior medic qualification. That allowed her to assist in medical tasks under a proper medic’s supervision. If she continued her training under Kevin and earned her credits in chemical warfare, she could eventually get her full medic license. With enough field experience, she’d even be eligible for the nursing exam.
On top of that, both of them had apparently been helping Kyoko-chan with humanoid fighter maintenance. Since they had cleared the required practical training hours, I officially awarded them their badges. As a Major, that sort of thing was actually part of my duties.
(Actually, in peacetime, a Major’s job is mostly paperwork—stuff like this and drafting reports for the Imperial Diet.)
Both of them were carving out their own futures with their own hands. I made sure to give them some pocket money from my own wallet as a reward. I really wanted them to spend it on something trivial, like cheap snacks or a toy they’d get bored of in five minutes.
However, One-oh-one had a different request.
“Major! I want you to make hotcakes for us with this money, sir!”
When she put it like that, I couldn’t say no. I immediately got to work, even throwing in a little extra pocket money on the side. I made some for Tatiana as well, piling on the extra cake syrup and whipped cream.
Oh, look, I even had chocolate sprinkles. Might as well use those too.
“Hehehe... I’m going to put ice cream on these, too.”
“N-No way!”
One-oh-one and Tatiana’s eyes sparkled. And so, the calorie bomb was complete.
Kevin and Nina-san wandered in while I was cooking, so I ended up having to make some for everyone. Even Wifey’s eyes were gleaming.
“I have not had the opportunity to eat such things very often...” she admitted.
“Then eat your fill!”
When she looked up at me like that, I didn't have a choice—I just had to keep cooking. I kept the griddle going, flipping pancake after pancake. What was a Major again? Never mind. For now, I was just the local hotcake shop owner.
“Oh, hello, Miss Journalist! What's up? Want some?”
That evening, the news actually ran a segment about me making hotcakes. It was a completely trivial story, but apparently, it was quite well-received. I honestly didn’t understand what the public wanted anymore.
Still, looking at them, I found myself thinking, Wouldn't it be great if things just stayed peaceful like this? I’m so over this war stuff. No one was getting hurt. After all, there was no real benefit to winning against the Zork. We weren't gaining new territory, and even if we did, it would be out in the middle of nowhere. Plus, it came with the added risk of turning people into crabs. Yeah, no thanks.
Still, I suppose we had to take the territory back. Planet Sanctuary was uninhabited to begin with, so it didn't matter, but we had to protect the citizens on the other planets. If we didn't, the very foundation of the Empire would be shaken.
People would start saying, “You call yourselves the Empire, but you just let the provincial people die!” Support for the crown would vanish instantly. After all, the enemy had already proven they could reach the Imperial Capital. If the local lords were abandoned, they would be in trouble, and it might reach a point where they’d rather be independent under a lord who was actually wealthy and strong. We had to avoid that scenario.
Then, one day, the report finally came in.
“T-The Zork have begun their invasion!”
Well, this time, we were ready for them.
“Let us depart!” Wifey declared.
She changed into her military uniform and headed for the bridge. I donned my combat suit and started walking toward Massacre Night. Master Katori was waiting for me at the battleship monorail station, also wearing his combat suit.
“Take this,” he said, tossing a sword to me.
“It’s an Anti-Zork Katana, forged with the latest metallurgy.”
“Master...”
“Look... of all my disciples, you are unquestionably the strongest. Don’t you dare die! When you get back, you’re going to spar with me!”
“Oss!”
I bowed my head and boarded the monorail. It was time to show that Zork Mother exactly what happened when she messed with us.